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Monday, August 29, 2005

Weekend Woes & Water Balloons 

After work on Friday I ended up not going to the gym afterall as my headache was really gnawing away at me, so I went home and just laid down for a bit until my phone rang and hour or so later. A couple of my buddies called me up and invited me to join them for dinner on the other side of town, and when I say other side of town I mean 20 minutes drive. But I figure I had nothing better to do, and I don't want to be a loser just hanging out in my house in the dark on a Friday night so I went. As usual, I am always the first to arrive. Alwyas been a pet-peeve of mine when friends tell me to meet them at a time, in this case 6:30, and they show up at 6:50 or after. This doesn't happen once in a while, my friends are notorious for always being late, and you'd think by now I'd have learned this. I was seated at a table inside with a direct access view of the outside bar. Of course the first thing I see is a brunette woman sitting solo at the bar, probably about my age, looked cute....but wasn't a knockout. We made eye contact, and it was sorta strange. Neither of us smiled or really acknowledged the look, but after a second or so, I got a little self-concious and looked away. For the next 10 minutes until my friends showed up, I would try and steal a quick glance, and everytime I did, she was looking right back at me. Quite honestly, I didn't know how to take this. On one hand I was getting slightly creeped out, on the other, it was somewhat inviting and flattering. However, due to the fact April and I just fell apart hours earlier, perhaps my mind was making things up as a defense mechanism and secretly wanting some instant re-bound to build my ego. My friends shuffled in one by one and we had a few drinks. Of course they all asked where April was assuming I would have brought here, and I just said: "She's out with her girlfriends tonight." Yes, that's right, I wasn't really in the mood to explain the events of the last 24 hours or ready to tell them the deal. Especially since I wasn't even sure of all the answers myself. Dinner itself was a disaster. Our waiter was clearly too young and too incompetant and our whole order was screwed up. Plates came out wrong, drinks were forgotten, plates didn't come out together. Disaster. So we ended up getting our whole meal almost completely comped except the drinks. The only noteworthy thing was that I found my mystery lady outside and I kept staring at each other, and if I weren't with my buddies right then, I may have been tempted to go outside and start up a conversation. I know that sounds really chauvenistic and lame, but I needed the ego boost and even an innocent conversation would have really helped me then. Almost two hours have now passed since we first arrived. By this time clearly it was getting too late to go somewhere else, but too early to go home. One of my buddies offered to pick up a case of beer and we'd all go over to his house just a few blocks away. So that's what we did.... We sat around his living room talking about the past, each downing beer after beer. I figure by the time I left I had had at least a 6 pack on top of the few beers I had at dinner. While I felt slightly buzzed, I think my adrenaline helped negate much of the effects as I seemed totally in control. I drove home about 11pm and saw that a few of my neighbors were out and about hanging out in their garage at the end of the street, so I went back into my house, grabbed 4 more bottles and walked up. We all B.S.'ed some more and I think back now and realize I was just trying to drown out the events of the day. Finally at 11:30, I called it a night, walked back down to my house, took a hot shower and went to bed. Saturday I guess you could say was me time for the day. I woke up, watched a bit of TV I had taped, went to the gym, and do what I do best when blocking out events of the day: I clean. I vacuumed the house, did the dishes, cleaned the bathrooms, stripped the bed and did a few loads of laundry, cleared out trash, fixed little things....just to be busy. That night I went to a co-workers party/bbq I was invited too. Again, everyone thought I was going to bring April, but I deflected the inquiry's pretty well. I only had a few drinks that night and kept a very level head and low-profile. Everyone there was pretty much paired up, or way older so there was no one for me to meet. I left the party at around 10:45pm and made my way down the remote hill when something hit my driver side rearview mirror and door....hard and with a loud thump. Scared the shit out of me. I slammed on the breaks and just about jumped out of my skin. I had had a few drinks, but for a few seconds before my brain could adjust, I wondered if someone shot my car. It took about 5 seconds for me to realize I just got pelted with a few water balloons, but guess what? They just fucked with the wrong guy. These kids have no idea what my mental state has been like the last two weeks, and I was out for blind justice. In my rearview mirror, I saw a white 4 door sedan speed away. Once I collected my thoughts, don't think I didn't turn my big ass SUV around and chase after them. By the time I got my car around, they were no longer in sight, and who knows if I'd catch up with them, and I never did see how many were in the car, how old they were, etc. Clearly stupid on my part in this day and age, but I figure these last two weeks I'm on the edge anyway and now I'm about to bust heads. About a minute later I see a white sedan with three teenage kids in the car headed in the same direction from which I was pelted, so of course I flipped on my brights and went to ramming speed. I'm sure I now scared the shit out of them. They didn't pull over right away, but when they realized I wasn't giving up they quickly turned into a driveway of some house, presumably one of theirs. I stopped my truck smack in the middle of the street and rolled down my windows. "HEY! DID YOU JUST THROW SHIT AT MY CAR?" I boomed. They were terrified, and now I could see a girl in the backseat, probably like 16. A teenage boy in the passenager seat, adn a teenage something as the driver. Seriously I couldn't tell if it was a girl or a guy. "No sir. We didn't. I swear", said the boy. "Well someone just threw water balloons at my car no more than 2 minutes ago from a white 4 door sedan and here you are in a white 4 door sedan." "You can check our car. We don't have any water balloon's". "Of course not, you just unloaded them on me!" "Sir, you're accusing us. Did you see us throw them?" At this point I got out of my car. Now think if you are 3 teenage kids, and a 220 lb body builder with a crazy look in his eyes, a booming voice, and body language suggests somebody is about to die jumps out of his car and starts marching over to you. The girl in the backseat never moved, never said anything, never showed her face. The boy began to back up, and the driver 'thing' looked like she was about to crack. The driver then started raising it's voice at me: "We didn't do it, we just came back from a church party, and you're accusing us and you didn't see anything. I'll admit, because it was dark outside and I didn't see the actual throwing of the water balloons or the license plate, I wasn't 100% sure. Even in my utter anger and flipping, I was only about 95% sure it was them. I was so loud, one of the neighbors, a man came out followed by I presume his wife and started caustiously walking down the street towards me to see what the hellwas going on at 11pm on his street. I don't blame him, but I wasn't in the mood for interferance. I turned to him, "YES? Can I HELP you?" He stopped, clearly knowing he wasn't going to surprise me and more so thinking 'Oh Shit, who is this whacked out guy?' "Um, I just came down to see why you are yelling at this kids on my street?" "Oh, because I just got pelted with water balloons on my way home minding my own business. I know what you're thinking? What? Water balloon's? Big deal, they're kids. No, that's not the point. They just scared the crap out of me, and thank God I'm sober enough to have not lost control of my vehicle. I have no idea what hit me when it happend, it could have been anything." "Did you see them throw it?" He inquired. "No." "Well....I know they were just at a party and wouldn't......", I cut him off... "Well how do I know its them? Because there is only two ways in and out of this complex. It's 11pm at night, no other cars passed me on the way out. None. Just so happens I see a white 4 door sedan, and if you notice there aren't that many cars let alone white ones driving around here at 11pm at night on a dead street. What are the chances another like car with teenagers coming home from a 'party' passed me on the only entrance on this side in the last 5 minutes? Do you think senior citzens or a brigade of 40 something adults are all driving around throwing things at cars here in the neighboorhood? And how convenient they are all soaking wet and wearing swimming trunks. Sir, if you think I am buying the fact they just came from a church function and can't have the capacity to pull a prank at their age, you are on a diffrent realm." I turned back to the kids..... "Hey, you may have your neighbor fooled, but not me. Just be glad he came out and are having this chat, because I don't care how old you are, or where you just came from, or how innocent you claim to be. You are driving the car I saw. You are the only car that passed me in the last 5 minutes on a dead street. You are all wearing swimming trunks and are wet. You need to thank your neighbor right now, because he just saved your lives." They just sat there starring at me. I turned back to the neighbor. "Have a good evening sir. I am sorry to have awoken or disturbed you and now I am leaving, but these kids are liars, I just can't prove it." And I got in my car and drove home. Let me tell you how good it felt to unleash. I got home 20 minutes later and watched Saturday night live. I really got over it pretty quick, but I know those three kids will think twice about ever doing that ever again.

Friday, August 26, 2005

End of April? 

Well in a series of events over the last few weeks that have proven to be a little rough, it just never seems to end for yours truly. From events that transpired yesterday (see last post), I was hoping that cooler heads may have prevailed sometime today. I even went as so far to break the unsaid guy rule (which is pretty stupid rule to begin with) of not contacting her first. As an idiot, I explored uncharted cold waters too early without my snorkel gear, and met an unsavory water demon know as 'Pride'. To make a long story short, there was no sense or sanity to April's viewpoint. While I am sure it was valid in her head, (that is her list of gripes), I maintain that I am not, nor ever claimed to be a mind-reader as to guess when she decides to show up for my house or what she can or cannot have to eat. Clearly there is an underlining issue which when I pressed, she was unable to come up with anything definitive. Well, I'm not buying that. I may be male, but not an idiot. I think for sure that there is something else and I made the first step to inquire what the real 'issue' was. Seeing that I am not getting any response, I figure I tried. I gave her a shot and waited patiently....listening to dead air. Okay.... So, as far as I now or at least consider at this point, April and I are no more. While there was no 'official' termination by corporate standards, it appears that the last 1.5 years of our time together is comming, or has come to a close. I will be leaving work early today and console myself with a bottle of Jack. Alone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Update: Damn I have a headache of the Nth degree setting in. I just took two aspirin and they can't work fast enough. The last few hours has been pretty miserable. Wow. What a difference 24 hours can make in one's life. Part of me wants to go out. Part of me wants to go home. I'm not necessarily angry or upset with April, more so with the situation in total. Maybe because while it may not have been a total blindside, the circumstances of which it came about is somewhat puzzling and unsettling. I hate mysteries, and I can only hope that in the next few days, at the very least April can at least substantiate a logical, coherent explanation. And I'm not stupid enough to think I was perfect. The last few weeks I have had a very rough time with many aspects of my life. I agree I haven't been the most chipper person on God's green earth, but it's moments like these that I wish I could just pack up all my shit and move away and start all over again. New life, new job, new home, new environement, new relationships. Break ties cleanly without the pain. Jack sounds both good and horrific right now. I'm gonna try an be smart about this and not drink, otherwise I'll be in a world of hurt. I'll probably drink too much in a binge, and learn to hate myself in the morning. I do know that I am full of that unhealthy adrenaline right now, and no matter any employee wants right now is bothering me like you can't believe. I want a do-over of the last 2 weeks.

I must have been in a parallel universe last night... 

For Nathan not only didn't get any, my head is still spinning dizzy trying to figure out what the hell got into April last night.

Regarding my post yesterday, I had more or less worked myself up into a mild frenzy. The testosterone was in place, the dirty wheels of the mind were chugging away.....I knew April was coming over last night for dinner, but I didn't know what time because it was never discussed (*remember this sentence. Key point for later*).

So after work I went to the gym and had an excellent workout. It has been 4 months since the surgery, and yesterday I pushed myself and pressed 225 lbs on the bench press. Woot for me! It was only a few weeks ago that it was around 175 lbs, and just weeks after the surgery it was about 115 or so.

Anyway, so I was so looking forward to getting it on last night. Got home, took a nice shower, groomed, sat and waited.....

April shows up just a few minutes before 7pm, and the first thing she asks:

"What's wrong?"

"Uh...nothing. Why?"

"You seem to have an attitude."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You're body language."

"I'm sitting on my couch watching TV. You've walked in 15 seconds ago. What body language am I exhibiting?" (my stiffness started to waver)

'You just seem irritated."

"How can you make that determination in 20 seconds when I haven't seen you all day or even spoke?"

"Did you start dinner?"

"Uh, no."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't know what time you would be here....We never spoke about it." (I'm definetly at half mast now and shrinking)

"Well, I said dinner time. You know I don't like eating late."

"Well, seeing that we never discussed the time and when you come over that can be anywhere from 5pm to 8pm, how would I know when to start dinner? Besides, with your diet, I don't even know we can eat."

"Protein, Nate....Protein"

"And since I am not on your diet, how would I know this was a protein day?" (no sex now...now I'm getting somewhat irratated and puzzled)

"I just wish once in a while you would think of me first before you when it comes to meals."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You lose track of time, often, and I have to sit around for when you decide you are about to start cooking knowing that we had dinner plans."

::Nate blinks, mouth agape, crickets chirp::

"April, I can't talk about this anymore."

"Why?"

"It's nuts. I don't even know what just happened. I had some plans for us this evening, plus dinner.....now I find out I'm the bad guy for not knowing what I was supposed to cook at some mystery time, and apparently me sitting on the couch is giving you a bad vibe indicated by my supposed body language that I have an attitude and have had a bad day. I think that pretty much sums it up. There is nothing to say. I don't want to get into an argument on something I'm not even sure what we are arguing about. I am in a fine mood, or at least was, and I was hoping to rock your world. Now I'm not really in the mood, and I just can't think of anything to say to even begin defending myself or turn this ludicrous event around."

"Figures."

"What?....Figures? You started this. I was minding my own fucking business waiting for you to spend an evening with...YOU.........Whatever...."

Some awkward time passed and she left. I said "Goodbye", and probably spent the better half of the night trying to figure out what the hell just transpired.

We are supposed to go to a party together tomorrow night, but right now, I don't care. Seriously. She also mentioned something about Friday as well, but I'm not gonna sit around and wait to be berated from April's evil Star Trek clone.

Phuck.

And now I realize why I haven't gotten rid of my porn yet. I feel a dry spell of epic considerations on the horizon.

Women: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!


Thursday, August 25, 2005

Groove on. Groove off. Getting my Groove on. 

I updated some links on my right margin today. Added two of my favorite internet radio stations. Both offer a variety of recent and current club music including trance, electronica, house, dance, and fusion. I like all styles of music, but when I go to the gym or out to a club, this is what I prefer for those long dance nights, hopefully rubbing up against some hottie.

Work has been pretty good this week with the absence on CurryMan. One of my peers was humming down the hallway yesterday and said: "Everyone notice how much more calm it is these last few days?" Uh, yeah....three guesses why.

April had a long day yesterday and instead of driving back to her place, she decided to spend the night at my place which was fine. I usually don't mind at all and was kinda hoping to slice off a piece, but alas it didn't happen. By the time she came over it was late, and even though I know the thought both crossed our minds, we were too exhausted. We just ended up watching Kathy Griffin's show. Yeah, I know what you are thinking: "Too tired to play? You're crazy." Yes, you're right, especially with the mood I have been in lately, I'm a walking hormone.

Even my friend, TheBlonde, commented on it yesterday. I just can't seem to get enough visual stimulation, and I wonder why I just can't get enough. Now I'm seperating actual phyiscal sex/foreplay from visual stimuli. Am I addicted to porn? Hmmmm....I really don't know, but if I am, I fall of the wagon occassionaly and binge on adult movies and sites. There will be periods of time where I don't peruse any adult material for weeks at a time, then there will be 72 hours or so where I just can't get enough.

Weird thing is, once I've seen a particular site or a girl, I move on to the next. I rarely visit the same site multiple times, 'cause in some way I think 'Been there, Flogged to that'. I have a few favorites though, and if I were to purchase a membership, it's usually only for a few day trial period, or maybe a month's membership. I'll join to watch a few movies, maybe download a few pics, then I'm out...generally for good. But like I said there are a few sites I've found myself returning to lately.

I have this 'Hyooge' collection of CD's I've burned over the years to the point I don't even know what's on half of them anymore, but instead of going back and re-visiting content I already own and don't have to pay for anymore, I go out and find new sites and start all over again. I wonder if there is some hidden meaning, like I'm afraid of commitment of staying any one place too long? HaHa...I can't even commit to one adult site. April doesn't really 'approve' of this behavior....That in and of itself is a whole discussion on its own merits.

To break it down, April knows I like amateur stuff. Nothing over the top, too sick or too perverted, deranged, fetish, etc. Just straight 'girl next door' centerfolds. She's expressed that part of 'our relationship' issue is that she thinks I may enjoy those sites a bit more than I enjoy looking at her. Then at another time, she suggests we look at them together or rent a movie together....but she'll never surprise me and get a movie or tell me about a site she interested in. It's like "I don't like you looking at this stuff because I'm jealous, so maybe let's look at it together, but I'll never make the time or effort to actually do it." Talk about mixed signals!

So, yes, perhaps I use porn sites as an extension of my unfulfilled sexuality.

Now I'm not really trying to justify why I do it...I know I particularly don't like spending money on it and I know I have a good collection, but it does spark my creativity, and for that April (and some of my ex girlfriends) should be happy. I'm generally pretty creative, but even I hit dry spells and need to think of something new....a new place, new technique, new positions, etc....and sure enough, I've gotten a few ideas from certain sites, and I've received no complaints.

Years ago, I had one relationship even take the leap from being acquaintences to amazing sex for the sheer fact she conferred with me over the phone one night that she used to get very turned on when her ex-husband used to bring porn home from the video store. She went into detail one evening, which shocked the bejezuz out of me, on how her husband used to take her ass while watching videos in the living room....I'm sure her plan was testing the waters with me wondering how I'd react. Let's just say, we made our own videos a few weeks after that discussion. Unfortunately she has those now.

Now back to the present. April was talking about comming over this evening, and I have this fantasy I recently crafted that was inspired from something I saw on the web. I'm thinking of planting her naked bottom down on my kitchen counter next to the sink. Not only is it a new venue, but I'd like to go down on her where she's at that height and maybe even the neighbor's will hear her moans (bonus!). And then there's that little sink sprinkler hose thingy, that I can turn on luke warm and massage her sex with it over the sink and hopefully get her off, which in turn heightens my own pleasure and finish off with sex on the cold kitchen tile. Hey, it's easy to clean up afterwards too....nothing a little Mop N Glow or Swiffer can't handle.

So anyway, I'm not even sure how this post got started today. Probably 'cause of some of the spam I get in my e-mail box from sites with teaser pictures....and that what they do...tease and plant that seed in the 'ole brain.


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Lunch 

Pretty slow today. CurryMan is out training this week, so we have a reprieve from organzied chaos. But I don't think anyone is in the mood again. Just looking around, everyone seems to be only physically here, mentally they are at the track bettin' on the ponies. BB6 is tonight, and I can onluy imagine Beau is putting up Howie and Janelle. Mark my words. So I had a nice treat today at lunch. Actually two.
  1. I just saw one of the most beautiful black girls in my entire life. Actually she was a mix of black and I'm gonna guess Phillipeano. Imagine Vanessa Williams from 10 years ago (before the crow's feet) with a little asian or island influence in there. Tall, skinny, natural. Though her eyes were brown, they had an exotic shape to them. Marry that with her black polyster club pants, and a skin tight light biege corduroy sweater that left nothing to the imagination. She had perfect posture as well...nothing ghetto here. All class.
  2. Just when I thought I fell in love once, then my Persian Princess walked in. My Lord, her outfit would cause many a men today to reach for their heart medicine. I think some Persian women are just beautiful, at least the ones that haven't allowed the sun to bake their skin like rawhide for 20 years. Anyway, she had to have been in her mid 20's. Nice brown/tan skin, dark brunette hair, frosted or weaved with various highlights in the classic Jennifer Aniston cut made popular a few years ago, eyeliner, mauve lipstick, sparkly ear rings to start. Black, sleeveless sweater that also did not leave anything to the imagination. Long, and I mean long slender tone legs went up and up and up to a black and gray plaid pleated miniskirt meant for a 10 year old. Yes....that short. So short in fact that as she stood at the counter to order her food, all of us, and I mean every man in the joint has a perfect view of traditional white panty cotton briefs. No joke. the end of her skirt was above the line of where her bum meets her thighs. I know if she showed up to my job like that, she wouldn't even make it in the front door before HR sent her home to change.

So that was my lunch. Reading a paper by myself enjoying and Ice Tea and reminded that God can make beauty of any race. He should of signed them.


Monday, August 22, 2005

Arousing Awareness 

So it's Monday afternoon, and I'm just watching the clock tick away, wondering how much longer I have. Part of the problem as I related to one of my co-workers is that I am having a hell of a time trying concentrate today. Part of it is that I'm just not in the mood to work, another part is that I'm mentally lazy right now. I'm not really all that pumped up to think about anything for the most part. Then there's thoughts of females running around in my head, sorta like the one pictured here. Yes, I know I sound like a fricken broken record, but my Lord I love denim jeans. I could have other strange fetishes though, right? Like I'm not telling you I like women in diapers, or bones through there noses, or vampire goth chics. No, I'm pretty normal in that respect. A cute face, a rocking bod, denim jeans.....I feel as if I need a cold shower. Actually I've felt that way all day. Temptations left and right. Temptations in the form of adult material: reading your blogs, adult sites, sins of the flesh. Sometimes a brief thought enters the brain, and then can never find it's way out,.... just bouncing around, mutating, morphing. A certain tightening in the chest, butterflies in the stomach, my loins on fire. I'm sure there is a biological/scientific explanation why the male sex drives ebbs and flows more days than others. The whole concious/subconcious drive to procreate. Instinctual influenced by visual stimuli. Men are more visual, women more auditory. It takes simple picture like this to get the whole creative amongst other juices flowing. Especially when I can't concentrate on anything else, my mind wanders towards the gutters. I figure if at least I'm not having sex, who is and how? Are they enjoying it right now? As I type these random thoughts on incoherent sleazy boredom, and you read them, think how many people are having sex right now. I mean it. Right now...this second. By themselves. With their lover. In a threesome or moresome. Are they taking pictures? Are they taking videos? Is he or she doing something they have never done before for the very first time right now? Is someone using handcuffs for the first time? A toy? What music are they listening to? Will they get off only once, twice or more tonight? I think about the Big Brother house too. These people have been in the house 45+ days now. Have any of them snuck away to spend a few quality minutes to 'themselves', if you know what I mean? I wonder if Janelle, my Supergirl, has taken a longer shower than usual one day, or has Rachel hid under the sheets pretending to sleep a few extra minutes in the HoH room to explore herself? Where am I going today with this? I don't know. Seriously. You have caught me in a brain dump right now...raw and exposed. Synapse's firing randomly....a thousand pictures display themsleves in my head: blonds, brunettes, auburn, trimmed, shorn, piercings, chains, tattoo's, sheets, satin, denim, showers, wine, bedroom, dining room, kitchen counter, ice cubes, baby oil. They are all there, non-stop. Scratches, red marks, rug burns, slaps, snarls, gasping breath, shallow moans, flash photography, video clips. Blindfolds, closed eyes, biting lips, licking lips, pouty lips. $18 a month non-recurring charge. CCBill. Bonus content. Bonus sites. Login. Password. Over 18? Warning. Accept. Join. Signup. Exit. Why is lust so contagious? So corrupt? So naughty? So appealing? I really fear for the person who pays my therapy bills.

Monday Minutia 

I'd like to give a shout out to Tony who wrote me a nice e-mail, and also to Joe in Michigan who I've also had some nice chats with. The picture above was done with Joe's handywork....he must also have had a slow day in the office. Thanks Joe. I've been in a slightly better mood lately. I had a chat with my parents and asked them to mellow out on the drama. Also CurryMan has been somewhat more palatable the last few days, and I even broke me off some with April 3x times last week. Too bad it was me initiating it as usual. While I am glad that Jen got evicted from BB6, I thought it was a mistake to take Maggie off and put up Ivette. And talk about high stakes tension....now Beau is HoH. Great (sarcasm). I'm sure he'll put up Howie and Janelle for their antics last week. Dang, I can't believe Maggie and Ivette are still in this thing. So I had a pretty nice dream Saturday evening. I was dreaming that I was actually in my bed either more or less relaxing, getting ready to go to fall asleep, when this very good looking young blond walks into my room. She was wearing a two piece black bikini, and her bottoms were so small (think the Coppertone cartoon girl) that they were not really covering her butt. There was like 2-3 inches of white showing below her waistline that made the tanlines very obvious. Her hair was sorta in pigtails, and she reminded me of a 'amateur' girl I once saw on one of the adult sites on the net. Anyway, she crossed in front of my bed, without saying a word, and got in next to me. I was very surprised and even though I 'recognized' her, I didn't really 'know' her. So she lays down beside me and just strokes my left hand. That's it. It probably would had let into something very sexual if I didn't wake up a few minutes later. But the few minutes of my dream, I remember I was very turned on, and oddly very 'comforted' with her laying next to me, only stroking and holding my hand. It was the sense of her skin touching mine, her warmth, and her gentleness. Wonder what that all means?

Friday, August 19, 2005

Why they are your kids and not mine. 

Musings. So I guess I'm chatty today. Have had a lot stored in me the last week or so, and now I am finding everything amusing/irritating and have something to say. Funny how that works. Last week I really didn't want to talk to anybody, and now I have diareaha of the mouth. Even though we have a large kitchen at work, and even various tables to have your lunch at, I try to get out of the office when I can and enjoy an hour 1 hour of peace and quiet. Inevitably if I eat in my office or anywhere else on campus I get interrupted be employee's asking for favors, or wanting to talk to be in reagrds to work related matters. I find that highly annoying and rude. Can't I get 1 hour of the day where I can eat in peace and actually swallow my food without some numb-skull asking me "How do I do this?" I am so tempted to one day say:

So I tend to go out to lunch, and try to vary my venue from time to time so I don't appear to be as predictable as I actually am.

Today I chose Del Taco, the cheaper version of Tace Bell I suppose, and found a table to myself. Or at least I planned it that way, but then you showed up with your children. Despite all the other open booths and outside table, I guess I must have looked very lonely because you sat your filthy clan in the table right next to mine.

My polite smile must have been very warming to your younger son, because for the rest of my meal and yours, he continued to bump into me as if he was never allowed to sit on Santa's lap and wanted to give mine a try.

Or perhaps you thought I was musically impared and needed some culture, or for that matter the whole resteraunt as we were all treated to his overly loud repetitive rendition of clapping out of synch with a shrieking shrill harmony.

Perhaps when your younger son realized I was not a Disneyland attraction to be rode upon, he turned to the booth as his own personal obstacle course and decided that climbing on and under the table, then scaling the booth chair between bites with his shoes near my face was an acceptable alternative.

And what did you do the whole time? You sat there ignorant to the world unfolding around you....perhaps contemplating if I were of suitable stock to become their new daddy. Perhaps I would sweep you off your feet and we could sell your Datsun B210 and your days at Walmart were finally over. Surley you saw yourself and me on a family vacation to Target where we could let the kids run wild down the aisle's un-supervised as we hared a cherry Slurpee with one straw.

I'm sorry, I'll have to decline your genrous offerings to me as I restrain myself from disciplining your spawn that I am restraining myself from doing. I just want to eat my Macho Burrito in peace and take solace that the world can survice without me for one flipping hour.


Janlle P-Ownz BB6, Myspace.com 

Whoa, What a night at the BB6 house. I was so bummed that Kaysar got voted out, and he should be proud that he achieved 82% of the vote from America. But his comeback was short lived due to Jennifer who sat there and broke promise after promise, and shocked everyone (did you see James face?) with her surprise nomination of Kaysar. It seems with everyweek that goes by, I am learning to despise the bad guys (Ivette, Maggie, Beau, April, Jennifer) more and more. Out of the whole lot, I really dislike Ivette and Maggie, but Jen is quickly making up ground. Sickenning how she tried to justify to Julie Chen how she went back on her word. I was a littel dissapointed with Janelle's and Howie's over-the-top assaults on Beau and April, but finally I like seeing a bit more action in teh house. Damn this house really got divided more so than any of the previous Big Brothers. And to think, it all started with Cappy and Michael. Seriously, if you go back and see the origins of the division of the house, it all started with Eric 'Cappy.' So in twist of events, Janelle pulled off the unthinkable...she won HoH, and immediately put up Jen and Maggie. Did you see Jen throw the HoH key away from Janelle? My team really needs to calm down and collect themselves. But I admit, I'm intrigued by Howie's singling out of April and mentally berating her. I'm not sure I like the tactic, but you'll have to admit, April looks like she's about to crumble. If I were Janelle, I would have put up Jen for sure, but my next victim would have been Ivette, not Maggie. Ivette is emerging as a new leader, and with Beau and possibly James siding with her and her ongoing prattling about Eric and her girlfriend, I'd oust her before Maggie. If Maggie gets of the block with Veto, I hope Janelle puts Ivette up. Need to break up April/Jen or Ivette/Beau. Speaking of Janelle, doesn't she look like my Supergirl? I'd like to see Janelle in a red cape and knee high boots.....I'll be her Lex Luthor. ~~~~~~~~~~~ MySpace.com Okay, I've been hearing about this for quite sometime and another blogger convinced me to sign up only to read another blog of hers, so I did. I can't help but conclude tha MySpace is the most colossal waste of time ever. Imagine being bombarded with 1 million High School year books all in a dizzying array of obnoxious graphics, soundclips, vidoe clips, etc. After I have goofed around on it a few days now, I can't find anything of any relevance whatsoever. It's like Instant Messaging, without the Instant part. Everyone just posts random non-sequiter shout outs. Otehr than that, the 'home page' has a perons vitals, most of it is immature, outdated, and unbelievable to begin with. Some are so graphic intensive, that some pages take a while to load. Typical posting:

I'm actually being nice here. It's much worse, but I just can't think like a 17-25 year old anymore.

Okay, now MySpace's one saving grace: There are admittedly a ton of hot girls on there, and at least they claim to be somewhat sexually active. Now, I'm not sure how much is B.S. or not, but I'd say that at least 50% of the girls on MySpace claim to be bi-sexual, and I'd venture to say at least 15% claim to be right out lesbian. Man, I must be really naive. In all my life, I have met more gay men than gay women, and even combined I only know maybe a dozen or slightly more. And of all the girl/girls I know, none of them are of the 'lipstick lesbain' variety.

So either I have been living under a rock for the last 20 years, or there has been a women's movement of bi-curiosity that has swept across all the 18-23 years old girls of this nation in the last few years, and somehow I missed the notice. Not that I'm complaining, I actually wish I knew more, or if they are hiding amongst me, come out as you did to 5 million people on MySpace with your pics.

But all you guys out there, don't get your hopes up on the pics. MySpace apparantly has a 'no-nudity' guideline, as I think I came across only 1 small blurry nude photo in like 200+ profiles. They are basically canned shots of someone posing in their PJ's, or durnk at a partty or a club. There are some hotties there, but overall, don't expect anything of any intellectual value. I'd say all talk and no action. One massively large 'tease' site.


Thursday, August 18, 2005

Superhot! 

This wasn't going to be my original post today, but I wanted to share with you all a recent fantasy that perkalated to my eros lobes this morning. The above picture is of Michael Turner's 2005 updated version of Supergirl in the DC Universe. This isn't your daddy's Supergirl, or even the Supergirl from the 1950's (Kara), 80's (Matrix) or even the Linda Danvers version of the late 90's. Now I know what you're thinking: "Whoa Nate, last week you're all depressed talking about stalkers, and now yoru talking about fictional superhero's? Are you a geek or what?" Uuuuhhhh, in a nutsehell...YES! But I'd like to think of myself as a cool nerd/geek. All of Michael Turner's comic book chicks are pretty hot, from Aspen to Witchblade, but when I saw this recent re-interpretation of a young Supergirl showing up on Earth and donning the traditional red, blue and yellow with a bare midriff....I salivated. Yes, I think I would like to date a comic book heroine. Now she's not the only cartoon/comic female I have ever taken a fancy too: There was Jessica Rabbit, the aforementioned Aspen, even Josie from 'The Pussycats', amongst many others... But damn! Look at Supergirl! Surfer blond hair, big blue doe shaped eyes, tight tummy, that little miniskirt, knee high go-go boots, rocking chest. What's not to like I ask? I imagine Supergirl and I on a date. She got that whole 'innocent' look going for her, she's naive to a strange planet learning our customs, and its up to yoru truly to show her about town. I take her to coffee and she has her first biscotti. Her little nose wiggles and her face lights up in different expressions to things she never had before. And down the line after a few dates and she feels comfortable with a mortal male, she wonder's what all this 'kissing fuss' is about, and I'm there gladly to explain and help her with her very first kiss. It's totally alien to her. And to me it's a major turn on....I'm kissing a very hot, innocent girl, who's an alien, and a super strong one at that. She could kick my ass with one finger flick. Can you imagine the first time she see two naked bodies together? Hers and mine? Her first experience between satin sheets? I imagine her bedroom with a big 'S' emblazoned on the bed, and a thought comes to me: "How would she handle (or me for that matter) her first orgasm?" Being a superheroine, would she have super senses? Super speed? Super grip? You get my idea. I just imagine her waking up from my arms early in the morning, making her way to the restroom wrapping herself only in her red cape, bare shoulders and tan thighs exposed to me as I watch her walk away. Supergirl makes me Superhot!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Questions 

I took these questions from fellow blogger: The Blonde. Thanks for the content idea :) 1) What was I doing 10 years ago? Working my 1st post college 'real' job at a mortgage company that sucked, living at home, wondering why I had just spent 5 years getting two degrees and working for this particular craphole. Filled primarily with high-school drop outs, I rose relatively quickly amongst the down trodden trailer angst, but also because of my age I missed out on further promotions. The best thing that came out of that job was two physical relationships with fellow employee's who were a few years older who liked to be seen with a younger guy, but neither of them lasted too long. 2) What was I doing 5 years ago? I now found my self in the technical industry, living with one of my best friends at the time in an apartment is a decent area. Again, had a few physical relationships with female employee's, some good, some really good in fact, but in the end all died. None of them work there anymore now. I was furthering my education in technical areas, taking certificate type classes, seminars, etc. Doing a lot of clubbing and binge drinking on weekends. 3) What was I doing yesterday? Going through the motions of civility with CurryMan, all the time plotting his demise and wondering what life would be like if he were gone. Went to the gym and happy to report I had a bench press of 205lbs!!! Still a long way off from 340, but I broke 200. Studying TCP/IP manuals and wishing I were home. 4) What was I doing today? So far waking up and counting 3 days left until the weekend and no CurryMan. Filling my SUV with the least expensive gas and still noticing it cost about $50. Drinking my coffee and answering this. Plan on going to gym today, and possibly visting my parental units. Spent a few minutes praying thsi morning looking for peace for myself and my family and friends. 5) 5 Snacks I enjoy: Chips & Salsa An occasional Oreo cookie and ice cold milk. Cajun flavored pistachios. Italian pastries and a good cup of coffee Dark Chaocolate 6) 5 bands I like: Depeche Mode A Band called America New Order Public Enemy Paul Oakenfeld 7) 5 things I'd do with a million dollars. Buy a house in New Mexico Take care of my parents once and for all Get a decent, sensible car.....noting extravagant Take a 2 week vacation somewhere exotic like Egypt, or Dubai Invest the rest to make sure when I retire I am comfortable for life. 8) 5 places I would like to runaway to: Italy, 'cause I've never been there. Kenya, so I could take an African safari Carribean, so I could drink exotice, fruity drinks with crystal blue water and sun bathe naked Santa Fe, New Mexico because I love the food, the people, the artwork, the peace. Dubai, they have the only real 5 star hotel in the world. 9) 5 Bad habits: I don't pick up my clothes all the time. I binge drink on occassion to 'forget'. I'm too forgiving to the point where I let people walk over me. I tend to bite my finger nails when I'm nervous. I speak my mind sometimes at the wrong time. 10) 5 Things I like to do: Play video games Cook Read Have sex Work out 11) 5 TV shows that I like (now) Big Brother Entourage Battlestar Gallactica Rescue Me King of Queens 12) I would like to meet: Too hard to answer. There are so many for diffrent reasons. 13) Biggest joys in my life right now: It's sad, really sad I really can't think of anything right now that is a complete joy. Right now at least I take it one day at a time, and just try to cope with mental challenges at work, with my family, with April and myself. Sorry to say, nothing stands out 'right now'. 14) 5 favorite toys: DVD player and surround sound & Netflix. Computer for games and porn My MP3 player when I work out My Sci/Fi memorabilia collections Xbox

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Laptop Frenzy 

Damn sickenning. What the hell are wrong with people?

Damn Jen and CBS 

I don't know how I missed it, but apparantly I missed Saturday's episode of BB6. I had to read the highlights on CBS.com. Needless to say I can't believe Kaysar fell for her pleas, then turned around and did the opposite of what she said she was going to do. So I guess the house is divided once again. Kaysar should have known that nobody, including quiet Jen would keep their word. They are all cult followers of Cappy. I'm really surprised at the popularity polls as well on CBS in regards to the cast. Maggie, Ivette are doing much better than I would have guessed. Boo. I'll get my fix tonight.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Monday Musings 

Musings I got a new computer at work finally and now have to take the time to re-load all my fun applications, such as "Hello" so I can post pictures here again, so be patient as there may be a few growing pains. So no real news on the 'Stalker' front, which is good. Since my phone number has changed last week it's been quiet, I also haven't really received any e-mails from her either so maybe she found her pills again. I did get forms from the Internet I have to fill out and then bring to the county courthouse to file. I guess they determine the fees based on the complaint, so I'm unsure what is expected of me so far. I'm bummed I missed Big Brother 6 sometime on Saturday. At least it wasn't on at it's regular time, so I'm not sure what happened, if anything? Friday afternoon, as if my week was shitty enough, CurryMan and I had a 'meeting' behind closed doors, where it was made clear to me that he treats me different that he does others. I've had it. On top of the week from hell, my day ends with his irriational ramblings. I was too tired and emotionally spent to argue with him, and it really get me nowhere anyway, so right after my 'meeting' with him, I went straight to HR and filed a formal complaint. Enough is enough, no more Mr. Nice Guy Nate. After I discussed the nature of our conversation, HR assured me it was indeed inappropriate and that they would be talking to him soon. So you can imagine I'm walking on pins and needles here for the next round of stress and conflict. I swear, I'm this close (especially after last week) to flying over that desk and punching his ticket once and for all. The outside weather is an analogy for my mood: dark, cold, overcast, and gray. Back to Friday: So afterwards, I was going to go to the gym, but I made every excuse not to and found myself at a bar. And I drank beer. A lot of beer and had nachos. Great, just what my body needs more junk food. I came home alone and sat in the dark in front of my TV and just watched the clock roll on. In bed by 11pm. So glad this week is over. Saturday I went to a BBQ and had a nice time. Drank a lot again, primarily beer to the point where I am beer'ed out (I just made that up....not very catchy I know). I knew some of teh people there, but not all, and really tried to put recent issues to bed. Unfortunately alcohol just put them temporarily on hold and when I got up yesterday I hade a mild headache. So I threw myself back into my house. I picked up paint swatches, and finally took out that bush from hell....the one where I screwed up my shoulder again about a month or so back. Speaking of which the shoulder feels fine and since I'll be going to the later I can test the strength level of my lateral raises. Now the lovin department: As I reported last week, my sex life as of late has been non existant. Mostly due to the complex issues of my life, I just wasn't in the mood. But yesterday kinda changed that. April was going to come over and we were going to have a late lunch, as she knew I've been in the dumps lately and wanted to cheer me up I guess. Anyway, I was on my computer a bit before she came over and I whiel I was puttering around my office I came across a CD with no title. Not knowing what it was, I popped it in, and to my surprise I found a classic amateur picture CD I haven't seen in some time. Tons of amateur pics of 'the girl next door' if you catch my drift and within minutes I could barely concentrate on anything else. I despretly had the urge to take matters into my own hand, but I chose to wait until April came over and see if we could have a little appetizer before we had lunch. When the doorbell finally rang, I yelled downstairs to here to come on in. She walked in the door and looked up to see me on the 2nd story landing where I have a short wall that's about waist high. "Um, come up here.", I said. "Why? What are you doing up there?", April questioned back. I didn't say anything, I just held up one of her 'toys' she left over once before. A long slender metallic vibrator. I wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or caught of guard, but she just sorta looked at me speechless for a second and her eyes got big. "I'll be in my office", I said and turned my back to her and walked away. With a minute or so, she walked cautiously into my spare office. The midday light was coming through the windows and I had set up some nice cushions on the extra chair. We didn't really say much. I just reached for my computer, turned on some R&B internet radio station, turned back to her and slowly undid her jeans. As I knelt don on my knees before here, I slid her pants down her legs, down her calves and finally to the floor. She was wearing one of her requisite thongs so I positioned her in front of the spare chair and made her sit. From there, I reached up with both hands and tugged at her thongs, and pulled it off as well. She still had her shirt on, but was naked from the waist down. Back down on my knees I leaned in and began to kiss the inside of her thighs and then made my way to her moist folds. While burying my face between her legs, I was blind searching for her toy, and when I finally found it, I turned it on, not once lifting my face from her sex. With it's hypnotic hum, I urged it towards her privates and finally pressed it in. There was a tiny bit of resistance at first, but firm pressure allowed it to slide in within a few more moments. Now April had grabbed the back of me head and ran her fingers through my hair. With my tongue lapping away like a kitten to milk, and my one hand thrusting her metallic friend in and out, it was only a matter of minutes before the bucking in the chair started. I was told to back off for a second as she recovered from her cookie, and I took that time to grab a towel and place it on the floor. I laid April down onto the towel in the middle of my office and stood before her. First my shirt came off, then I unzipped my own pants and shimmied them off into a pile. My boxers were straining and she giggled as the proverbial 'pitched tent' syndrome was pretty evident. April was pleasantly surprised as I when I shucked my boxers, she noticed my recent handywork at 'manscaping' and I got a wicked smile. I was so excited at this point I warned her that I had a lot of tension built up and this first time probably wouldn't last too long, but I make up for it later. She smiled and said okay, and next thing I was down on my knees rubbing my swollen member against her wet sex. Finally satisfied with her lubrication, I pushed myself in, holding onto her knees. I looked down as I wanted to savor the view. Inch by inch, watching her envelop me. As I predicted, it didn't last all to long. Between the earlier visual stimulation, the few week hiatus, the fact she was so turned on, and now more visual stimulation, I knew the wave was about to crash on the shore. Another few minutes of controlled stokes was all she wrote, and finally I exploded. So hard in fact my muscles deep inside felt like a a knot trying to unwind. I apologized and she smiled after a few minutes of kissing on the floor, told her I was gonna take a shower before we ate that she could join me if she so chose. "I'll just lay on the floor for a few minutes." So I got up and headed off to my shower. When I was done and came out she was already dressed again. April smiled at me and told me to eat hearty, that she needed me to be ready again when we got back to my place later. The thought of her getting dressed back up after a messy session kinda turned me on again as we headed out the door..... To be continued....

Friday, August 12, 2005

Stalker 

True story Thanks to everyone that is written me. You don't realize how much it means to someone when there's a community out there, though you may have never met, share their feelings with you and offer words of encouragement. That is one of the reasons I started this Blog over a year ago. I wanted to express my inner thoughts that I may be too embarrassed to share with my family, my local friends, my co-workers. You see, like any average Joe, I spend 40-50 hours a week with my co-workers....who while some may consider them your 'other' family, I don't. Computer nerds (including me) are a different breed altogether. They are social butterflies, they are more interested in talking about TCI/IP or DHCP servers, and WANs & LANs than they are about their lives. And I am surrounded by that. I'd like to think of myself as hopefully that cool nerd, something like a cross between Bill Gates and The Rock (if you know who that is). Someone who does his 40 hours, then leaves his work at the door so I can go out with April (or whomever), get my drink on, lift weights, and go to clubs. I just can't share 'myself' with my co-workers, and don't get me going with my family. I honestly think at times I am the only 'sane' person in my family, and that's questionable as of late. Like I told April the other day, "I need a time-out on life". And there's you guys. Complete strangers who honestly I believe know me better than some of my best friends who I've known for years. You share with me, I share with you. I believe, at least for the most part, if that if I ever met any of you face to face, I'd like to think we'd be good friends and go out and have a beer. Seriously. So, I didn't mean to bait you with the 'stalker' news yesterday, but judging from what you all wrote, it bears some explanation: A few years back a single woman moved into the area in which my parents live. All I could tell was that she was a few years older than me and 'appeared' to be nice and somewhat attractive. My parents at least befriended her for a short time and encouraged me to be 'neighborly' and help her with a few 'heavy' items that needed lifting or placing in her house. And so I did. While she was attractive, I never once thought about dating her at all. First, she was the neighbor of my parents and I could never feel comfortable parking my car in front of her house especially overnight knowing my parents could see her house from theirs at any time. She also seemed to have a little too much drama going on in her life as well. She had just broken up with long term boyfriend, her brother was out of a job and was going to live with her and bring his wife and child as welll for a while, and a few other things. At the very most, the only thing we ever did together was have a drink and once more for coffee....as friends. Period. Well life moved on and one day out of the blue a few years back I get a call from her, which really surprised me as we hadn't spoken in some time and I don't even remember giving her my phone number. Anyway, we chatted innocently and she asked me to help her with a design project for school. She wanted a subject to 'design' the 'perfect room' for someone's house and she chose me. I was actually kinda flattered, and played along....all by phone. Never once did we meet in person, nor flirt, or exchange pictures of my house. I was actually dating someone at the time and she knew this. Then I get an e-mail one day telling me that 'I led her on' and that my girlfriend was a 'whore'. Imagine my shcok and disbelief of what I was actually reading!! What? Where the hell did that come from? I decided right then and there I didn't even want an explanation from her, that a screw was loose, and never had any contact with her again. For three years. About two months ago I received an e-mail from her claiming that she was having an affair with my father. Yeah, right. She convienently told me that all the 'naked' pictures of her and my dad in the act were 'stolen' from her house. This was followed up by another letter the next day with more ramblings. I know she was off her rocker because my father was out of town and was also recovering from surgery during the 'questionable time period.' I ignored the letters, but saved them just in case this got worse. But I never once responded to her accusations. I don't even remember her phone number these days. Then it stopped until last week. I have now recieved new letters to which I have to block her e-mail address from my inbox. More incoherent ramblings about her watching me and describing things, which is totally bizarre because the palces she mentions I have never been to in my life. Then the phones calls started. I came home the other day and found my entire answering machine filled with her voice. One right after the other. Talking about sex, my parents, her, affairs, me, April (who she has never met...but apparantly has seen us out together). April is a little freaked out, and I don't blame her, I'm more or less floored and wondering if she is bi-polar and off her meds. Anyway, I had to change my phone number the other day which is a pain. Not changing it per se, but I had that number for years and now I have to contact all my friends and give them my new number and tell them to keep it private and explain why I have to have it changed. I have kept all the letters she has sent me, and seeking legal direction from a few lawyers here at work on how I proceed from here. I have no idea the cost of a restraining order, how they are filed, by whom, and how they are served. I do plan on calling the police, either today or Monday, but wanted to get some direction from my 'lawyer' friends here at work so I don't go into this blind and realize all the ramifications. Perhaps changing my e-mail and phone number is good enough for right now. Dunno. So that's my 'stalker' story for right now. I'm not really scared. Just find it annoying as all hell, and feel sorry for her. I think she must be taking meds and decided to go off them and is delusional. At least that's my mind making a justification for her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So onto other things: BB6: Boooo. Sarah is gone on a vote from 6 to 1. Stupid. They had a chance to rid Ivette and they blew it big time. Yay! Kaysar is back. Nice!! His vote was like 82+%. That means Eric and Michael had less than 18% of the vote together!. America realizes that 'Cappy' was trouble and I think America is sick of Ivette and Maggie and didn't want to reward them at all. I bet if we took a poll right now, I woudl say Ivette and Maggie woudl be America's choice to be ousted next, not James as 1/2 the house guesses. Well, I'm out for the time being. It's Friday, and who knows what wacky shit CurryMan will pull today to drive everyone nuts and puch me closer to the line. Father, please forgive me. I really don't like to 'hate' anyone as I find 'hate' ugly and destructive, but I never disliked anyone so much in my life as I do right now and shamefuly wish unhappy things regarding him. Lord, grant me peace.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Whole Enchilada 

Musings If you haven't noticed lately, I haven't been writing that much here. You probably haven't noticed as I see my readership has slightly dipped lately, and I don't blame ya....I've been pretty boring lately. As a matter of fact, the most interesting thing going on is the title of this post for the most part. 'The Whole Enchilada' popped into my head just seconds ago, most likely a subconscience thing based on the fact I have indigestion. Why you ask (or most likely didn't, but hey it's my post right?)? 'Cause I ate a whole medium pizza from Dominoes last night, 10 Chicken kickers with hot sauce, and a whole bottle of Japanese Sake and a Jack & Coke. I also had a late lunch yesterday that consisted of a Wendy's Spicy chicken sandwich (not that spicy actually) and a $.99 cheesburger. My body is paying for it, but I consider it 'comfort food'. I atcually had a decent gym workout yesterday, my bench press is up to 185lbs now with very little agitation of the shoulder. But I left work early yesterday because I'm in a funk. And hence the gorging of 'comfort food'. I normally don't eat that shit, especially all in one day like I did, but I've been a bit depressed lately and that also is part of the reason I haven't been so creative or verbose lately. So why am I in a funk? Well, it's not just one thing. It's a myriad of things that just continue to build up. I'm pretty good in dealing with adverse conditions, but only one or two at a time, not a whole quiver of them as I feel stacking up against me lately. I am having issues at work, with April, with my parents, with a 'stalker' (more on that later), my home, my bills, with CurryMan. A good friend of mine is also getting a divorce which is bothering me too. My sex drive lately is random, most likely because I've been working so much lately I just don't have the time or energy for a quick 'flogging' either by myself or with April. Though I did have an erotic dream last night. Basically my dream consisted only of foreplay (read: no release) and is the most action I've had in 2 weeks. Sad. It also seems that everytime I turn around lately I have another bill. Car registration, property taxes, mortgage, utilities, medical (surgery related), home improvements, etc. I'm not going broke by any means, but every dime I have made for the last 2-3 months is spoken for. Sobering. As far as the 'Stalker' goes, that's another post for another day. I'm going to be calling the police here shortly to find out how I file for a restraining order. Weird. I never thought in a million years, I would ever have a 'Stalker', and a female one at that.....but she's nuts and now delusional. I'll keep you posted on that. So Big Brother 6: WOW! James got the veto and used it on himself. Awesome. I love that Ivette was put up on the block and it seems slowly that a few people, including those supposedly on Ivette's side (i.e. April) may be turning on her. Tonight should be pretty exciting. That's sad isn't it? The best thing I have to look forward to and report to you is my 'jonesing' for BB6. I've voted for Kaysar at least 6 times now, and it seems most people I talk to want him back as well. So I have a good feeling he 'may' be coming back tonight. Yay! And I would love it Cappy Cult follower Ivette was gone....and I have this small feeling she may go. One can only hope. Oh, and it looks like the new cast for Survivor 11 is up on CBS. Yay! Brianna, Brook, Danni, Morgan are all hotties. Danni is the 'hottest' though to me. Yummy!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Yay Chas! 

Save Kaysar: see Sugar and Ice to vote. Vote Kaysar

Howie, Howie, Howie 

My Lord, I can't believe what a reality show junkie I have become,....well, actually I can. As I've mentioned many times before, I really enjoy some of the better known ones such as Survivor, Amazing Race, and Big Brother. I'm really hooked into this season's Big Brother, that is season 6, and I'm astounded at myself for the visceral reactions I actually get during some of the turning points in the game such as HoH competitions, Veto competitions, and eviction. I was really bummed when Kaysar left, and have done my best to vote him back in as America's Choice vote this past week. Not only have I used my cell phone to text my vote (at $.49 no less), I have used three different computers to go to CBS.com and vote him back in for a total of 4 votes, and hoepfully working at the company I do, I will have the chance to vote a few more time for Kaysar. Yes, I am that pathetic. But I was really surprised at Howie's decisions this week to place James and Sarah up at this point, and I think it is a HUGE tactical error. Even April basically slapped her head when Howie made the announcements. My God Howie, I can't believe you don't see what everyone else sees...even Rachel your own partner: Maggie is a force to be reckoned with, as is the brainwashed Ivette. As I see it, it was a no brainer to put up Maggie and Ivette would be second runner up for me. Here are my reasons:
  1. If, on the outside chance Eric does come back, obviously the balance of power shifts dramatically in his 'sheeps' favor, so it would be nice to take Maggie out if that were the case.
  2. Maggie can only promise for herself, not for the rest of Eric's cult as she admitted on Saturday, so even if she keeps her word not to target Howie or Rachel, anybody else in her cult can. Stupid.
  3. Sarah is so blind in love with James, she will throw all her weight into James. Howie and Rachel need her vote and support in the long run, and this just flushed that down the toilet.
  4. James had vowed to rid of Eric if he indeed did come back, or Maggie if he didn't. They easily could have had James and Sarah's vote this week to oust Maggie. Now if James survives, Rachel and Howie will be targets next week. They really needed Jame's support for the long run.
  5. Ivette just plain bugs me. I can't understand for the life of me why she is so enamored with Eric. I am beyond puzzled as I stated before how Eric was able, after just a few short days, brainwash Ivette, Beau, Maggie, April & Jennifer. Good God.
  6. Getting rid of Ivette would break apart her and Beau, thus eliminating a 'team', and also relieving the house of some stress that Ivette causes with her contant 'Eric'-isms. Also one last 'stronger' person if Eric does come back.

Beside my points above, I'm really surprised how easily that Howie spilled the beans on certain plans and Rachel has a right to be upset with him. God, the biggest problem with these people, are that they think only day to day instead of long term, and can't keep their mouths shut. They all sit and proclaim that they are master strategists, yet when it comes to most logicl decisions, they buckle like a house of cards.

BTW, I want Rachel and Janelle.


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Free Tibet! 

....with the purchase of a Tibet of equal or greater value.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Rockstars and Nose Nuggets 

So instead of my usual 2-3 fresh brewed coffee's I have every morning, to which I think I am immune to now from years of caffiene abuse, I decided to have a 16oz Rockstar drink. It is very similar to Red Bull....at least it is supposed to be. I had my Rockstar at 6:45 this morning....and I am here to report it had ZERO affect on me. I felt no 'boost' of energy what-so-ever. As a matter of fact, by 9:45 am could barely stop yawning. I pretty much never show any signs of response to these so called 'energy drinks'. For whatever reason, they just don't seem to faze me. So now I'm drinking a 32oz of Ice Tea, knowing that while the caffiene content is low, I am just avoiding a headache at this point. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ So 'Tim' comes up to me today in my office asks me to help him fix a piece of hardware for him. 'Tim' gets paid big money, and has a lot of power around here, but is a slob. Looks like a mountain man in the unflattering sense....hair is always unkempt, his clothes always looks like he's slept in them for a few days, his gut resembles a 6 month pregnant woman. Anyway, I usually don't liek touching any of his stuff,...it always seems as if there is a fine sheen of body oil on everything he touches. Did I paint the picture yet? So, he's standing in my office and talking to me, the whole time this booger is hanging out of one nostil getting trapped in his moustache like a stalagmite. I am trying to not be grossed out and also to keep a straight face. Ewwww. God, hasn't anyone ever taken the time to teach the guy hygiene?

Silent Screaming 

Crawl Posted by Picasa I'm not sure what got into me the last few days, but as I was telling Cass, I'm a moody guy right now. I'm pretty sure men can have PMS like syndromes, and I'm smack in the middle of one. Nothing taste's right, I feel a little out of synch in the social realm, my body feels a bit sore, my sense of humor is a bit off, and I am also horny as all hell. Maybe that's my problem,....I'm going through a tad of a dry spell, and part (not all) of it is by choice. I'm bored of dating right now,...the whole idea of feeling obligated to entertain someone at my financial/emotional expense just seems too taxing for me. April isn't helping matter either. She was showing some promising signs a few weeks back before my trip, but as I sorta suspected, it was all talk. She's had her chance...actually quite a few...to do something to me, take advantage of the situation, turn me on.....but alas, she doesn't. She calls to say she loves me, which I admit is nice to hear, but I just don't feel "wanted". So I submit to you the picture above. I entitle it "Crawl". To me, this simple little picture speaks volumes and gets my heart rate jumping. It's not a submissive/dominance thing at all. I just love the fact this girl has her socks and a 'T' on, her eyes closed in fantasy, and appears to be crawling towards me. I picture her from my point of view as I'm sitting on the couch facing her, drink in hand, wearing only a pair of beat up jeans. She crawls to me and will she ever get a surprise when she meets me. Damn, It would start of tender, but I have a feeling it would end all rough. Crap, I hate feeling like this so early in the morning and I can't do anything about it. BB6: Crap, I'm bummed Kaysar is up on the block. Did I mention I loathe Ivette. Geezuz, what an automaton for Eric' Cappy', aka Brainwasher. My lord, James is right, Eric started a cult within that house. I don't think I ever recall seeing people fall so hard for a guy as a 'leader' in two weeks as I'v eseen here. Maggie, Ivette, April, Beau....make me sick. I couldn't be their friends in the outside world for the sheer fact that they are A) hypocrites of the worst kind...because they are blind even to their own actions, B) Drama-centric, especially Ivette, and C) fricken' SHEEP. BAH! Six Feet Under: OMG, (spoiler alert................) Nate Fisher died in last night's episode. God that show is one of the best, but you ever notice that each episode is so depressing? Wow, I know this is the last season, but I was a little surprised of his death being a major character and a few episodes left. Gym: Had a few nice workouts this past week. Did the bench press again, but limited myself to only 135lbs, but a ton of sets. My chest has been sore the last few days, but in a good way. Will do it again tonight. Bought some resitance rubber bands that I do while watching TV, while strengthing the shoulder. Been doin' more crap around the house again. Getting ready to remodel the master bathroom. Was out yesterday buying hardware and getting paint swatches. It seems like it never ends. I'm starting to detest cutting the grass on a weekly basis. It's a chore I really do not care to do anymore. Man I wanna meet the girl in this picture.

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