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Monday, September 27, 2004

Erotic Dream 

Dream/Graphic Content I don't get too many erotic dreams in general. Maybe moreso when I was younger, or they seem to come in waves, but never really on a consistant basis. So I was quite pleased with the dream I had last night, albeit it came up short in completion. I think dreams are definetly parts of the subconcious mind at work: a blending of what your id, ego, and super-ego want/desire as they are blended with real life events. Though I awoke with a hard-on and frustrated, I couldn't help but wonder in the quiet of my home how much of my dream were true desires and feeling based upon recent events. Before I get into the nitty-gritty details, a little set up is in order, and like most dreams they warp the known reality with wishful thinking and/or fears. I was living in what was 'my' house, but wasn't the real house I live in today. There were some changes afoot as this time around I had 2 male roommates, though I really couldn't tell you much about them. That is what their names were, what they looked like, etc. I just know we were switching rooms about because I had the sense that a femal very similar (though not) to April. In the back of my mind I knew this person had moved out of my life, maybe somewhat reluctant on both our behalfs, but there was something missing in our relationship beyond a very stale physical life. I would further say that I sensed that this person had developed a very moody and not as pleasant discernment towards me and life in general as of late. As if she were constantly biting peoples heads off, making snotty remarks, and generally being ruder than need be to just about everyone including me. So I guess I had had it, and was happy this person was moving out and it relieved a great amount of personal stress and tension from, though deep down inside there was a feeling of loss and sadness that perhaps a true love had indeed left, but it was their recent behavioral changes that deemed this decision. Now, not in my dream, but in real life...I'll say sometimes I feel that way towards April. She can be a very good person, but lately she has a mood shift in the opposite in which I like. She has been a little more on the 'griefing' side towards me, and I honestly think most of it is not warranted. I really do try, but once again, I don't like the feeling that people can talk to me anyway they want because they are having a bad day. Leave your issues at your house, don't bring them to mine and expect me to be the cutesy, loving boy when you're being bitchy. At least be bitchy for a reason, that I can cope with and understand, but being a 'bitch' because you woke up on teh wrong side of the bed irks me after a few days.... So I think this person in my dream may have represented April and my pent up frustration with her both on the sexual front and normal everyday conversation front. So back to the dream... Even though I had this sense of loss and sadness distant in the back of my head, my 'dream-self' had met someone very exciting. Exciting in the sense it felt like a new love, like a first date you had in high-school, were the chase in itself was exhilirating. The new girl was very petite, brunette, and light on the makeup. She had a somewhat Tom-boyish athletic build, yet still feminine. Her chest was small and perky. Her hair was feathered back and somewhat of an older style. When I woke up, the first thing I thought of was a younger, slightly more girlish version of Leather/Pinky Tuscadero from Happy Days...the chick The Fonz hung with here and there. So we were standing in 'our' new bedroom and I recall a lot of white linens, and a big cotton filled white comfortor on a 4 poset unfinished pine bed frame. Two classic windows adorned either side of the headboard, open, a breeze allowing for the sheer white silky drapes to dance about. It was moving day, as my roommates had already shuffled about into their new rooms, and me and my new gal were just finishing up re-arranging stuff in our room. She wore grey cotton draw string sweat shorts that rested nicely on her slender hips. Her top was a forest/eart green ribbed tanktop, a bit tight, yet low cut in the front to show a little cleavage. She wore no jewelry or shoes, or socks. I recall wiping the back of her wrist across her forehead as someone would do when they are tired and wiping the sweat from their brow. It was quiet and our eyes locked gazes. It was undertsod between us we were just about done here, we were tired, and incredibly attracted to each other right now at this one moment. A slight smile formed across her mouth, and her eyes became intense. I noted how quiet it was in our room, and how sexy she looked in her 'moving' outfit. I find that a major turn-on even in my real-life....girls that are in their work clothes and a tiny bit sweaty. I'm not sure how this happened next, but we were no longer standing on the floor, but facing each other on the bed on our knees. We kissed passionatly and playfully until she threw her head back, shaking out her hair and letting out a slight sigh. With my left hand, I tugged at her tanktop where her right arm appeared and pulled the fabric towards teh center of her chest exposing a perky naked breast. I greedily placed it in my mouth for a second and sucked away. Then I followed this up the same way with the left, until both nipples were erect and she was arching her pelvis towards me (still dressed mind you). Then as it happens in dreams, things appear out of nowhere.....In my right hand was a small trowel, and in my right was a round carton of Duncan Hines chocolate frosting. Using the tip of the trowel, I dipped it in the frosting like a puddy-knife to spackle, then applied a very small amount to each nipple, all the while she just stared at me lustfully. It was so realistic, down to the vertical ribs in the tank tops fabric. I placed the trowel down next to me and stared at the sugary peaks just about to taste them when....I WOKE UP!!! Damn! Of course I woke up just when it was getting good, and here I lay in my bed needing a cold shower. I mulled this over for the past day wondering a lot of things: 1) Why Leather/Pinky Tuscadero wannabe? Where was April? Why did I have roommates? Why was my room all in white? Where did the chocolate and trowel idea come from....mind you, I'd like to try it now :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BTW: April has been sick with the flu/cold for a few days now so I've kept my distance at her request, but my senses have been assaulted otherwise with images and thoughts of erotica. I've been a very good boy for the most part lately, but the urges as of late have been very intense on my side. I find that video games are pretty much the only thing keeping me sane right now. She also asked me to get some information for her on hypno-therapy. Huh? Where did that come from? I didn't ask her what it was for, but I think I may be able to make an educated guess: her smoking. I know for a fact that her friends and family have been giving her a hard time about it lately, with me saying nothing. I know she knows it's bad, but she lacks the ultimate willpower. I wonder how much it costs? I'd be willing to help her out with teh money if it means she can quit, dating her or not.

HUSTLER, Gerber Babies, Presedential debates. 

Musings/Commentary Yeah, I agree....What the H-E-double hockey sticks is up with that title? Well a few things I observed over the weekend, and hopefully not my only entry today. HUSTLER: Yesterday I had brunch with some friends in not the slickest part of town, and as we were waiting to be seated out in the lobby, SHE was leaving with her boyfriend. Yes, I figure she herself was hovering somewhere around 30, give or take a few years because the sunglasses were hiding all the details, but not ALL the details. She wore hip-hugger faded jeans that exposed the belly button and the the small of her back. Did I ever mention I also like the look of the small of the back on women? I find it sexy, and hers was sexy especially with that little tattoo there as well. Her hair was dirty blond, shoulder length. Her skin was a tan. But here's the kicker: she wore a faded hot-pink t-shirt that was probably washed 100 times too many...so much so that the fabric was almost sheer, like she had had that shirt for the past 10 years. In bold letters emblazened across her chest was the word HUSTLER (like the magazine). If that wasn't enough for a after church type restaurant, it had to be the fact she wore no bra what-so-ever, and didn't leave much to the imagination on her 'natural' children. But she tamed her children by putting in large nipple rings that stood out like a pea in the princess'es bed. I think just about everybody turned to view, old grannies included. While she was indeed covered up, it did look sorta trashy, in the "I just filmed an episode of COPS" type of way, but she was confident with her up tall, which scored points with me, and in a way I was envious of her. I was envious that I could picture her sex life a little more exciting than mine at the current time. Oh, did I mention her boyfriend looked like he was an ex-con who just had his 1st chicken-fried steak meal in 5 years? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gerber: Speaking of tattoo's, I saw another wierd one that I'd put up there with that chemical breakdown one I saw at the gym a few months back. I saw a young lady (not really my type), with a tattoo of the Gerber baby the size of a softball on her right shoulder blade. Yes, the Gerber baby...the one in all the print advertisements and labels. I'd really like to know how that decision came across. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Debates: Finally, the 1st round of Presidential debates are this Thursday. I suppose I'll watch, not sure why....though I won't vote for Kerry, I'm not really to impressed with Bush either. This border/immigration thing (or lack of) has my butt puckered and I'm really saddened that some domestic issues aren't ringing bells for him yet. Wonder if it'll upset my viewing of 'Joey'?

Friday, September 24, 2004

Big Brother 5 finale 

Musings/sugar induced rant Yeah, it's a few days late, but I was finally able to watch the finale of BB5 last night, and will watch the Amazing Race finale over the weekend. I will probably Geek out though tonight when I break out Star Wars. My buddy at work just watched it Empire Strikes Back last night, and said the new re-mixed sound is awesome. Anyway, I can't really say the majority of the cast had anything important to say. Even gay Will seemed to have faded in the background by the end of the end of the show, and we all now know Drew one. I sorta had a feeling he would, especially with Diane's vote, but compared to Cowboy, Drew was indeed a player where I really did feel Cowboy didn't really assert himself. But that wasn't the highlight really. Just when you thought you had thankfully forgotten the rest, Jase and Holly walk in. My God. I truly despise him. He came across as such an arrogant asshole, and despretely trying to re-capture his 15 minutes of fame at the expense of the others yet again. It appears Jase and Scott aren't on speaking terms more so due to Jase, and it has something to do with Holly. I must admit I was a little suprised to see Jase and Holly together, and Jase was pretty open about it this time around, so I have a theory: Holly and Jase are destined to be together as self-proclaimed victims of a show that they claim doesn't understand them. Uh, really, we just don't understand asshole's and Jase just can't see to figure that out. Jase needs someone in his life to constantly feed his ego, ergo Holly. He is the type of guy that needs a trophy girlfriend no matter how stupid they may be to help him elevate himself and prove not only to him, but his fragile psyche that he can have a girlfriend that other people look at...namely other jocks like Scott, in which I am sure Jase has plenty of those types in his circle. Any normal man couldn't stand Jase attention for the spotlight, and his constant degrading of others to make himself look superior. So what does that say about Holly? The only thing she really has going for her is her looks. Other than that, any man of course would want a piece of her, but doesn't want her to talk at all....for the sheer fact she sounds like a typical 80's valley-girl throwback. I believe her flaw is that she is so insecure about herself that the only way she can feel important is to have an agressive man liek Jase in her life, and I can only imagine that is because she gives it up easy. I probably shouldn't be that harsh on that judgement, but I can't picture Jase hanging out with her at all unless she gave up the booty. In my book, she would be a good one night stand for me, but I could never have her for a serious girlfriend. I'd be too embarrassed to introduce her to anyone except my bed. Therefor, as messed up as their relationship looks to normal people, they need each other as self-supporting crutches for their lack of personality and intelligence. Sad that everyone else can see that, except them. And I was really surprised with Marvin. His 'racist' question to Cowboy was so outta line, and wasn't funny in the least. And his 'buddy-bonding' with Jase at the end with disregard to Will was bad as well. As much as I was really liking Marvin for a while, he lost a lot of points with me there. Not that you or Marvin care, but I really lost respect for him.

If I were a serial killer, I would be.... 


Thursday, September 23, 2004

Birthday wishes and more 

Musings/Birthday wishes Okay, don't ask me why 'cause I'm still going through withdrawls, but I still haven't seen the end of BB5 or Amazing Race 5!! Ugh. For sure today. Yesterday, there just wasn't enough hours in the day...period. After the gym, I did indeed go over to my friends house and we played SW: Battlefront for 2 hours and it just rocked!! Must....buy....game... So by the time I got home, Dr. Phil special was starting. Yes...don't give me any shit....I watched it. I was truly amazed at some of the behaviors of parents, and thus their children. No wonder kids are so messed up today....many parents take NO responsibility of discipline. There were a few kids on that show that even though I believe they are the product of their environment, and it isn't always their fault, none-the-less, I would beat them until Social Services took 'em away. Yeah, yeah. I belive in self-esteem and love....to a point. I also believe in a good sound crack or spanking when warranted to let the kid actually know who's running the show. It was amazing to watch a few of these 4 and 6 years old children telling their parents what's up and running the house, instead of the adults. Crazy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy Birthday wishes to Standing Naked. It appears she turned 34. She made an interesting comment:
oh and sex hell now that i am 34....will i think about it less? lord i hope so - well sorta
I can kinda understand where she is coming from. I know I think about it more than I used to when I was a teenager, even though I am getting less of it during the whole decade of my 20's. But now, sometimes the thoughts get in my way and are distracting...I agree, sometimes I don't want to think about it as much as I do at times...or at least when I do think about it, it seems it's at the wrong times....like when I should be working, or reading some technical manual, or at the bank, or something just as nutty. On the flip side, it shows a healthy interest and that your not dead inside....unless it becomes like a drug consuming every part of your life. I could be crazy in saying this, but SN, I thinks it's normal for you especially being a woman (Uh..Oh...I hear NOW beating the war drums). Men are taught whether correctly or erronously that women develop a sexual appetite a little later than men do, that your 30's is when you are the most agressive. And society also teached men peak in their late teen's and early 20's. Well, I know I had my most adventerous years in my 20's and I fondly look back at the 'oat-sewing' college years...something that's been over now for a decade plus. So embrace it, where statistically speaking my best years (and I'm kicking and screaming about it and am trying to defy it) are behind me, yours are just starting. That's where the term Boy Toy comes in. I was a Boy Toy more than once, and I was quite okay with it. I wasn't the Boy Toy who was lavished with money or felt like an escort like some weathered celebrities weekend lover, but the few times I was with older women, I loved every aspect of it. When I was in my early to mid 20's just after college, I dated a few women from their late 20's to mid 30's. I loved it. I was brought to parties and 'gatherings' where I knew I was being talked about in a favorable way where my friends were sitting home. They paid attention to me and told me I made them feel good. That made me feel good, that they chose me over someone closer to their age or older. Sure I couldn't buy them fancy things, I was just outta college and had little money, but I tried to make up for it in the bedroom. And it was reciprocated in kind. I learned a few things about intamacy and how to be tender and patient in the bedroom. They were more willing to explore foreplay and use the sense of touch, and their speech and mannerism were that more delicate than some of the college gals I was with. So embrace your 30's and know that your feelings are normal from everything I can tell from both sexes, and there are plenty of younger studs who will appreciate you more than you know if you treat them right.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I'm not a Geek.....now pass the Flux Capacitor 

Musings Ahhhh, yesterday was a big day for yours truly. Star Wars, the origal trilogy was released on DVD Widescreen with re-mastered sound. Alas, I could not watch it last night however as I had prior commitments which meant I also missed the finales of Big Brother 5 and Amazing Race 5. Not to fret...I taped them, and will watch them tonight as it's so hard to avoid reading other blogs and avoiding the news to see who won. But it is killing me right now... ...As is not watching Star Wars. Matter of fact, I called my friend today at lunch, and just as I guessed, he had called in sick and I interrupted him just as The Empire Strikes Back was starting for him. It's cool,....after work and the gym I am swinging by his house to play a new X-Box game he got: Star Wars - Battlefront. Whoo Hooo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CurryMan has e-mailed a few of us at work which is funny, because we all share his e-mails with each otehr and shake our head in amusement. Dude, relax...believe it or not we can function without you for more than 2 days in a row. It has given me a chance to slack off slightly. My work is done, but in my down time right now it gives me a chance to day dream and look at games I want. That's what I need I think....Two days just to sit at my house and plays games and let the world spin on its axis without me getting involved with anybody or any drama. I wanna play The Sims 2 and my own X-Box games right now. And for me with X-mas right around the corner there's a whole slew of games I'd like to get myself as my own escape and personal Nate time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Not really feeling all too spunky right now in the sex department. April is outta tonw for a few days, and quite frankly I'm kinda not thinking about it too much. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Speaking of Flux Capcitor's, one of the local radio stations out here has a flashback 80's lunch hour. Ahhhh....Billy Idol's Eye's Without A Face, Richard Marx's Hazard, Flock of Seagul's I Ran and I had the window down sipping on my Ice Tea thinking of my High School days. Damn I miss High School. My first kiss, the Prom, my first party, my first beer, Miami Vice. I'm picturing me back in my pastel shirts drinking wine coolers discussing the latest episode of Crockett and Tubbs with my buds as we wait for the friday night game to start. Which girls we were gonna try and pick up on, where the party was, and if we were gonna do our homework or not. Life was so much simpler back then.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

If I were a Pin-up woman.... 

I would be..... You are Lili St. Cyr! You're Lili St. Cyr! Shamlessly stolen from Chastity. Or, If I were to replace a celebrity, I would replace: Madonna You are going to replace Madonna! The Goddess of publicity and star power. You work very hard to get noticed even if that means staging a few scenes for attention you can pull it off without others suspecting it. Don't forget me when you blow up. Which Pop Star Are You Destined To Replace?

Tidbits of this and that 

Musings & Memories Well one of the Barnum Brothers said there was a sucker born everyday, and they must have included me on that as well. I opted to try the $99 3-session workout plan with Corrie, and yesterday was my first day. First off, it seemed to go much faster than an hour. I was surprised by the clock that an hour had passed, and while the workout wasn't super intense, I was slightly sweating and pumped up. We did back and legs, and my back is sore today (actually it was sore for the last few days) and we finished up with some strecthing. I guess I would give Corrie a 'B' to a 'B-' if I were to grade her. She did teach me some new stuff, and really didn't dilly-dally too much, but I could have been pushed a little harder and got more tips for my money. And and flirting that transpired between us earlier didn't really happen yesterday. Seemed to have vanished with my money, but that's okay. Anyway, I guess we'll see what happen on Thursday. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am really thinking my mother is emotionally unstable....seriously. Dare I say I honestly, and I'm not saying this to be funny or flippant, but I really am becomming concerened enough about her where Prozac (or whatever drug it is today) may need to be researched an adminsitered. I received a phone call from her a few days ago, and basically I was on the receiving end of a 20 minute talking to about life and feelings. Her emotions quite literally and quite frankly kept flip-flopping. It wasn't so much the content (which kinda goes in one ear and out the other), but I was really focused on her emotional state. One minute sane and calm, the next crying, the next angry, the next laughing, and more or less finished as if we were two chums on the football field. When we finally hung up, I think I must have sat for about 10 minutes wondering: What the Hell? But how does one suggest to thier mother and/or family that you think she nneds honest counseling? I gave up on my stint a few months back, becuase my 'free' shrink was worthless....remember, he didn't even remember my name and all he gave me was paper to read...Boo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Saw Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow over the weekend. Loved it! It was a great blending of pulp sci-fi from the 40's with '04 technology. The eater eggs in the movie were fun, and the lighting was very 'film noir'. Except I din't care for Gwynneth Paltrow too much. I don'd think she was the best actress for this character. Maybe Ashley Judd or Kristy Swanson, or some one else....but Paltrow....had a hard time accepting her despite everyone else. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CurryMan is out this week, and in a way, everyone is visibly happier. We are actually getting stuff done without being 'checked' on every 10 minutes. Talk about boosts in productivity!! Actually yesterday, people were much more relaxed and I overheard comments from my peers who were excited. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ April dropped of a Victoria's Secret catalog off to me to look at and said I could buy her something. I'm all for that, but the last few pieces of lingerie I purchased for her, she doesn't wear anyway. I don't want to throw money away on something I'll never see. Everytime I look at the catalog, I'll admit I think of my college girl-friend Sharon....she was really into feeling sexy about herself, and often wore lingerie for me....without me ever asking. I had a few other girls wear lingerie for me too, usually on special occasions, but once in a while I would get a surprise. And most of them have been very sexy and tasteful, not cartoonish at all. Sharon did wear some crotchless panties for me once, and a few others have worn the kind with the snaps down there...either allowing me to do the unveiling or putting on a show for me as I sat across the room and watched. I miss that.....ALOT. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ran into my good friends wife the other day too. That sucked for me for all the wrong reasons. I like...way too much, and him. They are great people, and very nice to me with no ulterior motives. But I have had a crush on her for 3 years now, and she just looks better and better with age. She has to be in her early 40's, but has the body of a 25 year old. She greeted me the other day with a hug, and I was instantly guilty for coveting my friends wife. She just has this gravity and charm about her that can woo any man, and for having two kids, you never would have guessed. Her body is tighter and flatter than most single women with no children...and she DOESN"T WORK OUT!!!! Arrrggghhhh. So anyway, she hugged me while wearing her snug tanktop, and she either has some store bought assests, or they are the best pair for a woman that age I have ever seen. But I could never do anything to her....It's just a fantasy in my head that I could never act upon even if it was thrown in my face. Damn morals!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Autumn is in the air. Today, as I woke up....I couldn't help but have memories of years past. It was somewhat balmy and windy this morning and very cool. Radio said it was 62 degrees, but I didn't know that until I was in my car. It was before that, that really struck me though. It was dead quiet, other than the the slight sound of the wind through the trees and now that's it's slightly darker in the morning it made the mood even more so. I stand befor my vanity in my boxers brushing my teeth, feeling the cool chill of the outside air, and the fresh smell of what reminds me of the mountains. My blinds sway ever so slighly against the window frames as I get dressed in my shorts. I go outside and sit down on my stoop to put on my tennis-shoes. The cool air now weavs through my recently styled and wet hair and feel it on my cheeks. I take a deep breath through my nostrils, hold it in for a second, and let it out slow through my mouth. My eyes survey the scene....very serene and clean. The clouds are pretty and allow for only the slightest amount of filtered sun-light through. A leaf drags itself in a random pattern across the asphalt like a sail with no boat. I am the only one here....Outside...in the cool morning and brisk air. My coffee mug next to me emits a trail of steam into the void, and I sip at its bold flavor. I am instantly transported back to my college loft apartment. It could be any day really. It could be the Tuesday morning before I head off to 8am Finance, or the Saturday I'm fighting over a slight hangover, or that day after my birthday that one year where Sharon made love to me all night long. I got up early that next morning and admired her naked body in my bed, I went outside to enjoy the same sensation of the enviroment reminiscing on how we tore each other clothes off the night before and did things I'd have to say many Hail Mary's for. The smile on her face as she first looked up at me, then later down at me covered in sweet sweat. She would wake up soon after and join me on my deck, wrapped in one of my shirts and sit next to me. Her warm body mixed with cool fresh mountain air. She would nibble on my ear, and aftre she finished her coffee would reach out and take my hand, and lead me back to my bedroom until noon. Oh, how I miss days like this. Memories that can be painful reminders of who I was and wondering what ever happened to her. I miss her at times like today.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Pic link for you 

Not my regular post, But I love Jamie Pressley. Yes, there are a few nudes in her, but that wasn't why I was posting. Her face is 'fierce' in my book. She has that 'come here and let me take advantage of you' look to me. Yum!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Thursday entry 3.....Rescue Me & Nip/Tuck 

Musing. I love F/X. I know I have expressed this before, but I love The Shield and I also love Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me. This past week: Nip/Tuck: Think of a younger telecast version of power plays from Dallas, warped story-lines like Less Than Zero or 9 1/2 Weeks, with a fair amount of skin and debauchery thrown in for good measure like a softorn from Cinemax. I am constantly in awe of the storylines, and even though I know they are outlandish, the ideas are very tight and very fresh and spooky/perverted. There's a lot of simulated sex on the show...a lot...and very simulated. It has to be one of the most risque shows I know this side of premium channels, and often puts HBO in it's place. Now, I'm not all about the skin, the stories really drive the show, but honestly I can't remember the last time I watched a cable show that actually made me horny and aroused. I'll admit, last weeks episode with Famke Jannsen made me unable to stand for a few minutes. Famke is great for that roll, and very demented, and very tasty. Her character is willingly having sex with the 17 year-old Matt (not so good but salacious), son of both doctors (complicated story there). Rescue Me: Another show with above average writing and fresh situations who also pushes the envelope. Also another F/X show with simulated sex scenes that are hot. Not the sex so much as the mood and atmosphere it builds up in these scenes. One plot line last night had one of the rookie fire-fighters get seduced by the daughter of a woman he is dating, and while the camera cuts away, there is no mistaking what is actually going on. Another plot line had the character of Dennis Leary call his mistress up and make some pretty nice demands of her: "I'm coming over in 10 minutes, but here's my conditions: 1) You wear stilletto heals, 2) You wear that black leather miniskirt with no panties underneath, 3) You wear that black bra I like, and 4) you pour me a tall whisky". Sure as shit, he drives up, opens the door to be greated by a pair of legs in black stilleto heels. As the camera pulls back, we see the leather skirt and her holding a tall whisky she hands to him. Not many words are exchanged, more a 'nasty' look from Dennis as he sits himself down on the couch. She begins to straddle him, and he pushes her away. She wonders WTF? Dennis says: "Back up and dance for me".......she does...all that was missing was a brass pole in the living room. Frickin' A' that was hot and I so wanted to be there and his character for that moment of time. I find some girls like to be commanded that way...others do not. I hope I don't sound like a chauvenist pig here, but the girls I've been able to command like that from time to time.....some of the BEST sex I ever had. The other's that aren't into that so much, I also found to be some of the more boring encounters/relationships I ever had. Not because I find submissive women more attractive, but one's that I can command in the bedroom, I allow them to command me later, so it works out for the both of us. They tend to enjoy all aspects of fantasy and touch better too. They want to feel naughty at times, but need someone to bring it out of them so they can feel liberated, and a liberated woman in the bedroom just seems 10 times more enthusiatsic...And if you show enthusiasm towards me, I'll show it 10 times more so to you. Win - Win. More on this later.

Thursday entry 2...Peer Pressure 

Yesterday after work I went to the gym again, despite being on the chest injury list. I'm still able to do other things so I decided yesterday would be a good day to do biceps and a bit of triceps. I also attempted to do a few pushups as well....which I can normally do at no sweat, but this time around I could only do a handfull becuase of the pain/tenderness. The only good sign was I was in fact able to do some, which means I stopped correctly when I tore it and now it's just a matter of time before I'm back to where I was....but who knows how long that could take. So Torrie is a trainer/sales-person that has been there for a bit now and about a week or so back we struck up a small conversation that I initiated. It was more like a game to me at the time...I like to see every once in a while if I can still flirt and score the digits. If I wasn't attached with April right now, I may have actually taken this game/quest a little more seriously. Needless to say, I really didn't ask her phone number, but was able to get a dialouge open with her and I sensed a little interest on her behalf. That is, I'd like to think I sensed her interest, but perhaps I was just another John that she could sell something to. Torrie is in her mid to late 20's I'm guessing, 27-29 years old. Brunette, straight hair, little longer than shoulder length. She's not as tone as I would think a trainer should be, but still fairly fit and taut (I've seen better). She's a little plain in the makeup department as well and a natural 'B' size chest. Overall, I guess I'd rate her a 6.5-7 on a 1 to 10 scale, but if she put a little makeup on, she could easily be a 8 in my book....god I sound horrible and shallow. Needless to say though she's smart, and can carry a conversation, and still find myself oddly attracted to her. So yesterday she saw me and struck up a conversation with me. It was a little odd, because as I was lifting weights, like in the middle of an exercise, is when Torrie approached me and began speaking. What made it even more awkward was the fact that during brief lulls in my workout she just kinda hung there...like she wanted to say something, but couldn't, so eventually it stumbled into the fact she wanted to train me for a few sessions. Of course my head swam in dollar signs and then Torrie put on her salesman face. I didn't really have the heart to flat out tell her 'No', so I said I think about it. She asked me how much longer I was going to working out and that she wasnted to speak with me afterwards....not to give me her number I sensed, but to 'sell' me something. Wierd vibes. One minute I had the sense she may want something else, then the next it was selling me something. I said 'Okay' with the full intention of sneaking out, but I was foiled. I was almost at the door when she saw me, and ushered me over to her desk. She tried to sell me the 10 pack issue for $485...Uh, No. Does it look like I need 10 sessions? I'm one of the bigger guys here and I obviously don't need too much instruction. I told her I wasn't ready to do that, nor even if I wanted to, didn't have a credit card with me. She then offered to throw in a 'free' session with no strings attached. It may sound to some she wanted to spend time with me one-on-one for a possible hook-up scenario, but I'm positive it wasn't that at all. I wasn't buying into that too much, and she got the gist. Torrie then offered a 3 session course (1 hour each) for $99. Well, that sounded a helluva a lot better even though I really don't need it. She said she'd teach me a few tricks (not the kind I want to learn from her though, sadly), keep my motivation up and talk to me about nutrition. I'm supposed to go after work today and slap down $99 and start next week with her. I'm honestly on the fence about this....there are a few benefits and I could indeed learn something I'm sure...and I always work out better with a partner anyways, especially when I'm injured. On the flipside, my experiment in confidence approaching a woman sorta (?) backfired on me. Now I'm facing a a few training sessions with someone I am attracted to and there is a little something there, but it wasn't supposed to go that direction. Definetly if there was no April in the picture, I'd probably come clean with Torrie and say 'No', I don't want any training sessions per-se, just your phone number, and maybe our own cardio-workout mano-y-mano at your place or mine. But even that would never last, becuase inevitably something would go wrong and one of us wouldn't be able to go to the gym anymore, and it would probably be me. I don't do to well in awkward things like that. ~~~~~~~~~~~ BTW: CurryMan has been impressed with me the last few days and still stays out of my hair. He'll be gone for a week next week, and I know others in the department are secretly clapping their hands in glee at this news, as am I.

Thursday entry 1......Sandy 

Musing/True Story I haven't thought about Sandy in years, and it's a shame. She's married now, or at least I heard some years back through an e-mail. I have no idea if she still is married or has kids. Part of me would like to know, part of me doesn't....just another chapter in my life that is closed and try to move on. I think I can find her e-mail address if I really wanted to, not sure I will though...just a thought really. Outta sight....outta mind. But on a day like this, a combination of things bring her back to the forefront of my memories, and I really have nothing bad at all to say. Maybe that's why I try to push her outta my mind at times....she was a good, genuine person. Someone whom I had a relationship with, and at times am sorry it never worked out (that's a whole new series of entries I may work on). So why today? Why did she pop in my mind today, after what? A few years since I last thought of her....and even 10 years since I last physically saw her ? This morning reminds me in many ways of a typical college morning. I awoke to a slightly darker dreary outside than normal. It's cooler than normal here for this time of year, and it's really overcast. The skies are dark and gray and there is even a little moisture in the air, and it's clean air today too.....just like where I used to live when I was in college. Also, I am enjoying a decent cup of coffee in a quiet environment. It's 'decent' coffee with a pinch of Splenda. It's not Strabucks or Peete's, or Diedrich's, but it is nice and hot with a bold flavor.....just like the coffee I used to enjoy in the company of Sandy when I used to wake up in her house or after we spent the morning in her bed lazily fooling around. Lastly it's the song. I enjoy jazz music quite a bit...the sort of rustic jazz from the south or Chicago area....circa 1940-1960, more with a 'blue-sy' feel. It's Etta James: I'd rather go Blind. Etta sounds so much like Janis Joplin in this song it's uncanny. We both had an eclectic taste in music which is probably another reason we got on so splendid. We could listen to county (Sandy's favorite), then something from the 80's, then jazz....and be happy. She was from a very small rural community where I was the guy from the city. She actually spent time growing up on a farm, and her parents were conservative. Sandy had the small town values, and in retrospect, that's just another quality of hers I miss....not just in her, but in our society. Sandy was intelligent and not afraid to speak her mind without being rude or crude. She was petite and mousy. Somewhat average looking with great porcelin skin. Actually she was paler than I generally like and never wore too much makeup, or conformed to top fashion. She was a country gal with strong opinions and a strong mind. She was also pretty small in the chest...most certainly an 'A' cup. But she was one of those gals where my attraction wasn't just about beauty...it was she could captivate me cerebrally, and she was genuine, and she was nice. She also had a minx quality behind closed bedroom doors that often surprised me. Was she the best sex I ever had? No,....but our physical connection was good on a different level. I could please her, and she could please me....and while she wasn't the girl who liked to be daring and wild in public, or into 'kinky' stuff, she did take charge in the bedroom and she gave as much to passion and concentration than others. When she enjoyed sex, she enjoyed it. I guess you could say Sandy had the best vanilla sex ever...and I was happy. So how did we meet? Actually she was dating a friend of mine and I was dating someone else at the time too. Her boyfriend at the time was a little wild....a nice guy, but liked to drink, and he was redneck. And I mean Redneck. Mike and I ran in the same circles actually, and we became friends. Not that we hung out at each otehr houses or called each other, but really did see each other out an about pretty often. We took similar classes, had similar outlooks on politics (granted he was a bit more 'hawkish' than I), and we kept running into each other at parties. At the time I was dating Sharon, and Mike had told me on more than one occassion that Sharon was hot....and she was...a definite 9 by many standards, and many guys were very envious of me for the time Sharon and I were togther (that's another series of entries in itself...and 'hot' memories they were for another time). Anyway, it was at a party once with our respective girlfriends, we ran into each other...While Sharon went off for a smoke and Sandy went to visit with some other friends, Mike and I were outside sharing a beer. He came right out and told me that he would love to swap girlfriends for a day or two, and he was serious. But he was the only one serious. I knew Sandy well enough that she would never be into that, nor Sharon, nor I even. At the time I was with Sharon and happy. But the seeds were planted. And as many college relationships go Sharon and I broke up (not the first time in our on-again/off-again status), and Mike and Sandy broke up as well (for reasons I never knew about nor cared). I'm not exactly sure and when or how.....but Sandy I ended up going out as friends....at first. I think we ran into each other at a bar, and it was discussed there in a slighty inebriated haze that we should go out to dinner....and voila....Though I can't remember the exact day or hour of our first kiss, I do remember the first time our mouths parted and our eyes closed and the feeling of her arms around me....her denim jeans and mine co-mingling as we tasted each other.... More to come in a future entry.

Monday, September 13, 2004

HBO's Real Sex & Stuff 

Commentary/Musings I'm starting to feel as if even my weekends are becomming as mundane as my week. The only difference is I don't have to work for two days. I had some plans with a friend this weekend, but he came down with a bad case of food poisoning and was either in the toilet or in bed the whole weekend, so I was on my own for the most part. It's been 7 days today since I had an ounce or sip of alcohol of any kind and I feel pretty good. I did have a slight craving for some Jack Daniels yesterday, but I didn't give in. Also with my new found aerobic activities, I am happy to report I lost 2-3 lbs over the week. I'll weigh in again today to see if it stuck, but I have a positive mental attitude. Now the bad: I did re-injur myself at the gym again. Hopefully not bad, but time will tell in a few days. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I tore part of my pectoral muscle bench pressing. As soon as I did it, I just had enough strength to re-rack the weight, and stop. I have a very slight discoloration, and while it didn't swell, it is very tender to the touch...like a charlie horse. What sucks is the fact that with my recent re-dedictaion to exercise, the increase in aerobic activity, the cutting of the booze, I probably set myself back a few weeks in the chest area. So I guess I'll be spending more time on legs, biceps, and maybe some triceps. Not sure how back or shoulders are going to be since some exercises actually do involve pectoral movement. At least I was able to sleep relatively pain free....not like the time I hurt my shoulder and tore my rotator cuff. April is better from whatever her illness was, but moody as hell. So I warred with myself about wanting to have sex or not with her. I think I am really coming to realize that being aroused is a multifacted aspect for me. The body can be turned on, and I mean turned on...but I think I also need to feel it a bit as well in the heart and in the mind. When April (or anyone) for that matter is in a shitty mood, I kinda feel like I'm walking on eggshells or uncomfortable/moody myself. Since April and I are closer than a random stranger, I decided that even though I had an ache between my legs, I wasn't going to indulge myself. Never good to have sex when your angry for the most part. The only time I'll have sex is when I'm new in a relationship....before you really get a super emotional attacment, when you are dating/experimenting...like college. I can remember a few times when a small little argument between me and someone would lead to some fantastic bedroom encounters...kinda on the rougher side. There's a lot of pent-up energy to expel that way. Now some may say that make-up sex is great, and while I would agree for the most part, we haven't really made-up yet. Not that we are arguing either or fighting....she's just really crabby and I personally don't want to be around anyone like that when they are crabby. Sucks though....since it's been almost a week. Today especially. I'm not sure if its the weather, or the theatre of my own mind, and most likely some subconscious seeds have been planted from some other Blogs I have read today, but I do indeed know I am feeling very sexual today. I did decide to give April a call to see what she was doing tonight and she sounded pretty tired. Said she wanted to take a nap but may force herself to go to the gym. It doesn't help her disposition either when she knows I just lost a few pounds again this past week. I really want to be naughty though.....I can't help but think of making her wear a tight T-Shirt and jump in my shower and let me watch...or better yet take pictures. Or let her use some toys for my visual enjoyment.....Yeah, that does sounds a bit selfish I know....but they are HER toys, not mine. Ever see the Wicked Weasel swimsuits? That's what I'm talking about....mmmmm. I think it really started Friday night. I was flipping channels late and came across Real Sex 24 on HBO. Basically it's a documentary in the vein of 60 Minutes. They usually have 4, 10-15 minute segments on real life sex, and they can be pretty graphic. The 1st one was a legitimate classroom in New York where singles and couples signed up and paid money for an oral sex workshop. WTF? These people were dead serious. And of course they had a real woman (not attractive at all...more like the sterotypical butch dyke) who got butt naked and pointed out her privated in a pseudo clinical/humerous fashion. Then she had her boyfriend actually perform oral sex on her in different positions in front of the class. People were taking notes. Uhhhh... The second segment was some Swinger-Palooza thingy down in the south. Okay,....let me say that swingers in the south that attended this are swingers for a reason....not because they are good looking at all.....just some horny, fat, hairy, cellulite ridden men and women who all came from their high school drama club and couldn't get a real date. I'd say that 95% of these people were hicks. However,.......They were very free in their lifestyle and for a brief moment I was getting aroused. Not by them physcially...Uh, NO...but some of the activities I could see myself doing in the past with some hot girls and a few other straight guys (preferably not though)...so this got me randy...where I just had to go to bed. So who knows what is going to happen tonight? Maybe I'll surf the web and find a little celluloid action there...solo.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Even more fodder 

Chaos. CurryMan is out this morning and it really feels like a air of tension has been lifted in the immediate area. Everyone is working nicely without the constant interupptions and explanations. Did the machine of death again yesterday at the gym. Heart rate was up, sweat factor was up. God, I hope this works. No cocktails since Monday. Eating smart the last few days. Time will tell. But no machine of death today....way to sore, just regular lifting is on the menu. April is ill, not flu or cold, but fatigue and soreness of some sort. Not exactly sure what it is. She has been at her place the last two days in bed. I brought her dinner last night and was a little peeved she never said 'Thank you', until like a half hour later. Ended up taping Joey and Apprentice 2, which I'll watch solo tonight. I watched BB5 last night. Karen is out, no big loss, but her self-pity party was uncalled for as was her remarks to Diane. As pointed out by host Julie, if the shoes were reversed Karen most likely would have done the same thing, and they even pointed out Karen going back on her owns words with Natalie/Adria. It was pretty hypocritical, but for some reason only Karen knows, she thinks what she did was okay and not Diane. Has someone not pointed out to these people that this is a GAME, and the goal is to ELLIMINATE the competition, so that YOU are the LAST ONE STANDING? Duh. Sorry, I lost all respect for Karen over that. Dolt. Then Marvin shows up at the sequestered house, and already the tension is back between him and the twins. Will is excited that Marvin is there to keep him compnay, because his demeanor fell even further when the second twin showed up. He's funny. Says only enough to them to make life passable when they speak to him, but behind their back he has an earful of resentment to espouse to the audience. Update: I was working on this post last Friday, and I must have gotten really busy so I abandoned it as a draft. Well, I'm gonna post it anyway, though it's mid-thought and I have no idea where I was going with it. Sorry.

Friday's Feast 

I shamelessy stole this from Chastity as early morning fodder for my blog. Sorry. Appetizer What movie soundtracks do you own? Too many (and I'm sure more, I can only think of these)- The Jazz Singer, Desperado, CB4, New Jack City, SW: Episode 1, Forest Gump, The Commitments Vol I & II, SCI-Fi's greatest themes, Mortal Kombat. Soup How much cash do you usually carry with you? A few singles or small bills. Usually always my debit/ATM card until recently when my number was compromised. Still waiting for new card. Salad Are you more comfortable around men or women? Why? It really depends on the individual. Some women I am very comfortable with, some not. Same with men. I have best friends in both sexes. Main Course What is the most mischievous thing you remember doing as a child? Boys will be Boys. My friends and I would hop people's yards, throw rocks, prank calls. I think the only thing I did as a kid solo was I was dared to go into the school's girl's bathroom. No biggie, but boy did I get in trouble. Dessert Who is the funniest member of your family? Hands down, my great-uncle. Was a WWII vet and a POW, still kicking today and has the funniest outlook on broads, booze, politics, religion, and life in general. The 'cute' old guy that still gets the ladies attention at his age....mostly based on his very quick wit and happy disposition, and the ability to make fun of himself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, and once again, Barbie, is friggen nuts. She's really cute as is her friend Kristi (Yum). Sometime's, I'll admit, I envy her very lax outlook on life. But, oooooh, girl......you gonna crash & burn someday. Yikes. I read her for comic relief.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

A lame entry. 

A cacophony of ramblings. So, what been up the last 6 days? Nothing outstandingly noteworthy...that's for sure. I'm glad the new fall season of TV is starting I suppose. I'll watch Joey tonight and BB5. I'm actually waiting for some new vidoe games that come out next week. God I'm a loser. I did happen to watch the new season of the Surreal Life the other day on VH1. A couple of things: Bridgette Nielsen is a certified loon, and rude. Flava Flav is a little rowdy, yet seems to be nice and acknowledges his past demons and appears to want to put them behind him. Charo is bossy and also nutty. Jordan Knight packed on a few pounds and comes across as kinda arrogant and self-centered....his whole wanting a bedroom to himself despite Ryan Starr's wishes makes him look selfish. Ryan Starr is a hottie and a puritan, and good for her I say. But you can see in future episodes where she is gonna have a problem with everyone else. BB5 is starting to wind down meaning Survivor is right around the corner.....Yay!! Marvin is out on BB5 which makes me sad (boo!), and Cowboy thinks he's the next Bruce Lee. He has no one fooled in the house. I still like Diane and have no idea where her and Drew really stand. I have a feeling Karen is getting booted tonight....which isn't a bad thing...she was pretty much a worthless player anyway. She managed to fly under the radar all this time and skate by on everything. CurryMan for all intents and purposes and I have had no real contact the last few days....not a bad thing. He missed yet another meeting he was supposed to attend with me, and I don't care. I know one of my other peers wants to strangle him something fierce, and things are in motion that may take 'some' wind out of his over-inflated sails. Played 'hooky' yesterday and felt no guilt about it at all until April called me to....what...check up on me? That's one thing I don't like. I don't care for 'nosey' people, because it's actually a sign of insecurity. If you need to know what I'm doing and why, just ask, don't use these stupid...beat around the bush innuendos...damn I hate that. You can tell teh difference when someone asks becuase they are concerned, or they ask because they feel as if they are missing out on some tidbit of sordid information. April was of the latter in thsi line of questioning, and it just rubbed me weird. Still love F/X's Rescue Me. Boy, do they push the envelope. But it's great. BTW, I'm so glad....my mom and I have tenatively made up. At least we are speaking again, but I'm sure a few things still need to be ironed out. I weighed myself at the gym yesterday, and my belief rang true. I'm gaining weight again, and it's not muscle. DAMN!! So I'm trying to do more aerobic activity now and cut out the booze. I did this new aerobic machine thing yesterday, and it just about killed me. I haven't sweat like that in....forever! Which makes me not feel 'handsome' or randy at all. Actually, my sex drive right now is in my mind, and my mind only. I actually turned it down the other day to April's disapointment, but it was so.....blah....not that I need to be coaxed to have sex per-se, but I actually have to be turned on....and if I'm not turned on,......well, it wouldn't hurt if you (gasp) tried to arouse me...but I think April's idea of attempting/trying and mine are different. Grabbing my johnson like a robot does nothing for me. My doctor grabs me that way once a year...in a clinical sense...and I'm not aroused there either. If you wanna 'do it' at least make an effort and jump me. My pants sometimes rub me better than she did that day. Boo! A lot has to do with the weather too. It's bloody hot here. It been over 100 the last few days. Supposed to be cooler this weekend.....supposed to be. I want to write more,....but I'm too lazy right now. Bye.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Nothing like a Big Brother scorned....and CurryMan is in the KoolAid 

I watched a little bit of Bush's speech last night.....Can't say anything hit me between the eye's and I was bowled over beaming with a new sense of right wing fortitude. More like platitude's. I guess maybe I was expecting more from 'W', but instead got the same 'ole, same 'ole. McCain, Arnold, and Rudy were my highlights. Of course this delayed BB5, and what a doozy it was. Adria was constantly putting the pressure on poor Karen to the use the veto. Thought Karen was gonna have a breakdown at one point. Michael was very thankful to America for allowing him to talk to his step-son and fiance on the cellphone earlier in the week, but otherwise pretty goofy and a little tattle-tale on the 'kiss'. The Kiss: Marvin devised this plan to put a wedge between Drem and Diane by pretending he was sweet on her in front of Cowboy. He hugged Diane and kissed her head. He seemed like he really did want a little more....that is more than just to drive a wegde, but maybe thinking he really could get some play. Of course he does this in Cowboy's peripheral vision, and within minutes, Cowboy was off telling Drew what went down. Poor Diane, she was really set up on this whole thing an oblivious. Drew puts on the macho attitude like it doesn't bother him, but it does eat at him for a day or two before he confronts Diane. Diane, like I said earlier who was the innocent party, took a small brow-beating from Drew. Seems like pretty boy Drew is talking out of both sides of his mouth when it comes to a relationship. As he comes down on Diane, Diane is clearly stunned and at a loss. Poor girl....she just can't get a break.. come here darlin', Uncle Nate will tuck you in. During the live eviction, it's a sweep 4-0 in favor of evicting Adria. Yay! But, it did have me fooled. I thought at least Drew would vote for her to stay. Back at the jury house, 1st member Drew is living la vida loca, and is taken aback (but smiling inside) that Natalie got axed when she steps into the jury house as the second member. Natalie tries to smooth things over Will, but he ain't buying it at all. He is acting one way in front of her, and calls her demon-seed when alone. Once Adria is evicted, she gets on a Pontificating High Horse and comes off with some wacky speech. I think to everyone's surprise, Marvin stepped up and fired back at her at the front door. Tensions were high and Marvin was backing down. He made some good points and Adria tried to play it off, but it made her look silly. How did two awesome girls get so shady? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My boss, who will know be known from this point forward as CurryMan (or 'CM') is really ruffling feathers. I knew it just wasn't me, but I now know for fact that other peers have lodged informal complaints or made their voices heard to other management members that not is all a bed of roses over here. I think the real problem is that he is in everyone's KoolAid. And not just for a sip....CM constantly wants updates on the most inane of topics. Wants to know when you made calls, did this get turned in, did that get checked....EVERY 5 MINUTES.. BAH!!!!! Spend more time updating him than actually doing anything. And it's stupid shit too.....Someone called him the George Castanza of our company, always making something out of nothing. Leave us alone for 'F' sake and let us do our jobs and stop baby-sitting us. I only pray that upper management says something to CM soon, and what I hear is that they plan to. But I fear he's here to stay for a while depsite the complaints.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Theft, Bush, Mtv, and other stuff. 

Well, your truly was the victim of credit card theft, but fortunately I was able to catch it within two days by accident. See, I was looking at my online bank statement for a cleared check when I noticed multiple charges for a Florida based company totalling a few hundred bucks. I immediately called the bank and had them halt my card, which sucks, because they had to cancel it and issue me a new one which takes upto 10 business days to get in teh mail. I have no cash on me at all, so it looks like I gotta go withdraw money in person over the next few days and they said I'll probably get a credit once they finish the investigation. So I was able to track down this company and give them a ring. They are some web-based streaming video-conferencing company in Florida. Had them look up my 'supposed' account. Interesting...they discovered this person used an AOL account (which I don't have), and no profile information was attached. The company said they would cancel 'my account' and begin their own investigation. Meanwhile, I have no ATM card and shorted a few hundred bucks.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chastity had an interesting Mtv pictorial of 'stars' at the recent award show. Yes, teh same award show that everyone seems to make the same comment on: Do they even play video's? How can you have an award show on video's, when no one has even seen them to begin with? Anyway, I agree with Chastity's comments. Paris needs shorter hair, Ashlee Simpson needs to go back to blond, Beyonce and Jay-Z?, and who are those people? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Even though I haven't heard them speak (and I heard they were hoorible), I like to look at Barbara and Jenna Bush (Jr.'s). Especially Barbara....she's pretty tasty in my book. And Jenna has a nice bod, though perhaps a little chubby in the face, but something I could overlook for the party. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I love Nip/Tuck and the new show Rescue Me. Even though the stories can be a little far-fectched, I'm always rivited and amazed on how far F/X can push the envelope on subject matter. Stories and characters aside, damn, they have some very erotic subject matter and scenes. I can't really remember the last time I was actually arroused watching cable television, but last night's Rescue me had two scenes: 1) Dennis Leary's character ends up giving into his soon to be ex-wife's drunk sexual advances. The suggestive nature of what they were doing, plus camera angles, plus the fact she is pretty good looking and very audible made me want to smoke afterwards. 2) Young rookie firmeman ends up at the girlfriends home of a man he rescued. She basically answers the door in college-sorority-esque tanktop and shorts and makes advances on him as well. But she demands he takes Viagra becuase she's planning an all-nighter....with handcuffs and a video camera to boot. Just frickin' HOT. I was so in the mood last night. Thanks goodness it was very late and I had a drink so I could fall asleep soon enough....but man, I feel like I've been on fire the last 24 hours.

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