Thursday, May 26, 2005


Musings Remember the first time you kissed me? You were so tender and I was in shock. They way your breath became still as your mouth parted to meet mine that very first time? Remember that time you threw me a surprise birthday, in your bedroom, and it was neither of our birthdays? Remember when you cooked that meal for me. We both knew you couldn't cook, but it was the effort that touched me and your smiles. Remember that time we slowed danced to my favorite song, and I whispered the lyrics in your ears as if I had wrote it myself? And you hugged me even harder? Remember that time I tried to introduce myself to you, and I was nervous and grasping for words? You smiled and still gave me your phone number. Remember the club we went to once, and danced for hours not having a care in the world? Do you also remember it was later that night you told me you weren't wearing any panties? Do you remember we started out as friends first? And we just connected? How did we drift apart? Do you remember me crying? And you held me into the wee hours of the night piecing me back together? Remember that time you picked out and wore an outfit just for me? Knowing that I was full of desire for what was actually underneath all that. Do you remember that you had more experience than I did, and took this 18 year old boy and gave yourself to him so he could experience intimacy for the first time? Remember the first time I filmed us in bed? Remember those quiet moments were we just sat next together, sharing a beer, listening to the wind and the crickets and watching the sun set? Remember the time you wore that new perfume, and I noticed, and I had to have you right then and there? I remember all these things and more. And I thank you all for being a part of my life, despite the heartaches. I remember of all of you, how could I ever forget? I miss you all, but I'll always remember.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Pizza? Eh? What's that sonny boy? 

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina (AP) -- An 86-year-old woman was jailed after police said she called emergency dispatchers 20 times in a little more than a half-hour -- all to complain that a pizza parlor wouldn't deliver. Dorothy Densmore was charged with misusing the emergency telephone hotline, jail spokeswoman Mandy Giannini said. She told dispatchers Sunday that a local pizza shop refused to deliver to her south Charlotte apartment, said Giannini. She also complained that someone at the shop called her a "crazy old coot," Giannini said. Densmore wanted them arrested. Instead, police came to arrest her, and she resisted, Giannini said. It's unusual for someone to face charges for nonemergency calls, Giannini said. But on Sunday, Densmore kept calling 911, even after she was told to stop, Giannini said. When an officer arrived at her apartment, the 5-foot (1.5-meter) -tall, 98-pound (44.5-kilo) woman attacked him, Giannini said. Densmore scratched him, kicked and bit his hand, she said. Densmore also is charged with resisting a public officer and two counts of misusing the emergency telephone system, jail records show.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Mundane Updates 

Musings For those that have asked about my shoulder, things are going very well according to my doctors, but I frankly, expected more. I'm out of the sling now and would say I have rougly 75-80% range of motion at this time. The only real pain I have is a a slight rotation of the shoulder as if you can picture your arm extended over a steering wheel and turning it that way. Otherwise, I have a dull ache, kinda like a 'bruise' feeling that just won't go away. My scar is healing nicely, but still noticeable, and one stitch that was poking out from inside was removed the other day. My physical therapist seems to be very impressed with my progress. I'd like to attribute that to the fact I was in pretty good shape to begin with, and that when he tells me to go home and do 20 reps, I do 40. Yes, I'm pushing it a bit, but being good over all. Still no bench pressing, or relative weight lifting on that side, but I may 'test the waters' tonight. I'm in week 5 of the supposed 10-12 week recovery. Other stuff: April and I are getting along fine. We had a nice 'session' Sunday afternoon and I was very suprised with her bravado. She asked me if I was up to it again later that evening, but we both fell asleep. The temperature has been a little warm....actually more like a mini heat-wave. I've been keeping an eye on my grass pretty good, but noticed some crab-grass that I may be just slightly behind the 8 ball in catching before the heat. Now I'm in the process of watching it daily and treating and repairing it. Work has also really slowed me down. CurryMan has been better than usual towards me...Let's see how long that will last. But I have projects comming out my butt right now and it make me mentally tired. Taking a few day vacation in two weeks. April and I are gonna leave town for 4-5 days. I need a breather. Between work, my shoulder, the heat, and some family 'issues' I don't want to discuss right now.....I really need a time out to smell the roses, breath some clean air, eat some new foods, and get some quality time in with April. Saw Star Wars last week. I loved it. Will see again. Rob and Amber's televised marriage is on tonight I believe. Not sure if I'll watch it or not. Seems like the rest of the season for most shows is coming to end this week. All that means is I'll be watching more DVD's. Speaking of which, I have't watched a porn DVD for ever now. May have to break out a classic. Get the 'ole juices flowing (no pun intended). Sorry... I seem to be pretty boring this week. I'm just menatlly tired.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


According to PlayerAppreciate.com, I am no longer Nathan Dayspring, you may all refer to me now as: Big Playah Nathan Love. And you can now refer to the Hater Playa, Mexican president, Vicente Fox as: Diamondtrim Vicente Slick. Yeah Boy! So what's your handle?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Not a Foxy Man 

True Story MEXICO CITY, Mexico (AP) -- President Vicente Fox's office on Tuesday insisted his comment that Mexicans work jobs blacks don't want in the United States was misinterpreted, DOH!!! a day after he told leaders in the U.S. black community that he regretted "any hurt feelings." No shit...Who wants to be in Jesse Jackson's or Al Sharpton's cross-hairs even if your a leader of a corrupt country. In a speech Friday, Fox praised the dedication of Mexicans working in the United States, saying they're willing to take jobs that "even blacks" won't do. Double DOH!!!! On Monday, he spoke with the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton by telephone and told them: "I regret any hurt feelings caused by my statements." (Full story) Only because you thought you can sneak that comment by our media and get away with it. HA HA. The president maintains his comment was misinterpreted and a public apology is not forthcoming, presidential spokesman Ruben Aguilar said Tuesday. What?!? Oh, my poor Presidente Fox, how clueless you are in not issuing an apology to the wrath of the Jackson/Sharpton racial tag team. You pissed of the Oprah Winfrey's constituents and stirred up the pot. Sucks to be you today. "From the point of view of the president, the misinterpretation has been clarified with the affirmation by the president, with his repeated demonstrations of absolute respect for minorities, whatever their race, their ethnicity, their religion," Aguilar said. Too bad he doesn't show respect for his own country, his corrupt regime, and his willingness to let the U.S. care for his people. On Monday, State Department spokesman Richard Boucher called the remark "very insensitive and inappropriate" and said the U.S. Embassy in Mexico City had raised the issue with the Mexican government. Damn Straight!. Shoudl have screamed back at them for all we do for that country. But Aguilar said Mexico had received no formal complaint from the State Department, repeating the president's position that his remarks "were misinterpreted." 'Cause our State Department when it comes to illegal immigration are pussies and don't enforce the laws they pass because they too fear the ACLU and what the left thinks of them. We wouldn't actually want to hurt anyone's feelings would we? Asked whether an apology was on the way, Aguilar said "the point is closed." Coward. Fox has invited Jackson and Sharpton to Mexico for talks aimed at improving the sometimes tense relationship between blacks and Hispanics in the United States. No date had been set. Hey Reverened Jackson should take this opportunity to take his illigitmate child down to Mexico for a bonding experience. Sharpton can turn this into a photo op or a Saturday Night Live skit before he runs for president in three years. The Mexican government delivered a diplomatic letter to the United States on Monday protesting laws requiring driver's license applicants to prove they are in the country legally and clearing the way for an extension of a border barrier wall along the California-Mexico border. Fuck them. I protest my tax money paying their medical bills, education, court fees and child support. "This is an exaggeration," said Manuel Espino, leader of the conservative National Action Party. So is you're concern. "There have been a lot harsher comments that come from north of the border, and we don't scream and shout about it." Because we pay for your asses. Even Cardinal Norberto Rivera Carrera, the archbishop of Mexico City, criticized U.S. immigration policy as ridiculous and defended Fox's comments, saying: "The declaration had nothing to do with racism. It is a reality in the United States that anyone can prove." Who? While Mexico has a few, isolated black communities, the population is dominated by descendants of Mexico's Spanish colonizers and its native Indians. Rap album sales are down in T.J.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Bar hopping with Bella (Story 1) 

True Story Warning: Very Explicit content So it's the end of Spring Break now, but I can't get it outta my mind just yet....That is, my first Sprink Break with Bella. As I shared with you a few weeks back, my 1st college Spring break was actually spent at home with my parents, with Bella living approx. 10 miles away. I was not yet 21, but was able to score a fake ID from a friend that sorta looked like me and who was indeed 21. My fake ID was actually a duplicate driver's license that he had just went to the DMV and said he lost, so I paid the $10 at the time to get one from him. There was a small English Pub that Bella had frequented with some of her older friends in the past, and I knew of it as well. We had made plans to meet one of her girlfriends down there, and to say I was a little apprehensive and scarred would be an under-statement. It would be one thing to get caught with a fake ID when I was away from home, but to be caught with one and then explain to my parents where I was on Spring Break didn't sound that appealing, but hell I was with Bella, and I wanted to be with her anyway. I agreed to go with her, and instead of driving up to her house and then turn around just to drive back in the opposite direction, she agreed to pick me up this time at my house since it was on the way to the bar. When she arrived, all I could think about was how pretty she looked. She was dressed in a dark black skirt, strapped heel shoes, and a nice loose like slick blouse. When she dolled up with doing her hair and make-up, she always looked good and older than she actually was. No wonder she turned the heads of so many men, and even then I wondered silently to myself how she ever decided she wanted to hook up with me. I was a lucky boy as some of my friends would tell me, and I knew it, but never bragged...I was lucky in this case. I'm not sure how I managed to actually sneak into the bar, because I am sure my ID was obvious to a more trained eye than those bouncers in our small college town. Maybe it was Bella...she was a regular, and if I was with her, I couldn't be that much trouble could I? We made our way to a small table tucked away in a dark corner. Her friends were not there yet, and so I bellied up to the bar and ordered us drinks. No beer, just cocktails. In the meantime Bella had dropped a few quarters into the jukebox and selected some tunes. We made small talk and played a little flirting game with each other. Totally innocent,....or was it? I often think Bella liked to toy with me. The kind of toying that bordered on teasing, and I was never quiet sure if I liked it or not. Part of me was jealous I suppose...knowing that she had a bit more experience than me, and if she ever decided to drop me....she make a quicker comeback on the dating scene than I would at the time. She could easily get a few numbers just by raising an eyebrow in a reckless and random fashion. Her friend, whom I can't remember her name showed up, and now I know why Bella knew this place so well.....her girlfriend was English, and had one of those sexy London accents. I can't remember her name, but she was blond and a party girl as well. She was kinda a bad influence on Bella....now I knew where she lerned to smoke (occasionally) and drink. She also brought this guy who I was never quite sure if she was dating or not. He was quiet, yet arrogant, and when he did speak, he came across as a 'tool', and right then I knew I never had to be around these people again. I clearly was the 'youngin' in this quartet, and felt somewhat inadequate as the stories went on and on, and I was just playing the part of the fly on the wall. The drinks continued to flow, and I knew Bella was getting slightly more than just buzzed now. She was borderline smashed, and she was getting a bit more daring. Although I was getting nervous about this situation deterorating, I was also keenly aware that Bella was trying to show me off to her friend and perhaps make her jealous. Bella was getting a little touchy-feely with me, and I can't say I was complaining too much.. Her hands were on my thighs and knees more often, and she snuck kisses on my neck and blew in my ear. I really wanted to leave now for not just the obvious reasons, but I had to be home soon too, and I really didn't want her to drink too much more. Finally it was time to leave, and it was pretty apparant that Bella was in no condition to drive. It took a little extra convincing on my part, but she finally forked over her keys. Something that Bella was usally adamant about...that no one would drive her car, but I guess she sensed that she also couldn't drive either, and the area was know to be full of cops. Once Bella was inside, I adjusted the seats to accomodate my legs, turned on the headlights and fired up the radio. A tape of New Order filled the air as I pulled out of the parking lot, listening to a giggly and somewhat loud Bella. Checking around for cops and scanning all the mirrors, it appeared to be clear. I hopped onto the freeway onramp and noticed Bella fiddling with her seatbelt. She was tugging at it and trying to find the latch. "Um...Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, I just got on the freeway." "Yes it is, and I'll show you why.", she cooed. With that, she undid her seat belt and turned her body as best she could to me. Her hands reached for my thighs and did a quick tease before she reached for my zipper and began to pull it down. OMG, was what I think was going to happen, actually going to happen? Yep..... Her right hand found it's way inside my jeans and reached for my stiffening cock and guided it out the front of my boxers. I think my bloood pressure just sky-rocketed as I gripped the steering wheel even tighter, took a few deep breaths and really tried to focus on the road. She held me gently within her grip and began a slow undulating massage with her right hand all the while just staring at me and snickering. "You like that?"....I nodded emphatically 'Yes', still with body tensing under her pleasurable hold on me. "Move your right hand for a sec." Bella said. As I tried to manuever it up a tad, she bent over and began to lick my rod very delicately. At first it tickled, and I feared I was going to lose my concentration on the road, but I never received 'highway head' before, and I'll be damned if I was going to screw this up. Afraid I may climax a bit prematuraly, I began to think of baseball scores and song lyrics and new stories of the day...a technique I used to rely on a lot in my in-experienced days. It would often stave off the inevitable for at least a few extra minutes, but sooner or later, they would always get the best of me and I couldn't hold back any longer. I caught myself moaning slightly, something I wouldn't normally do either, but with Bella, my groans just ended up fueling her desires and found this highly erotic for her I would learn later in our relationship. It seemed that as I began to moan this egged her on to be more agressive as her licks stopped and now she placed me entirely in her mouth. What a feeling. Warm and wet. Cool saliva. Suction. Her tongue. Her lips. Her hair cascading over my lap. The sight of her head moving slowly over my crotch...up and down...up and down. I would look down briefly to try and get a glimpse of what I could, only to remember I was still driving at high speed on the freeway and had to be on the lookout for others and more importantly cops. "Nate, do you wanna fuck me? I couldn't wait to do this." lick...lick...lick..."I'm sooo wet right now." This nasty talk directed my way of course only turned me on more. I looked over to my side and saw the position in which Bella was in to accomplish what she was doing to me. It almost appeared that she was on all fours, and the sight of her butt in the air with her skirt slowly creeping up was enough for me. I couldn't help but think how wet she might actually be, and there was nothing I could really do at 70MPH in the middle lane. My warning was not quick enough. I tried to mutter something....unintelligible I'm sure, but before the first utterance left my throat, I came....and came hard. Fearing that Bella may be mad and expecting the worst, to my surprise, she buckled down on pulsating member and formed a seal around the base of my cock. I tried to relax between spasms, but I could 'feel' every warm spurt I shot into her mouth and my eyes wanted to roll back into my head. Her tongue danced around my shaft, and I could feel the slickness of my own semen. "Mmmmm." is all I heard, and was pleasantly surprised my cumming met with her approval as she swallowed it all. After I was done and body began to relax, she continued to devour every last remnant before she pulled off and looked at me. My still hard member was glistening in the reflective light of outside and exposed to the cool air of the car. Bella's smile was from ear to ear. She reached back to the rear seat searching for something, and when she returned to the upright position, she was dabbing at her face with a towel and then began to wipe me off as well...the whole time I was driving. I was a bit quiet at first, not exactly sure how to react or what to say, and Bella was quiet too for a few seconds. "So, was it worth driving?" A grin began to form on my face, "Uh,...yes. That was....very...nice.....and unexpected. Sorry about the no-warning." "It's okay. I wanted to taste it all." (Did she just know how to push all the right buttons here or what?). "So, now that we did that, I expect some kind of return. Maybe tomorrow?" "Of course!", I exclaimed. I continued the drive back to my house, replaying the whole thing a half a dozen times in my head, and couldn't help but wonder what was going to be in store for our next night out. To be continued.....

Monday, May 09, 2005

I'm a sucker for quizes 

Musings Well, Kat sucked me into this one. I'm not sure why I like these silly diversions, but I do.....probably more so than any guy should actually. And, I'm quite pleased with the results on this one. I am an avid reader, more so than you would think...I actually average 1-2 novels a month, plus various magazines and articles. Though I never read this particluar book, I have read other material in this genre and quite familiar with the author:

You're Stranger in a Strange Land! by Robert Heinlein Most people look at you and think of you as a Martian, even though you were born on Earth. Silly Earthlings, er, people. Anyway, you've been telling people about free love and relaxing like it's some radical idea. Most of them want you to go back to the '60's (or Mars), but others are in your groove. Grok on! Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Must be a slow news day 

True story Casino Buys Spears' Alleged Pregnancy TestMay 4, 3:15 PM EST Online casino Golden Palace has spilled $5,001 for Britney Spears' alleged home pregnancy test. "It's hard to put a price on Britney Spears' urine," Golden Palace spokesman Drew Black told The Associated Press Wednesday. Golden Palace says it purchased the test from Ottawa radio station Hot 89.9, which insists the test was retrieved from the trash outside Spears' Los Angeles hotel room months ago. The station didn't leak news of the test until Spears and husband Kevin Federline revealed her pregnancy to the public last month. "We don't know for certain, of course," said Black. "Obviously, it's her alleged pregnancy test. I wasn't there when she took the test." Golden Palace saw some buzz potential in the baby-making analyzer. "When we saw this particular item was up for grabs, we knew it was something we wanted to have to add to the collection of oddities we've amassed over the past several months," said Black. Other off-the-wall items owned by Golden Palace include a sandwich resembling the Virgin Mary, a Doritos chip that looks like the Pope's hat and a haunted cane. Black said Golden Palace is looking into going on tour with the out-of-the-ordinary objects. Last month, the online casino paid $15,100 to a Connecticut woman to name her newborn GoldenPalace.com. Nate's Take: You know....I sit here dumbfounded on what makes news these days that I can't even really come up with a comment.


Musings/True Story Do you ever just feel that spark between you and someone...that something special that if you think about it long enough, you come to realize it's a little bit of sexual tension and innocent flirting. The first time we met, I wasn't 100% positive, but after yesterday, I'm pretty sure. There is a business opportunity for my company and another big name company who want to supply us some technical services which in the long run may be able to save us money. As these things go, we usually have round-table meetings between both parties which includes a bevy of my technical staff and colleagues, and then the vendor with all their salespeople and techno-weenies. Well, one of their techno-weenies is a pretty hot MILF who I thought the first time we met a few weeks back was giving me the eye, but I was never quite sure. She has to be in her late 30's or very early 40's. A little shorter than me, long blond hair, relatively fit, huge natural chest, a sun worshipper (as told by the tan skin, sun bleached hair, and a few sun wrinkles around the eyes). She has a few wild piercings too in her ears...that is they go beyond just regular ear-rings, but the kind in the cartlidge and mismatched. Her demeanor comes across as a stereotypical surfer girl and someone who just may like to party. Our small talk last time was somewhat guarded, yet exploratory. I did learn she had pubescent son, but no mention of a husband, boyfriend or wedding ring. She seemed to be a little interested in my gym activities asking me how long I lifted and what I like to do. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it was some innocent flirting, but still never positive if she crossed the line into real interest or not. Ah well....so is life. Then her company showed up again yesterday as a surprise and I was called to an impromptu meeting. Upon walking into the conference room, there she was....looking just as hot...just as playful. Upon seeing me and my arm in a sling her eyes told the story of "Ah...what happened?" and genuine concern...I was touched to say the least. She then patted the chair next to her and asked me to sit there, in front of both her colleagues and mine, and of course I did. The whole meeting was pretty standard bullshit as usual, as these things normally go. Takes 5 meetings just for CurryMan to even begin to see potential and I many times I learn not to take a pen and notepad with me because normally nothing ever comes of these. I found myself stealing glances at her all through the meeting, and I know we locked eyes more than once. Her nails were french manicured with pink tips. She wore sexy costume jewelry around her neck and wrist, and I could only hope and imagine she wore a belly ring that matched. Who knows...with those few piercings I did see, she may have some other hidden ones at well that I can only taste in the theatre of my mind. Her 1 size too small t-shirt accentuated the size of her breasts, and also showed off the muscularity of her arms. No...not body builder material, but definitely no flab or bat wings here. During the course of the meeting she wanted me to check on some technical stuff for her, and I just threw out that if she had time that she could accompany to our lab and work with me. She accepted! My heart jumped....uh, oh...this ain't good. Instantly I felt a twinge of guilt regarding April....I couldn't do that to her...but my mind raced at the possibilities of me and this vendor. The meeting continued and she received a cell call prompting her to leave for an emergency, work related thank God and not personal. She excused herself, and as she got out of her chair, I had a nice full on personal shot of her behind. Her khaki pants revealed a firm, tight, round, tasteful ass and the outline of a thong. Yes, my 40ish MILF was kicken' with the stylish underwear underneath. Now I also saw for the first time little black 'club style' boots. Seeing the whole package in front of me brought me back a few years to when I was constantly clubbing, and in a brief instant my mind swirled with all the late night antics we could be involved in: Making out, stripping each others clothes off at any of our places, long hot showers together, arms wrapped around each other at a party, staring at each other under the sky, sharing mixed cocktails or beers. I really want to hang out with her.....bad. I think though I was more enthralled with her mouth....she has such kissable lips and such a gorgeous face...anything from small pecks on the mouth to tonsil hockey would be okay with me. We are supposed to speak on the phone later today, and I can honestly say I feel like I have a schoolboy crush on her...and if I weren't attached right now, I'd try and make a move....fer sure. I mean, I still factor in I may be WAY OFF base when it comes to her, but I swear...I can just 'feel' something brewing just below the surface when we are in proximity to one another. Lord...Help me.

Shout Out to Joe 

Props to Joe in Michigan for helping me clear up a link status we've both been wondering about for a few days now. His Sherlock Holmes skills helped solved the puzzle of the missing of the disappearing doll.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Therapy and Bursting 

Musings Well, I have had 2 sessions of physical therapy under my belt and another one tomorrow. It hasn't been as bad as everyone had made it out to be. People were saying that I'd be sore and cursing and wanting aspirin and ice right afterwards....but in all honesty, it hasn't been that bad. In fact, after my 1st session I expressed my concern to the therapists and they said that was all 'hooey'. Yes, I said "Hooey". Yesterday, I saw stars once though. The therapist clamped down on the incision to help break down scar tissue, and I did have a little msit in my eyes and my body contracted. But overall, the guy was very happy with my progess so far. So much so in fact that he he thinks by next week, I can already cut down to two sessions a week instead of three. Nice, at $30 bucks a session ($90 a week), I wasn't too thrilled...I haven't even received the bill for my surgery yet. I'm going to the gym after work today to ride the bike and do some legs. I'm gonna try and do some right arm curling as well....Therapist still says it will be about 5 months before he thinks I can attempt bench pressing again. That makes me very sad, but I am determined to shave some time off of my recovery and astound them. So bursting.... Or should I say BURSTING. I haven't broken off me a piece with April in a few weeks now and I am a walking hormone. April said she's afraid she may 'break' something, but at the very least I was trying to suggest (nicely of course), that there are other things she can perform that doesn't require a lot of exertion on my part. But alas, I'm afraid I am reverting back to when I was 18. If anyone touches me down there...not even touch, maybe just graze I am gonan explode and make the neighbor pregnant. I swear, most likely a 30 second handjob would do the duty and April have't to wear a raincoat. I am super horny right now...so one thing that the injury has proven to me...I am still producing testosterone and paranormal levels :) Speaking of neighbors.....a new couple moved in across the street from me last week. Seem very nice and relatively young. It's their first house. I think he's in his last 20's, she in her mid 20's...recently married, no kids and my brief talks with them, they are party people. We've already tenatively planned on a party together where he brews the beer and I do the cooking. She's really skinny though...almost Calista Flockhart in proportions. She has dirty blond straight hair and looks pretty thin. She got a lot of sun freckles too, which I found odd only because she is soooo pale. Not really my type at all, but I have to share this. The other day they were outside and a few other neighbors were out too, and so the introductions began. A few beers started to flow and she siad that's she come right back...she had to change in her 'chore clothes' as her and her husband had a lot to unpack. So she returns a few minutes later in white dolphin shorts and a blue loose T-shirt. Okay, here's the thing, she opted to wear no bra when she returned to all of us outside, totally oblivious that she was, how do I say, standing at full attention for everyone to see. It's odd only because she is so skinny and really has no chest perse, but these two erasers were staring us all in the face. No, she wasn't advertising at all, but that image has now been ingrained in my head for the past week....and even though she doesn't attract me at all, that image has contributed to my overall randy feelings as of late. April is coming over later this evening and I am trying to think of a way I'm going to have her do my bidding so I can have some 'release'.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Vicoden (Part II) 

So my first evening after surgery and the next few subsequent nights had been extremely uncomfortable sleeping wise. Just getting in and out of bed was a feat in and of itself, and the pain despite the meds was noticeable. It's really amazing how simple tasks that you take for granted on a day to day basis are really affected when you lose a portion of your mobility. And that has nothing to say for all the other muscles that you use in concert that you really aren't aware of until you really need them. I generally sleep on my side, but found the first few days just to relieve pressure I had to lay on my back, and position a pillow just so under my left shoulder. I can be comfortable for a while, but I have a desire to turn...and realize you can't, and then you are awake.....staring at the ceiling, summoning the courage to prop yourself up and get out in the dark 'cause you gotta potty. Speaking of bathroom activities...You aren't supposed to get the bandages wet at all the first few days, meaning they don't want you to take a shower. Well, I don't care, I need a shower. I have enough dried iodine on me that part of me looked like a pumpkin, let alone sweat and natural oils. I enlisted the aid of April, and bless her heart she bathed me. I wish I could sit here and tell you that it was an erotic fantasy for me, or for her...but it ended up strictly business. Vicoden and pain and being somewhat miserable and a feeling of being vulnerable does nothing for the sex drive. She bathed me for the first two days and offered again on the third, but I told her I wanted to try on my own....my stubborn nature of trying not to be too dependant on anybody. I know she wanted to just help, but I took it upon myself to push it just a bit hoping to see what my limits are. The toughest part in the left armpit. For a few days, there was no water touching it at all, and you can imagine a lovely rash...like a bad diaper rash developing. Even today, putting on deoderant is a 5 minute task for one arm...because I can' lift it. I need my other arm to prop it onto something, and use my body weight to crouch down so that my arm raises just enough. But I think the worst thing is the side effects of Vicoden. Yes, it curbed the pain tremendously, but two other side effects really stuck out for me: 1) Itching. It seemed that after the first day of this wonder drug in my system, I needed to scratch every square inch of my body all the time. From my scalp to my toes, to Mr. Stick. Scratch...scratch...scratch...and of course with one arm you can't reach everywhere. Anything I could find that protruded from my house, I would end up in some Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon like stance to stop the itch. 2) Constipation. Oh sure, you drink enough water so you can pee every 1/2 hour it seems, but my day three I was kinda getting worried about the solid matter. I was eating fine by now, and I wasn't uncomfortable...that is to say no lower GI cramps, but I was mentally evealuating all the solid food that had went into me, and dare not show it's face again. By the evening of day three, I cut back on the Vicoden a bit...cutting down both the dosage and extending the time between pills. I had April go out and purchase me some laxatives as well. Kinda funny, you could normally set a watch by me, at least twice a day which I attribute to excersise and natural fiber I eat, but now we were on Poop Watch---2005. The laxative claimed to initiate a bowel movement in 8-12 hours, so start your watches. I think finally after 16 hours, I finally went to the restroom, and was relieved my colon was no longer being held hostage. Within the next few days my movements would still be far and few between and erratic, but now after a week, I am almost back to normal...thank God. So I took the remainder of the week off, and despite the docs directions I returned 1/2 day on last Tuesday. Sure some would say enjoy the free vacation, but I was going stir-crazy at home, so I convinced April to take me to and from work. By day 5 I decided no more Vicoden for me. I even amanaged to go to the gym last Friday and do a leg workout. Fearing I'd lose some of my upper body size, I did grab one dumbell and with my left arm in a sling and immobile, I did a few sets of right are bicep curls and incline presses. I was even able to do some triceps as well on the right arm. On top of some of the physical issues, I think the most maddening think is having everyone at work ask me "What happened?" about 10 times a day. I know they mean well, but it's because of this, I generally don't ask people how they are doing when they are injured unless they bring it up first. I assume they probably are asked 10 times a day too and learn to hate responding with the same story every 10 minutes as I do. The only thing beneficial right now that I'm really getting away with is wearing shorts and sandles as I really can't tie my shoes yet, and getting dressed is a project. Anyway, today is my 1st day of physical therapy. I have an appointment with the disciples of pain later today who will move my arm more so than the mere inch or two that I can move it. I fill ya in on that tomorrow.

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