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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Don't you hate when temptation creeps in, and you can't do a thing about it? 

April has been ill the past few days. Not sure what exactly it is, but she says she is achy (sp?) all over and has some digestive tract issues....I don't want to go into detail there, but alas I feel somehwat bad for her. But not too bad, because I oftne mention to her that there are these professionals, termed 'doctors' that believe it or not, will actually take a look at you if you schedule an appointment, and perhaps even prescribe something to make you feel better. Shocking, but true. Needless to say, I have been bombarded by sexual imagery all week in addition to my own creative mind. Some of you may not think this is a big deal, whereas other of you might, but I have been hopelessly monogomous with April for quite sometime now. We never really had the boyfriend-girlfriend talk. She knows a tiny bit about my past...something I don't advertise to the people I am with, but she was aware that we had a "dating" relationship only when we started. Truth is, I just really haven't tried all that much. I gave up months ago on the Internet encounter thing, and it seems as of late every social gatjhering I am at, there are eitehr very little single women, or I'm with April. And when I do have the chance to be in a 'bachelor' environment condusive to 'hooking-up', I just haven't made the effort I formerly did. I guess I got comfortable with April, but belive me my thoughts, generally when I am alone, are all over the board!! I stumbled upon my CD collection of pornography I collected over the years, and I realized I never really labeled the CD's. I am surprised on how much I actually have collected over the years, and if I wanted to view a specific pictorial, it would take me hours to find it amongst all the un-labeled CD's. I guess that can be a project...fun, but odd if you think about it. So where am I going with all this (yes, I just ralized I was on a deviating tangent from my original thought)? My body is responding and acting out at the wrongs times! Just like the proverbial 7th grade boy who can't come forward to the front of the class to do a math problem becuase he just noticed his teachers legs, I am having the most intense sexual cravings at work......and there is nothing I can do about it! I can't look at pictures. I can't take care of myself. The thoughts won't go away. I keep thinking about some of my past encounters like a slow-motion movie playing over and over in my head. My mind is like a montage of all the late night trysts, secret encounters, picture taking, video filming, hot-showers, honey/chocolate body pouring, blindfolding, shaving, restraining, teasing, licking, touching I have done. I need April to get better, and I need to arrange for some mid-day rendevous in some forgotten parking-lot or park. I desire a BJ while driving my car, or have her drive and let me play with her while her eyes are locked on the road. What I really need is to figure out why in the middle of the day I feel like a dog in heat. Any volunteers?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Rocco retires 

True News Item Seems legendary Italian porn star Rocco is calling it quits. See story here. I've seen some of his stuff before, and he does do some crazy movies. I can't believe his wife's comments on their sex life. Well, it works for them, but seems odd to me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Chemical Tattoo = ATP 

Remember the other day when I spied the tattoo I though that was so bizarre? Well, she was at the gym again yesterday and I walked right up to her and asked. She smiled and giggled for a second and told me it was the molecule 'ATP', and that it was her "geek" side coming out. She further explained she had received a tribal arm-band tattoo some 12 years ago before it became the norm, and was really disapointed that so many people are now 'tribal', so she wanted to do something different. For those of you who want to know more about Adenosine Triphosphate, or at least the picture of her tattoo look at: ATP

Monday, June 21, 2004

'The' Store 

True Story Well, as I discussed a few days ago and with April's suggestion/interest we ended up at an 'adult' store the other day. Mind you, I have been in various ones before, but I generally don't make a habit of frequenting these stores. In my observations and past experiences, there always seems to be a certain amount of 'oddballs' or 'deviants' that end up shopping there when I'm there. The only good experience I ever had at one of these shops was years ago on Valentines Day. I guess you can imagine why, and indeed that day in particular it was sooo crowded. It was somewhat surreal to me however, because I knew that about 99% of the people (more or less couples) that stop by on Valentines day are more or less gonna have sex within the next few hours. In looking around, I couldn't help but picture this couple or that couple doing the 'wild thing'. Some I wouldn't mind watching, others...No way, Jose. However, one guy who had that 'bad boy' image I detest had the hottest looking little 19 year old I ever seen....who just happened to be wearing a very small red mini-skirt, long legs, 4 inch heels, long blond hair. She was so innocent and petite looking, and they purchased a rather large vibrator together. I knew where that thing was about to end up, and was bummed I wasn't gonna be there. The place we went to on Saturday was a little shabby, and the guy behind the register (they are always the same too) was some sorta late 70's early 80's hippie throwback that just oozes 'creepy' and you really don't want their help even though they offer. After walking about the store for a bit I came to a startling revelation: About 80% of the store merchandise caters to women, and though I undertsand why, I also think it is still unbalanced in their favor. Granted women more or less wear the lingerie, and high heels, and other accessories, but do they really need 100 variations of the vibrator or dildo? I noticed that there was a pump or 2 for a man (which just looks damn silly to begin with), maybe a fake 'vagina' or two, and even a couple of simulated mouths for men, but really....Vibrating Nipple Clamps for women? One's that even heat up? Jelly this, butterfly that, dolphin looking, silver, gold laminate, hand blown glass? For every 10 pairs of different panties and bra's, there was one jock for a man. For every 20 toys that directly affect a woman, there may be 1 for a man....which got me thinking that we really, as a male, only have one general erogenous zone. At least one that we freely admit to, while secretly shunning the possibilities of others. Perhaps it's the way we were conditioned as we grew up. It seems that everything eventually led to the physcial stimulation of the female, and maybe the visual stimulation for the male. To bring this point further, there was a small section of xxx-videos. Well, as you can imagine 90% of those are for heterosexual males...a few homosexual...and maybe a few strictly for women...but all in all where toys and outfits are for women, videos are for men. There were a few boxes I picked up, and even though we were getting toys for April, I got the 'stink-eye' when I picked up the Paris Hilton video (*note to self: Paris looks hot, may need to purchase at later date). Later in the day I had to explain my theory to April, and I actually think she might have come to the same conclusions when I laid it all out....that is the toys vs videos vs lingerie in such disproportionate numbers. While we were there, there was one other highlight. A woman came in by herself who appeared to be in her late 30's or early 40's. Pretty nice body, not exceptional, but nice. Fake chest. She just came right out and announced to the store "I need something that will fit in my purse, but has power". 'Creepy' was a bit too eager to help her find the right 'toy'. I imagined her tearing open the box as soon as she got in her car...test drive on the way home. We ended up purchasing a very generic vibrator (I can't, nor do I wish to compete with a 'very realistic looking' one), a blindfold, something called an 'egg' which has varius jelly-like sheath attachements that slide over the top of it. I say 'we' meaning it was more or less for 'her' and it was 'I' who paid. Funny how that worked out. I get the 'eye' for looking at a video box, when there is clearly nothing really there for me unless I was into domination or humilation or homosexuality. She walks off with toys where my involvement is optional, not mandatory. The nice thing was she was very willing to have me participate later that night in 'trying out' the new toys, but that's another story for a future installment.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Wierdest Tattoo I've ever seen... 

I've been on a roll since last week on going to the gym. Out of the past 6 days, I've gone 5 and even started to ride the bike for a little cardio. But that's niether here nor there. I've seen some pretty artsy tattoo's over the years, and the type of workout clothes that both men and women choose to wear at the gym sometimes offer more ink to examine than street or work clothes would allow. I've seen the requisite barb-wire tribal arm band, the ankle rose, USMC badges of honor, and more lately the colorful flames and stars among the younger crowd. But hands down I saw the oddest tattoo I've ever seen before on the base of the neck of this woman. I know she's a woman because of her sports bra top, and generally curly hair, but under different circumstances her sex may be questionable. She one of these uber gals that lifts weights and has testosterone coursing through her veins as opposed to estrogen. She has huge traps, a tapered back, and guns, and non-exsitant chest (no fat) but on the pro side she also has a very small waist line and tight buttocks. But still, I can image her wailing on someone. I was standing behind her yesterday from about 15 yards out and noticed she had her hair pulled up exposing this intricate design of ink on her neck. Huh....it kinda looks familiar. Then it dawns on me....no it isn't...maybe it is....I need to approach. Sure as shit. The closer I get to her trying not to look obvious, I glance more intently on her neck. I was transported back to college....chemistry class that is. There upon her neck, in permanent ink I spied the full drawn out chemcial makeup of what had to be either Ammonia or a more complex compound. Yes, lines both vertical and horizontal that you would only recognize in chemistry connected such things as O2, CH, NH, N3 etc.... What would possess anyone in their right mind to get the chemical makeup of a complex compound and have it placed on THEIR NECK of all places? Next time I see her, I just gotta ask.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Finally.. 

Well what seems to have been forever, April and I finally got intimate last night. I was actually in her neck of the woods visiting a friend. My buddy and I watched some SNL type comedy movie on his Dish network last night and split a bottle of Maker's Mark (premium whisky) and coke. So was feeling pretty darn good when he brought out a DVD that he just bought. It was a 'Gonzo' type amateur film....which basically means it's amateur porn with no scripts, goofy sets, crappy jazz music. Generally it's two good looking people that subcumb to a brief interview and get down to business. So needless to say I was in the mood big time so after I left his place, I was only a few miles from April's house so I dropped by. I think she was a little surprised to see me, but in a good way. I was invited in and noticed that she had been watching TV by herself, and must of recently gotten out of the shower. She had her pulled back in a ponytail and was wearing her, (I'm not sure what you call it), pull over pajamas/dress. Wasn't very flattering, but then again, she wasn't planning on me coming over...she was just relaxing. Once in a while, when I am in the mood like I was last night, I just forego all the small talk, and am somewhat aggressive. Not pushy mind you, but right down to business. I basically stood before her while she sat on her couch and reached out with one outstretched arm. She looked at me quizzically. "Come on.", I said, and grabbed her by the hand and led her to her bedroom. While she wasn't exactly 100% happy with me, she wasn't bummed either. I'm sure she could tell I was a little buzzed as whisky wafted from my breath, and I pretty much didn't ask her permission. She probably figured out by this moment it was a booty call, and within second I more or less tossed her onto her bed, reached under her dress and pulled her panties off. Again, wasting no time I began giving her oral pleasures. I dove right in, but even cold turkey like that, it took a few minutes for her to relax and get into it herself. I played down there for a good ten minutes or so alternating between my fingers and mouth until April had her first orgasm. As she was recuperating, I had quickly disrobed myself and turned her over on all fours. The wood I had been sporting for like the last hour quickly found its mark and I was having a great time. She was a little wetter than usual, and I began to swat her bottom with my bare hand. I don't do this often, but I was an animal last night. I was a little rough and once in a while I am told this is appreciated, but not all the time. I continued this back side thrusting and then grabbed her ponytail with my right hand and pulled back with some strength. April likes this as I could tell from the heightened gasps of breath and the quick yelps. What doesn't help me though was that I was clearly buzzed. Alcohol in that amount can dull the tactile senses. And while I could feel everything, I did have a bit of difficulty reaching climax...you do become numb after a while with alcohol in your system. It was more like 15 minutes into it in which I knew I was sweating like a dog, and my quads were getting sore. If I didn't climax in the next few minutes, I was going to have to give up entirely do to exhaustion. I told April to turn over and face me missionary style in which she complied, and we were at it again. However I knew I was going to fade fast, as I was now thinking too much about the end result. What started as fun was quickly turning into a chore so I asked April to help me a bit more. Basically I had to have her talk a little dirty to me. April normally doesn't do this unless I urge her in that direction, and even her version of talking dirty is like PG-13. I needed some 'R' or 'X' talk to see this through. Finally I got a little 'R' talk from her, which oddly was good enough, and between her broken sentences and catching her breath I finally removed myself from her and climaxed all over her stomach. It was more than I though I had in me, and while I stood back catching my own breath and collecting myself, April began playing with it, swirling it all about. Nice. She has never done that before and it was a turn on I would like to have her repeat someday, but not last night. I was buzzed, exhausted, sensitive, and wanted a hot shower. I rinsed off quickly and April was just behind me as I stepped back out to give herself her own rinse down. Afterwards we returned back to her living room and watched TV until I left later that night. We're supposed to get together again this weekend and as I was leaving her door, she suggested we visit an adult toy store on Saturday. What??? Huh?? This is yet another first. We'll see how that turns out.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

"Please make sure the toilet..... 

....is flushed properly before leaving the stall." No shit. Literally. That's the actual phrase on all the new placards installed in our toilets here at my work. You can't help but stare at them when you are 'dropping the kids off at the pool', and wonder who here doesn't flush the toilet. Not only would I be embarrassed if I didn't, I think it's just down right appalling. Yet it happens. Daily. I don't know how many time I have walked into our facilities to find wads of paper and 'debris' doing the backstroke in the porcelain hot tubs. However, in some people's defense, we do have low water pressure here and to the un-initiated they must learn it takes at least 2 attempts to flush completely. But that's not all. Now, only speaking for the men at my company, we have some real winners (really losers in a sarcastic tone). I don't know how many times I have approached the standing urinal only to look down and find myself wading in a yellow river. How can you miss? You're standing right in front of it. Then there are the guys that feel the need to be on their cell phones, whether it be talking or playing games in the stall. Yes, I have listen to guys play games on their cell phones while sitting next to me. I've even heard the salesmen talking as if they were doing a presentation to unknown clients between grunts and flushes. Heinous no matter how you try to justify it. One good one was yesterday. I was in the stall doing my 'back to nature' thing, when the guy next to me finished and started to unroll the toilet paper: Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll......get the picture? I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. Jezuz, what the hell happened in there where you need that much toilet paper? Then... Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll. Christ!! No wonder the plumber has to come out every few weeks? What the hell was this guy doing? Who needs that much paper? Roll.Roll.Roll.Roll. I never saw who it was leaving. Not sure I want to.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

I'm in summertime re-run mode. 

Well, that's what I feel like. A TV drama or sitcom, in which all its first run episodes for the year have shown, and the last few weeks I feel as if my life has been a re-run and there are no hopes for syndication, not even by UPN. Friday nights BBQ was dull. Well, it was probably more me than anyone else. There was a relatively large turn-out, but I hardly knew anyone. There was really no one single there, or at least my age. Some older 30 couples who brought all their kids. Don't get me wrong, I like kids a lot....I just prefer well behaved ones, and these were not. So I made some excuse to my buddy who threw the thing and left for home early. I was home by 10:30 and was watching tv and went to bed by midnight. Saturday didn't offer too much either. Cleaned house, dishes, laundry, trash, re-potted plants....yes, I re-potted plants. April came over later in the afternoon straight from work, but was visibly tired so I let her sleep in my bed most of the remaining of the day. And just my luck she started her punctuation that day, so no playtime for me...yet again. We just ended the evening by me cooking dinner and eating outside on my patio. Turning the channel yet? Sunday I surprised my parents by stopping by in the morning for some idle chit-chat. Went to the gym, then the pool. The only nice thing about Sunday was the eye-candy at the gym. Nice looking women at 11:00am, and the tans are just beginning to show. If only April would take the gym a bit more seriously....how do I say nicely....she's put a few pounds on lately and knows it herself, but her discipline seriously lacks. Granted she works hard, but she is beginning to have a self-image problem that is rubbing off on me. The more she points it out about herself, the more I begin to take notice myself, and find myself beginning to agree. The thing is, she so has the potential of being hot and chased after, but right now on her down time she no longer wants to get dressed up, do her hair, put on makeup. I miss that....big time...and so I suppose I take notice of other women now, even more so than a few weeks ago. It also doesn't help that I haven't had my world rocked in a few weeks either. And it sure doesn't help when my friend calls me up and says he's got a new amateur DVD he wants me to watch....if you catch my drift. I'd like to think I have a very healthy sex drive right now, but unfortunately while my engine is running and red-lining, my transmission is in nuetral.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Detox 

Well, Wedensday was a bust. April and I had a great time. Her co-workers were very nice to me, and kept getting me drinks. We had a nice meal there as well, but I fingure any solid food that I ate was like a small island in my stomach floating in a vast sea of Jack Daniels. Needless to say, when the evening was winding down, both April and I sauntered back up to the room. Well, it wasn't even 'sauntering' by any normal definition....more like the hallways were guiding us to the room as our shoulders kept bumping into them. Once in the room, I barely remember taking off my clothes and the next thing I knew April woke me up at about 6:30am to tell me she had to go downstairs and there was coffee in the auto-drip in the bathroom. Uggg. I never even made it under the covers. I slept on top of the bed the whole night and now felt like crap. Not really a hangover of epic proportions---no pounding temples that is. But I was jonesing for water in the worst way, and whatever I ate the night before left the most rancid film in my mouth. Ick! I apologised to April....that's not how I envisioned are evening to end. She said she was fine with that, as she was more or less in the same boat, but not as bad as me. So yesterday was detox. Water all day long, no food other than a bowl of soup in the late afternoon and some rice in the evening. I slept like a baby, and today I am supposed to go to a BBQ after work with some old chums. I'm already trying to convince myself that water, ice-tea, and diet soda will be the drink tonight.....but we all know how that goes. April was gonna go, but she can't make it. I'm supposed to see her Saturday now....make dinner at my place, rent a DVD, and just hang out. Atkins, here I come.....one night of binge drinking makes me feel as if I just gained 10 lbs.

Detox 

Well, Wedensday was a bust. April and I had a great time. Her co-workers were very nice to me, and kept getting me drinks. We had a nice meal there as well, but I fingure any solid food that I ate was like a small island in my stomach floating in a vast sea of Jack Daniels. Needless to say, when the evening was winding down, both April and I sauntered back up to the room. Well, it wasn't even 'sauntering' by any normal definition....more like the hallways were guiding us to the room as our shoulders kept bumping into them. Once in the room, I barely remember taking off my clothes and the next thing I knew April woke me up at about 6:30am to tell me she had to go downstairs and there was coffee in the auto-drip in the bathroom. Uggg. I never even made it under the covers. I slept on top of the bed the whole night and now felt like crap. Not really a hangover of epic proportions---no pounding temples that is. But I was jonesing for water in the worst way, and whatever I ate the night before left the most rancid film in my mouth. Ick! I apologised to April....that's not how I envisioned are evening to end. She said she was fine with that, as she was more or less in the same boat, but not as bad as me. So yesterday was detox. Water all day long, no food other than a bowl of soup in the late afternoon and some rice in the evening. I slept like a baby, and today I am supposed to go to a BBQ after work with some old chums. I'm already trying to convince myself that water, ice-tea, and diet soda will be the drink tonight.....but we all know how that goes. April was gonna go, but she can't make it. I'm supposed to see her Saturday now....make dinner at my place, rent a DVD, and just hang out. Atkins, here I come.....one night of binge drinking makes me feel as if I just gained 10 lbs.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Hotel Sex...Why is it so much better? 

What is it about hotel's and motel's and their affect on one's over all libido? Most of the time they have hellacious carpeting and even uglier quilts. No matter how often the maid vacuums and mops, I always have a feeling that place is never as clean as I would want them to be. I'm looking forward to tonight...or at least if history dictates, it should be pretty nice. April is with her work right now doing who knows what for her work, but they put her up in a local hotel that is probably 3.5 stars. She invited me a 'guest' this evening for a function or mixer her company is having with its clients. This means there will be alcohol there as well as finger food and slapping on the backs and I image a whole mess of "atta - boys" from managerial staff and smoke blown from sales personel. Not sure how long that goes on for into the evening, but I know one thing...the late night romp should be fun. Not that I think I am any different, nor do I think April is any different. There is just something about suuroundings that are not your own that makes physical fun that much better. I think back over the years on some of my dalliances with ladies....and those that I've met somewhere for a weekend get-a-way, or some Bed & Breakfast. The sex is sooo much more memorable for whatever reason. I can specifically conju up images of this room, or that room, and the view, and the balcony, and the shower, and the way the bed looked afterwards.....more so than I can remember my own bedroom even if I did it last week. And I have an awesome room. I think our subconsious thought process has something to do with it. It's not 'our' place, so we can act with a certain amount of abandon. Damn, I just remembered that I forgot the digital camera...Shame on me. So hopefully neither one of us will be too tired or too inebriated to let this chance slip by. I like the idea that some of her co-workers may catch me tomorrow morning in the lobby leaving. For that I won't hide.

Women's Shoe Stores - An Untapped Goldmine 

I had the day off work yesterday and was asked to go 'shopping' with a plutonic girl-friend of mine. The deal? If I would go with her she'd buy me a nice lunch....which she did indeed do, but I would have gone anyway. I needed to get outside for a day, look at things I wish to buy and then have conflicts in my head on wether I really need it or not. Anyway, I guess I should have realized that going shopping with a woman would subject me to an inordinate amount of time looking for shoes. Admittedly, I think men and women have polar opposite view points on shoes. Do men like nice shoes? Of course we do. But we like 'our' shoes also functional: Hiking boots, sneakers, work shoes, party shoes, maybe one or two more select shoes, but I think most men have only a handful at most and make them last as long as they can. Women on the other hand, use shoes for all the above plus emotional support and accessorizing 1 day events: shoes 'cause they are just 'cute', because they are depressed, because thier sister had a baby, becuase they had a salad last week, because they have a bbq scheduled one day for two hours on 2005. So as I dreaded yet another shoe store I was being dragged in (they all looked the same to me after 10 stores), I finally had an epiphany...there are some HOT women who shop for shoes (at least in the mid-up scale stores) who are more than willing to keep bending over, taking off there shoes and socks exposing toe rings, lifting thier pants and skirts to show off their tan calves. Once I made this realization....I began to appreciate the appearance of a man in a shoe store who could sit down and view various women secretly from afar as if I was attending my very own fashion show: That's it honey, now turn around and walk down the aisle, then back. Stop, Bend over and show me that thong as you unbuckle that shoe strap. Nice stems by the way. Now I say not all women were 'hot' per-se; for every good looking woman, there was her opposite. Every Ying must have their Yang. But what I noticed was that the mid to up scale stores also were frequented by the mid to up-class women. These included woman wearing more 'do-me' business suits, more atheletic types, more model caliber. Let's just say Nate was lucky he was sitting down a few times after conjuring up images of these ladies directly within reach of me, oblivious I was there staring at them. It was as if they were changing right in front of me, like I was their friend and we are about to have our nails done together and talk about planting posies....sure it was 'PG', but some bordered on 'PG-13", and in my mind I quickly turned those into 'R' and 'XXX'. I'm not telling my friends my new treasure....but the next time I go to the mall, maybe I'll strike up a conversation in a shoe store with a woman who looks as if she can't decide between the heels or the pumps.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Ronald Reagan 

Commentary Ronald Reagan was 93 years old when he died this past week and I think history will look back and view him as a very favorable President. Oh, I know he has his critics and his detractors. There are many who believe that republicans are evil that they scheme to only make the rich richer and be damned with the disenfranchised. Regardless, whether you loved him or hated him, Ronald Reagan did more for the United States and 'shaped' an era which the results can be seen today and will last for many decades in the future. History will look back at the Reagan years and mention the Berlin Wall, Iran, Star Wars, the fall of communism, 'Reaganomics', smaller government, cut-taxes, prosperity, and many, many more. Whereas George Bush Sr. may be remembered for "Read my lips...", and Bill Clinton will be remembered for his infidelity. Think of our history as a nation. George W. Bush is our 43rd president. But in school we were taught of only a few stand-outs: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Nixon, Kennedy, FDR.....maybe Ike and Truman....But when it's all said in done out of our 43 Presidents history only recognizes a handful as memorable. Granted it's only 2004. But I bet in another generation from now or maybe even two, future history books will comment that the Reagan years, 1980-1988, will be looked upon in a very favorable light...where our policies and the way our country was led was a renaissance for the World. You may not like the outcome or the party, but that's not the point.....Reagan was a leader. They are shutting down the Government this Friday. Washington will be putting on its best, and having services with all the stops pulled out, and then he will be flown back to California and buried at his presidential library. Should be quite a spectacle. I hope I can watch it. I'm in my early 30's and even though I was young when he was elected back in 1980, I know I can look back and recognize that he changed our world. Without sounding too odd, and too sappy....I'll admit I was saddened. I modeled a lot of the way I think and how I conduct business based on the examples of Reagan. He was a true American...again, whether you loved him or hated him, no one can deny he was an icon that equated our stance in the world as a great nation and he took crap from no-one. I hope he has found eternal peace now with God. R.I.P.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Typical work call 

Okay, so after hanging here for almost a year, I've been a bit gunshy of disclosing what I do, but I need to share some of the 'funny' moments of my typical day at my profession. And in order to do that, you should know what I do. I've worked in the computer industry for 10+ years and have had various posts at various companies, very large companines that is. I currently work for one of these multi-national conglomerates and work with a very talented team of programmers, troubleshooters, and the technical staff. Heck I am one of the technical staff. Anways, we rotate from our regular jobs here and there and sometimes are called to fill the roll of internal Desk Support meaning we get to help people figure out how they broke their laptop, printer, monitor, application, program, etc. Here's a call today: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::Telephone rings:: Nate: Hello, Helpdesk, Nate speaking. Charles: Hey, this is Charles. I have a laptop that's acting all crazy. Last week I put a new modem in from Dell, 'cause it's a Dell machine. It's pretty new. the modem that is and I installed it myself. Laptop is fairly old. I take it on trips with me for presenataions and such. You know, Word, Slide Shows, interactive demo's, e-mail. I usually fly coast to coast and sometimes to Europe. Anyway, it started acting up. I'll sit on a plane or in a hotel room, or a terminal and turn it off and on. I check e-mail over the corporate VPN. I don't have any IM's or Spam Killers but my Virus Dat's are up-to-date. Actually they are two days old. I try to update them as much as possible, usually before I go on trips, and it seems to be working fine. There's nothing on here except work stuff. All my personal stuff is on my home computer that I share with the wife and kids. No work done on this one.....::5 more minutes of inane balther::....anyway it's not powering up anylonger and just before it shuts down I get this icon in the system tray showing a little plug and electric bolt..... ::5 seconds of awkward silence as I try to recover from this 10 minute life history lesson:: Nate: Your battery is dead. ::5 more awkard seconds of silence:: Charles: Yeah I figures I need to plug it in since I've been traveling. Nate: Good idea. Thank you for calling the Help Desk. Have a good day.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Strong Bad? ...per Heidi 

army
You're the man. You never answer to anyone or
anything, and you definitely won't let anyone
trample all over you. If anything, you trample
all over them. If only you knew how to play
Badminton

Which Strong Bad Email Are YOU?
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