Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Is it heartburn?.....No...It's CurryMan
(Our sponsor's once again would like to apologize for the delay in the latest 'Reunion' installment. Hopefully our regularly scheduled program will return next week)
Today, I have a knot in my chest. It's a very good thing I have the next 4 days off, otherwise my peers would have to remove any sharp or blunt objects within arms reach.
On top of the recent arguement with my cousin about her son's grades (BTW: The teacher explained it was my nephew's lack of effort (i.e. his fault) that caused his grades to lapse), a small intestinal ailment I was suffering from earlier this week......one of my biggest fears in recent months came to pass yesterday......an altercation with CurryMan.
Had a general departmental meeting yesterday in which many were in attendance. Already the meeting felt a little 'off' by the the sheer fact CurryMan was back and questioning people with a vengeance....and they he came to me. He literally dropped a small bombshell on me in the meeting which put hours upon hours of recent work efforts and negotiations I had been involved with in the crapper. Literally it was 180 degrees, John Kerry-esque, flip-flop from the direction he instructed me to go on in front of everyone just a few short weeks back.
Mind you, it has been a project that he has over-analyzed to death and beat like a dead horse over and over again. To the point one vendor of mine just flat out said he doesn't want to work with CurryMan anymore due to his rudeness and inability to ever make a coherent decision.
So basically, once again, I have to stop EVERYTHING and start over for the third time due to some whim that in the long run will still not solve our problem, yet HE wants to explore more options. If there was any more exploration done on this I may as well call him Magellan. So I wasn't going to take this lying down. Actually he was very rude to me about it yesterday and condescending in front of my peers....and no way was I gonna let him get away with it. So I called him out in front of everyone and punched holes in everything he has said and pointed out verbatim all his inconsistancies and re-directions in front of the whole group and more or less challenged him to refute my observations....
Yes, those were the sound of crickets as the room was deathly silent after our increasingly volume escalating banter. After our exchange, I just sat there fuming and the rest of the meeting seemed to go through the motions. I think CurryMan was in shock that I stood up to him. Once dissmissed, I headed back to my office and he avoided me the rest of the day.
Since then, 4 of my peers have come up to me and apologized for CurryMan, and more or less acted just as suprised as I was and was shocked at his blatant misuse of his power and title as 'manager'. Needless to say, I left work infurriated and even my gym workout suffered.
I went home, had a drink and was still stewing at 8pm. I called another manager at home and had a talk with him. The only good news is that I know I'm not crazy, as this manager told me that other employee's have expressed concerns about CurryMan this week as well...that I wasn't the first....and that upper management is aware of certain 'situations', that I need to just wait it out and see how things develop. Goodie for them, but that doesn't fix yesterday and his rude behaviour and comments towards me. He want's my respect, but can't/won't respect me in turn.
Wrong guy to fuck with. I pick and choose my battles, not only in the short run, but the long run as well and what is politically correct and I'd like to think I know where I stand in the eyes of my peers and other management. I know what a career means and how to further one. CurryMan is not going to steamroll me...I'm not some peon who is going to take his lumps and sit at his desk like a mindless automaton. You wanna try and push me in front of people...I say "Bring it on....you picked the wrong guy to try and push around. I much more connected than you think."
So I awoke at 4am this morning, and of course I'm still mad. I get to work, and yet another peer told me that she went to go to talk to someone else in management about the 'historic' meeting yesterday, and how she thought CurryMan was out of line, but didn't mention my name. It made me both feel good and lousy.....good that people seem to know he is out in left field and making questionable decisions and spending monies with no accountablity, but lousy that my name is at the forefront of the latest salvo of inter-departmental gossip and turmoil. I don't like being a part of these stupid petty squabbles at all, and I sure as hell don't get off on them. I'd like to avoid them like the plague, but sometimes I have to roll with the punches....not just take them.
I had one more talk with another manager today and realizes that something needs to be done, but no apparant resolution surfaced. Good thing I am taking the next few days off...I seriously need them to collect my wits about me. Been a lot of crap going on the last few days with Tylenol written across each one of them.
Couple hours left...and I'm gone till Monday.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Or lack thereof.
I truly did plan on continuing 'The Reunion' today, but it's hard to write erotica when your stomach is doing flips.
I'm not even sure what is going on. I felt fine last night. I did pretty much nothing this weekend either. I just did my Spring-Cleaning the last week of October. Basically re-arranged the garage, threw crap out. Vacuumed the house, dusted, trash, you name it. Floor boards to ceilings.
So I awoke to a pre-time change dawn with wave of nausea that subsided after a few minutes. Feeling something not quite right with my intestines, I chose not to have a cup 'o joe just yet, and I'm glad I didn't. I've already visited the porcelain throne twice and make some eventful sacrifices. I fear there is more to come soon.
I can't go home either. Monday is typically my busiest day, and already two of my peers have called in sick as well. Not to mention CurryMan will re-debut here shortly.....I just can't wait (sarcastically) for that moment.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Don't have much time today. Even with CurryMan out, it has been suprisingly busy....in a good way. Not busy because he's hovering over us and interupting our normal work day, but legitimate work issues.
And the rain doesn't help either. Many employee's are late today due to the bad storms we are having. Nothing amounting to a hurricane or a gail force, but the freeways have plenty of Sig alerts, and today traffic in my area was a good 25mph (normally 65+).
I was really suprised at the gym last night. I weighed in at 217lbs! That's down from a month ago where I was back up to about 225. I figure the amount of work lately, the cutting back on the booze, and some stress has helped out.
Speaking of the gym....
There's a trainer girl there (different gym from Corrie) who's in her late 20's or right around 30 and she's pretty hot. She doesn't wear any makeup, but has a natural beauty, and some surgical augmentations (i.e....she has a healthy pair of twins) and she's jewish. Not that this matter's in the least to me, but she wears a Star of David aroudn her neck. Anyway...killer bod. I've seen her work out a few times and her shirt has come up in back to expose an intricate tattoo in Hebrew letters. I had the courage to ask her about it, and it was her grandparents name's on her back encircling the astrological sign of gemini. Weird that she put the two together.
So yesterday she was working out next to me, and her tight shirt exposed her flat tummy and I now noticed another tattoo. It was some very sleek and modern art take on the tribal design. Very tasteful, and very SEXY. It was like an arrow thingy around her navel that tapered down or pointed towards her nether regions. I could not stop staring out of the corner of my eye, and the whole time I was more or less salivating on what was going on underneath her gym clothes. She is clearly a 8.5 in my book with no makeup, so I can just imagine what a little foundation, lip gloss, and eye shadow could do for her. It was actually getting embarrassing for me, 'cause I was getting aroused (if you know what I mean) whil sitting on the Nautlis machine next to her. For a minute I was glad I was sitting down no doubt, as my gym shorts are pretty baggy. Had a lot of fantasies about her alone in that gym, in the showers, etc. Okay, I really need to either take care of myself, or get it on. April is out of town on business and I'm being a good boy, but damn, I am tempted at the sight of a gorgeous woman. Especially one that is physically fit. I like girls with a little tone and muscle.
Well, I have some lame meeting I gotta go to now....like 2 hours worth on nonsense, so I gotta bail for now. Got to share one of my co-workers story about her 14 year old daughter and every other problem under the sun. She's nice but drives me crazy. She could talk to me like an hour everyday, non-stop, about her own personal life.
Watched 'The Biggest Loser' last night. Loved it.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Sandy, The Reunion (Part III)
True Story (Work be damned)
Sitting in the fraternity house foyer I scanned the outside horizon for approaching cars. After many false alarms, finally that recognizeable little grey Honda coupe pulled up in the driveway. A sense of exhilaration washed over me yet again. Four months had gone by and our last physical contact was that of a hug and the same car driving away from me.
Well.....here goes nothing, I thought. Before Sandy even got out of her car, I was already headed for the door, baggage in hand.
I stepped into the early evening air, cool as it was, and made my way to her car. The driver side door opened as I approached and Sandy stepped out and faced me.
Time slowed and I could feel the muscles in my cheeks work as a smile widened across my face. And it wasn't just my smile that widened, but my eyes. Sandy was the same as I last remember her, yet better. She had cut her her dirty blond hair shorter than I last remembered. It now hung slightly lower than her jawline, where I remembered it as shoulder length before. She also wore her glasses (she needs them to drive), the same one's I used to tease her about looking like a librarian,......the same ones that I always found geekishly sexy. She wore her customary tight blue jeans that she used to tell me she got in the "girls" section because she was so petite. Her brown leather cowgirl boots were just as worn as ever. Her blouse was a black ribbed mock turtleneck, and the icing on the cake....her brown leather bomber jacket that I always loved on her. How many times I had my arms inside that jacket as we faced each other kissing on all those dates and parties we attended. A small smile crept across her face as well as rounded the back end of her car to greet me with open arms.
We hugged and it felt very good. We parted just briefly, and I was yet taken aback by yet another suprise. Sandy had applied the very slightest of baby blue eye shadow and pink lip gloss. It was faint, but it was there. Being the rural gal that I had known her to be, she only wore make-up on special occassions....like when we had a formal dance, or attended a wedding once. So I knew for her to put on lip gloss and eye shadow, that she felt this night was important as well. Was it possible that she was having similar thoughts that I had been feeling for the last few weeks? Was she perhaps entertaining salacious thoughts as well? Trying to recapture a night of romance that may have been missing in her life as well over time?
After our intial greet, Sandy urged me to place my case in the back seat and to get in the car for our dinner was next...
Sartino's was one of the better restaurants in the area, and by it's name you could guess it was Italian. Not many of us could afford it on a regular basis back when we were in college and on a budget, but it was a popular place for special dates and occasions. Many of us would save our money back in the day, hoping that we would be lucky enough some time to take a date there. The atmosphere was always cozy, eating in a rich dark wood environment with dimmed lights and soft dinner jazz music. The breadsticks were always made fresh, and the pasta and sauces were always rich and sinful.
We sat across from each other at our intimate table, trying our best to avoid the awkward small talk. But admitedly it was a little difficult at first. Where does one start with a person you used to sleep with that thinsg had so rapidly changed, and what was to bevome of this evening and our futures? I don't think either of us really thought to much into the future about this, but most likely just entertained the idea of seeing each other after all this time.
Talk turned from current events in each of our lives and what we were currently doing, to fond memories of the last couple of years.
Dang she looked cute. Her glasses were off into her purse, and the dim light gleamed off her moist lips as she spoke to me. Between sentences, we exchanged smirks and smiles and harmless flirtation. After our hour long dinner, it was apparant we were relaxed and it felt comfortable again to be in each others company. I insisted I pay the bill, and while our server was running my card, Sandy inquired...
S: So, the night is still young. What would you like to do first?
N: I really don't care so much. Whatever is fine and I'm sure it will be fun. I'm just excited to be here and everything to me at this point would be just as great.
S: (smiles) Okay. How 'bout we go down to Oakvale, grab a drink or two, then make our way to the club? We can dance a bit...
N: Sounds great.
We removed ourselves from the table and I helped her with her jacket, and made our way outside. As I opened the door for her, I found myself placing my hand on her back, guiding her out, and she didn't reject or flinch. As I followed up behind her, I grabbed for her hand, and for the first time in over four months, we were holding hands.
We continued this way back to her car, and the whole way it seemed unusually quiet, as if we were both actively searching our brains on what this meant to the other person, and how far was this going to go.
Her car started up and we pulled out of the lot and made our way to the highway south. The sun had already set, but it wasn't dark quite yet. The 10 mile drive south was nice, sharing more jokes and opening up to each other as Oakvale came into view.
We visited one of our old haunts and chased back a few beers. Our flirtations increased as did our blood alchol content. Perhaps an hour had gone by, maybe more and we were both lubricated enough to go dancing. Our luck was that the club was just across the street.
Again, we made our way to the door and held hands as we walked down the street.
To be continued.....
Interlude- - Catching up
I know, I know....I'm a tad behind on part III, and I promise to get to it hopefully later today. But things have been extremely
busy for me on the work and home front. As a matter of fact, I think I've participated in more meetings this week, than I have the last 2 months combined. Yesterday alone I was with a vendor all afternoon....much longer than I would have liked, but when we are talking close to a $100K project, my ass is on the line to make sure all the "i's" are dotted and "t's" crossed.
With that being said, my metabolism has been kicked up a notch too. It's as if this past week I am requiring less sleep than normal, having good gym workouts, and getting shit done! I was up at 5am this morning, and at Starbuck's by 6 gettin' my coffee, got to work early and just pluggin' away at tasks that I've been neglecting this past week.
Notables this week:
- CurryMan is out again all week next week. Yay. The plebes secretly rejoice and do the dance of freedom when he's not about. Next week should be stellar. In a way, though I am learning to despise him more and more as an obstacle instead of a boon to our career's, I feel sorry for him. He's so clueless on how little people respect him right now and wished he were replaced.
- Signed a contract with yet another technical vendor that will hopefully save my company upwards of $5K a month with better services....if they deliver on what they sold me. That may just work out positive for me down the road.....unless CurryMan takes the credit. I wouldn't put it past him, so I save everything in my own secret files. He has already managed to irritate a few vendors I interface with, and they have let me known that. Not good.
- What's wrong with men going to the urinal? Why must I stare at a pool of urine all about the floor in front of them? Damn, I feel sorry for their wives if they choose to clean the restrooms at home. I'm embarrassed for them.
- Look like Paris Hilton possibly has a 3rd, yes THIRD, x-rated tape with yet another guy that is rumored to be published soon.
- Bubba from Survivor deserved to be voted off Can't believe doofus blatantly signaled his former team mate Chris last night and thought that that would go un-noticed. Still not into it as much as last time around. The cast is lacking strong personalities.
- Apprentice was 'okay'. I like Raj...Funny man, funny bow-tie....Look at the world from a different angle. Looking forward to 'The Biggest Loser' on NBC.
- My cousin is now 'speaking' with me again, but is still out to lunch when it comes to her sons grades. I'm not getting involved anymore...though it may kill me to stay silent.
- Started an erotic dream last night with April. I thought we were gonna do it, but in the dream, she turned me down. Said she was too tired and not in the mood. Ack.
- Got HDTV. God, why did I wait as long as I did? Night and day difference. Now I may need Tivo as well. I splurged on myself, I've been doing very well with managing my finances lately. Consolidating, reducing debt, more spend-thrifty, taking a more active roll in investments and it's starting to show.
- Feel as if I've been neglecting some of my friends lately. More due to my work schedule than anything else, so I've been making calls to them while I drive between sites, at the very least leaving a message just to say 'Hi'.
- Will probably rent 'The Day After Tomorrow', or 'Punisher' tonight. April is supposedly coming over. Seems like it's been awhile since we played together.
- Supposed to get rain this weekend sometime. Doesn't look like it now though.
- Watched the debate on Wed. Very dissapointed with both candidates. Seriously. I was actually very upset with Bush's repsonse to the question regarding our southern border. What a croc of shit. More secure than it was 4 years ago? Tell that to my friends on ICE who watch the borders and tell me how many illegals cross, and they can't do anything about it. Bush is in major denial and Kerry is worse....he want's to give them even more amnesty than Bush's dumb plan. There's part of your deficit right there why our healthcare system and social security and other services are in shambles...we keep paying for everyone else who isn't here legally. I suppose my taxes will go up eventually to pay for Juan and Rosita because Vicente Fox won't do a damn thing for his country knowing that we will evetually pay. Yeah, I guess you can say I'm bitter about that.
Update: 11:20am - Slammed!!! I can't even leave my desk right now. This has to be the busiest Friday in ages.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Sandy, The Reunion (Part II- short entry)
When we stepped off the plane, a quick stretch of the legs and trip to baggage claim afforded us a few brief moments of waxing nostalgia. Here we were,.....again,......even if it has only been a few short months. We felt as if we were the big guys on campus,...the alumni...the respected....we came and spent 4-5 years here and had graduated.
Now having a meaningful job on the other hand was an entirely different story. Little did they know the real world was a lot tougher than anticpated.
Outside the airport my 'brothers' and I were greeted by the fraternity welcoming committee....a few guys who we had left behind that were now juniors and seniors, cigarettes dangling from their mouths, appearing as they had just awoken. Did I ever look this dishoveled? I'd like to think not.
A few 'atta-boys', hugs, and handshakes and smiles were exchanged and we all piled into the car. The 15 minutes drive was raucous. They spoke of the planned party, and of rush week. We looked back on old events and they promised to hold up our traditions even better this time around.
Walking back into the fraternity house was a special moment for me. Memories flooded back of all the craziness that transpired within these walls. How many cops had knocked on these doors at 2am, how many girlfriends and one night stands had visited the various bedrooms, how many BBQ's had taken place on the deck, how many clean-up patrols of cigarette butts and empty bottles we had all picked up on a Sunday morning. But more importantly were the memories of all the friends I had made over the years, and I realized just how bad I missed them all.
I walked into what was once my bedroom, just 5 months earlier. One of my friends I was close to had taken it over after I had left, and though the decorations may be different, the feelings weren't. I instantly thought of Sandy. The memory of my 22nd birthday with her had happened in this room....one of the few times she actually suprised me and let herself go to show me a good time (that's another story).
Over the next few hours, both new and old members had sauntered through the front door. More handshakes and cold beers were passed about, but everyone was still under control, for 'the party' wasn't until Saturday evening, and still being a school night, many of the guys had books to study, or had planned a trip to the Library. All homework had planned to be done by tomorrow, for beginning Friday the whole chapter would be here after classes to start decorating, moving furniture, buying supplies, beer and liquor.
The phone rang.
One of the brothers picked it up. "Yeah, he's here, lemme get him".......pause......"Nate, phone call."
Lifting myself off the couch with a beer in one hand, I headed off to the kitchen grabbing the phone from the outstrecthed hand of one of my brother's who looked at me with a shit-eating grin on face.
He whispered as I lifted the receiver to my ear: "You dawg. Un-believable....you've only been here two hours and already Sandy's on the phone." He left shaking his head, a smile of bemusement and eye-rolling was the last thing I saw.
S: Hey there stranger. How's everything?
N: Good. Nice. Good to be back and just look around. Just having a beer, catching up.
S: Mmmm, I see. Well, we're still planned on dinner right?
N: Uh, yeah. Been thinking about it the last few days.
S: Good. Me too. By the way....(pause)....where you staying for the weekend?
N: Well, I figure here. Crashing on the couch I guess, or the guys and I will get a motel room if things get too crazy.
S: No. Keep your stuff packed. I'll pick you up at the fraternity house in about two hours. You're staying with me. Okay?
N: Uh....sure. No, I mean, great....I just gotta tell the guys.
S: Okay. I'll see you in a bit. Wear something nice...We're going south and then we're going dancing like old times.
An internal grin of my own was forming. The prospects for this evening shot up exponentially, and I wanted to make sure that when Sandy saw me, that the 5 months away from each other would show me off in a good light. I'd take extra care in shaving tonight and doing my hair. A little extra cologne wouldn't hurt either.
I finished my beer, made a little more small talk with my buds, and headed for the shower.
To be continued....
Friday, October 08, 2004
Sandy, The Reunion (Part I)
When our senior year of college was coming to a close, there was an unspoken topic between Sandy and I. We tried to make the best out of our last weeks, and our relationship was pretty serious, but we both avoided 'the talk' for as long as we could, otherwise discussing finals, study groups, etc.
The base of the matter was that I was a city boy who missed his home and the amenities of city life, and she was a rural/country girl who loved her small community and a simpler way of life.
The 'talk' eventually happened and we both handled it very suprisingly mature with no real tears or complications. I think we both new our respective answers and stances before we agreed to talk. I was going back to my home, the city. She was going to stay where she was and pursue her artwork and graphic design with a small local company. I think we both asked each other, half-heartedly if one or the other would relocate, and the answer was a simple no.
The day before I left, my car was already packed, and it was going to be a long drive the next day....14 hours to be exact. Sandy pulled up in front of my apartment around dusk as I was just placing the last few boxes in my back seat. I took a break to sit down on the brick wall, and she joined me as we watched the sun set, both fighting back certain emotions.
Our relationship took a very strange 180 degree turn during the next 5 minutes. Where we were boyfriend and girlfriend and lovers for the most part of the last year plus, in one small compact frame of time, our relationship was over, and we were 'just friends'. It wasn't her, it wasn't me....it was just decided that a long distance relationship would never work between us, and neither one of us really wanted to try. We were the proverbial 'star crossed lovers' whose ships were now about to sail in opposite directions, and there was really nothing to keep us in the same port (yeah, cheesy analogy....still waiting for the coffee to kick in).
In the end, and I remember distinctly even then how odd it was, we gave each other a stong hug....with no last kiss. We were 'friends' now, and 'friends' didn't kiss each other like that...we had to much respect for ourselves and each other for one last emotional display, let alone fuck.
When our embrace finally parted, she turned and walked to her car and I just stood there watching....just like you would see in a sad moment in a movie...the setting and mood was like a Hollywood production. Her Honda fired up, brake lights released, and her car got smaller on the horizon. I stood there for an additional 30 seconds or so, and cleared my head. It was over. I turned to my apartment, I had one or two more boxes left to pack.
I had settled back at home, living with my parents, for I had no job. My first few weeks of post college life was both very exciting and very depressing. Exciting that I was home, back in my element and seeing my friends, going out and re-experiencing the 'club-life'. Depressing in the sense I had no job despite 100 resumes and 2 degrees from college, very little money, living with my parents, and no girlfriend.
Almost 2 months had passed before I heard from Sandy. It was a simple e-mail, not even a phone call. The email itself was pretty generic, more of a "Hi, how are you?" instead of "I miss you Nate and I need you in my bed waking next to me." My feelings in seeing that e-mail were surprisingly confusing. A rush of adrenaline and butterflies mixed with guilt and stunned silence. What do I say? Do I respond? Why is she writing me now? Is there a hidden meaning here somewhere? I had been sex and girlfriend free for almost 3 months now. A few dates here and there, but nothing that ever warranted a second date or any real interest on my part.
It took me a day to respond, but I did, and I kept my response cordial and left the door open for future contact. I said she can call me when she had time, and it would be a few more weeks, but she eventually did and we spoke on the phone for brief snippets of time here and there.....always an underlying feeling that we both wanted to say something more, about us...but it didn't really happen at first.
She had no new boyfriend either (and oddly I was pleased with knowing that) and found a part time job which really wasn't what she wanted either, but had to pay the bills somehow.
We were moving on, but felt we had some un-finished business that may need to be settled.
4 months had gone by now, and my college was back in session by a few weeks. Some of my old pals and I had kept pretty good contact with each other post graduation, and we still had plenty of friends back there.
It was RUSH week for the Greek system, and I was a frat boy. I got the call...."We're having a party, and would like as many alumni as possible to attend. Can you go Brother Nate?"...
Hmmm, no real job, no commitments on any calendar, feelings of missing my friends...."Hell, Yeah!"
A few of my college buddies and I arranged to meet at the airport, and we were on a 4 day furlough back to college and.
I called Sandy....
"Hiya Sandy.......Guess what?"
"Me and the guys are coming up there next week. Frat party and reunion. If you are around and can make the time, I'd like you to come to the party....That is, if it isn't too weird for you ?"
Sandy: ".....(pause).....I'd like to take you to dinner and dancing Thursday night. I got a new pair of jeans I'd like wear out."
A smile creeped across my face after we hung up. Of course I'd be emailing her more information when the details were all worked out. But I'd be going back up, and I'd have Sandy to myself one night....
To be honest, I really had no concept what was going to happen. We were 'just friends' now, but neither of us were dating seriously, and we were moving our lives in different directions. I was going up with my buds....How much time would Sandy make for me, and how much could I make for her?
I had to go and get plane ticket information and get ready for next week...
To be continued....
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
I'm so friggen tired right now.
2.5 hours of sleep I figure after a long day yesterday and a good workout and emotional night with my cousin.
I can barely concentrate. I'm asking people to repeat things to me.
Everything is funny right now. I'm becomming hysterically loopy for no reason. I'm laughing at business cars on my desk....seriously....or apparantly not.
Need to bail early for bed.
Politics, Grades, Insomnia, Action
Well, being the somewhat the political junkie I am, I was really looking forward to the Vice-Presidential debates yesterday. Sickening, I know.
So my thoughts: Not much really. Cheney came across better than Bush did, sounding more stoic and seasoned, and even more intelligent. However, I think there were plenty of missed opportunities and went back to the pool of using the already tired "Wrong place, Wrong time, Wrong War" snippet that Bush did last week. On the otehr hand, Edwards looked good and seemed just as calm and collective, and while his answers may have seemed a little weak, he very rarely repeated himself and made some valid points. Overall I was once again disapointed with the RNC and the over emphasis of Middle Eastern affairs. What about here?...Not that I give Kerry/Edwards any glimmer of hope of doing anything of domestic importance that isn't giving away money to unfounded and unrealized programs here. Are there any 3rd party contenders?
Many moons ago I wrote an entry about my little second-cousin and a little bit of disapointment I had in him around Christmas and his lack of respect to me and other family members. At 12 years old, he is experiencing the 'me' years and his parents (my first cousin) isn't really laying down the law.
My cousin is divorced, and I'm pretty close to her. I have kept her outta this blog for a reason, but last night we got into it and it really upset me. My little cousin brought home shitty grades. Very shitty grades, and my first cousin wanted to share this with me for....what...guidance? I flat old told her that her and her ex have done nothing. That my little cousin knew he had bad grades and tried to skate by, and they were just as guilty for not ever being involved in his schooling. Never attended a teacher-parent conference, never an open house, never called the school once to inquire about his grades. Just assumed that if he said things were okay in school, they were. Geezuz, when do you believe a 12 year old boy that his grades are fine when he never brings home books or is never seen studying. So needless to say, my 1st-cousin proceded to go off on me blaming her ex, the teachers and me for not understanding.
The phone call did not end up on good terms.
Hence my insomnia. I was really worked up about this, as I would like to think I am my little cousins mentor in certain areas of his life. I have asked him repeatedly about school and all I ever get back is "It's good. Things are fine."
So I couldn't help replay the conversation in my head at least a dozen times, astounded at the pure lack of conviction and attitude towards very sub-par grades, and the constant defending of her ex, and every other excuse under the sun.
I figure I got 2.5 hours of sleep last night becuase I was so upset with all three of them, and I'm not sure why I should care. Maybe I know in my heart I could do a better job as I already knwo I play a more active role in his life that they do at times.
Which leads me to Action.
Or lack thereof lately. I really need to get me some. A poor excuse maybe to relax my mind or get me to think about other things, but I'm overly uptight, and am feeling overly aggressive. I could really use a good animalistic, hedonistic evening.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I love this picture
So, as you can see, I signed up for Hello
picture posting. This is a great picture that reminded me of a symposium that is actually taking place at my job site today. We are hosting a technical seminar with a very large company, whose name I cannot post, because they are a BIG and well known corporation.
Anyway, most of these guys are from the mid-west, and boy, I have never seen such a collection of beer guts this side of an Irish sobriety parade. That's what I guess home cooking, fried pork rinds, Schlitz beer and country fried steak will do to you. But my lord, it's a good thing these guys are in the interior of our country, for I fear if our borders were ever invaded, these guys would be winded by the time they got to the armory.
BTW: No pics of me anytime soon.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Man, I feel kinda guilty I've neglected any entries for a few days now. It has been super-busy at work since CurryMan came back. Also I've had a boatload of vendor meetings, meeting at least one or two a day the past few days for some major upgrades we will be doing with our infra-structure. The only nice thing about this at all is the occasional free meal, like today were I got a very scrumptious lunch, albeit a bit late.
Just to catch everyone up on a few things and in no particular order:
- Watching the new Survivor...a little early still for me to start taking a liking or disliking to any particular person. Perhaps juts a few too many people right now for me to keep track of, or perhaps they just come across as mediocre people and not any one person noteworthy.
- April had a very suprise infection last week which kept her on anti-biotics and home from work for most of the week. I tried to baby her a few times, and I hope its the medicine and fatigue, but damn, she has been overly cranky where I just bite my tongue...but it's starting to piss me off...crappy attitude when I am trying to help her.
- April also told me she's gonna try and quit smokig...again...for the 50th time. Right.
- Been having a few issues with insomnia myself again lately....making me a little crabby as well.
- Had a guys day out with two of my buddies on Saturday. We went to a micro-brew festival aboyt an hour a way, but my friend who drove us there got lost on the way up, so it was closer to 2 hours to get there. It wasn't really what I expected. Beers were $2.25 each for like a 7-ounce taste. There was no shade and no real seating anywhere either. So sunscreen and sunglasses made it tolerable. You'd think there would be a lot of cute girls, but I say NAY... Ugh, a lot of trash from all over. There were suprisingly a few cute girls, but most just had way to many obnoxious tattoo's, way outta shape, or just plain dressed up from the Salvation Army. Boo.
- My grandmother isn't doing to well. The family moved her into a nursing home, which I fear will be permanent....It was only supposed to be a temporary thing, but looks like things are changing. I feel bad becuase she lives 2 times zones away....across the county.
- Wasn't really impressed with Bush this last debate.
- Mom and I are getting a long better.
- Changed gyms for a few weeks to avoid Corrie.....she was pressuring me too much for private lessons...way to expensive.
- Pectoral muscle feels good, and I'm starting to lift heavy again...but cautious.
- Been reading a lot lately at home, late at night since I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm finally knocking some books off my 'read' list.
- Thinking about selling my house and upgrading to a larger home in the area. Already met with an agent to 'discuss' things.
- Watched The Empire Strikes Back the other day. Re-Mastered soundtrack on surround sound rocks! WHOO----6.1 Dolby Digital. Vader is in my living room!
- Found some compromising ex-girlfriend pics the other day while doing some cleaning. Forgot about those. Mixed blessing---Hot pictures---painful memories. I wonder if I can get April to do some posing for me? She doesn't really like lingerie...at least sexy lingerie that I like, so to try and bring a camera into the mix may be pushing it. LOL. I have a feeling some of my readers would like to pose under the right circumstances, and if we were dating seriously (not casually) and I kep them between you and I. I find that very enticing and very sexual...Don't have to be X-rated per-se, but provocative boudoir shots...Nice!!
- Sorta flirted with a vendor of mine. Her name is Annie...a coupel of years younger than me. Wasn't wearing any engagement or wedding ring. Cute and perky California blonde surfer girl who drives a new BMW. I caught her looking at me a few times during a large meeting, and I looked back. 5'5"?, straight blond hair, hazel eyes, very light tan, nice skin, no make-up, unusually pink in color and soft looking lips. Gorgeous smile. Large, but not overly so sweater puppies. Today she wore this sheer mock-turtleneck sweater with a navy blue skin tight blouse underneath. She looked innocently naughty. Kinda weird...one moment I felt a vibe, the next I didn't....maybe I'm reading more into an innocent look than I should be.
- Figure I need to queue up some more true-stories....been having notion myself of re-living in my head some of my dating scenarios...so hopefully some of you will enjoy, while others may shy away.
- I'm rambling now, so I'll stop.