Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Hotel California Part I 

I know, I know....I haven't finished Part 3 of my other story yet, and I promise I'll get there. But I needed to break in with this short story of an experience that happened just this past weekend. My house can be boring at times, not that being frisky is ever boring, but if you tend to be in the same setting 90% of the time, the sense of wonder and excitement can be quickly dulled. That's just one of the reasons why I enjoy meeting new women from time to time....the hope that I will be able to spend the evening at their house and live out memorable encounters in new settings. I feel as if I can be more free for some reason and more creative. Saturday rolled around and I guess I was in the mood already by viewing some hot internet content early in the day and taking care of myself which I do from time to time. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful until one of my 'regular friends' showed up in a limosine!!! No joke....I was greeted with a bottle of champagne that we shared in the back of the limo and drove to a very nice resort hotel where a suite was already waiting for us on the top floor with an ocean view. One thing I don't care for so much about my 'friend' is that she smokes on occasion, but seeing that everything she went through and the trouble of planning this escape I was not about to say a damn word when she lit up. She tends to smoke when she is under a little stress, and especially when she drinks. I know some people may find a gal smoking as extremely sexy and hot, but all I can think about is that I have to kiss an ashtray later....gross...but I'll make an exception tonight. Needless to say the suite was very nice, not 5 stars, but probably 4, and like I said huge with an ocean view. The one thing that I noticed when we walked in was the huge bathroom. It actually had 2 showers. One was a standard shower and tub, the other turned out to be for handicapped people and was large enough to accomodate a wheelchair. I said I needed to take a shower for two reasons: 1) My back was pretty sore and seeing a shower with a padded bench looked to good to be true, and 2) I always believe in being clean if I am going to perform. Nasty smells of body odor and sweat can kill the mood for me quickly. I stepped into the bathroom, removed my shirt, un-did my belt, and dropped my pants. By groin was electric at that moment and my hardness was pressed tightly against by briefs. I removed them as well, and stepped into the very large tiled shower. I sat upon the padded bench, adjusted the water temperature, grabbed a bar of soap and scrubbed up paying close attention to my feet and pubis. (by the way, I do 'manscaping'...a term to describe the fact I trim myself down there for hygiene and looks. Most women like the fact that there is no jungle down there and that I shave my scrotum completely). As I continued to lather up, the door opened and she stood there wearing only a red thong and staring at me. She asked if she could join. Who was I to say 'No."? She sat next to me on the bench and aimed the water spout on her as well. I watched the hot water bounce of her chest and trickly down her body to the drain below, my cock now harder than ever. She grabbed the bar of soap herself and started to lightly rub it over her body as we exchanged a little small talk. I couldn't wait any longer....I reached over with one hand and begin to massage one of her breasts and play with her rock hard nipples. Soon, I found myself placing one of her breasts in my mouth and began to suck until I could feel her hand rubbing my thigh. Her hand began to glide up my leg slightly further until she found my groin, and began a very light tugging at it. I was so turned on at this moment....I commanded her to stand up and face me. As she stood and positioned herself in front of me as I sat, I opened my legs so that one leg of mine was on either side of hers. I began to kiss her stomach and place my free hands on her ass, and circled her belly button with my tongue. I soon leaned back, and used one of my hands to trace out her landing strip. Using my middle finger, I turned my palm face up and began to rub her clit with my finger. One knuckle, then two....my middle finger was inside her and I could tell the difference between wet water, and wet cooch. Wet cooch is slick unlike water and I needed it right now. I ordered her yet again to turn around so that her ass was now facing me and asked her to sit down on my waiting member. She did, and I slid right up in there. She began to bounce ever so slowly, but I had to tell her to stop immediately as I was about to climax before anything even started. So she sat on my lap, with me inside her as I tried to re-focus on other things. I stared at her lower back and noted for the first time that evening she recently had visted a tanning salon, and could see the tan lines of a thong curving down between her cheeks and pointing at her crack. This was too much for me, and I told her to go ahead and begin to bounce....I knew I wouldn't last too much longer and within 1 minute, (yup,....short timer tonight) I came inside her with her permission. After a few contractions she slowly stood and aimed the shower head away from us. She asked me to look at what I saw and describe it to her....I looked down between her legs and saw my milk ooze out and run down the inside of her right leg. Even though she didn't get her cookie right then, I know she was excited to have me explain to her what I was witnessing. She then turned to me again, and asked me to stand and she washed not only herself, but rinsed my manhood off as well. She asked me to dryoff and find something in the mini-bar and to recover for a few minutes because it was soon to be her turn for her cookie.... To be continued...

Life Interupted 

Sorry it has been a few days since my last blog, but I was wisked out of town for a few days with a lover, and also burned up a few vacation days to boot doing errands and watching movies. Still plan on finishing my Hailing Holly story, but also have to tell you about my weekend which consisted of sex at least three times. However, being gone for a week means I have to catch up on e-mail and the like so hopefully I can post later today. -Nate

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Hailing Holly Part II 

The night started out just like any number of the string of boring evenings I had been having lately. After work, I sit in traffic of upwards of an hour, get home, unwind with a little mindless late afternoon sitcoms and watch my then gluttonous and sloppy room mate go about his predictable quirks. I shouldn't criticize him so much, as I was pretty predictable those days too. I lived in a two story condo/apartment at the time. The two bedrooms upstairs, while the living room kitchen, and garage and patio were downstairs. It wasn't my favorite place in the world....my room mate was a slob, the area was very noisy, lousy parking, but was made tolerable only by the low rent. Anyway, like most nights, my room mate had called it a relatively early evening and headed up to his room, leaving me with the remote, flipping through channels, not paying any real attention to anything. ::Knock, Knock:: Huh? Someone is at my door, on a Thursday evening. Probably just the neighbor with the complaint of the week. I got up and opened my door and was in for quite a surprise. There Holly stood with a couple of six packs and this long coat that covered up her body except her legs. Totally taken aback, I admit I probably didn't look presentable at all. I was wearing a wrinkled T-shirt, sweat short, hair undone, unshaven. "Come in", I said still sorta speechless. Holly came in and said she had been thinking about me, and that she was bored so she went out and bought some Russian White Chocolate Ale...a type of desert beer. While placing the beer on the table she went to remove her coat, and that is where I was totally stunned. Underneath her coat she was basically wearing a cute white tight T-shirt herself and silver hot pants, and when I say hot pants, the kind that strippers wear. I admit though, it looked slightly awkward on her, as she was very tall and skinny and very pale, it was obvious that she never wore these much. She offered me a beer and we both sat down on the couch. Some small talk ensued, about what I am not sure, but I was enjoying a very different beer and entertaining the ideas in my head on what may about to happen. Soon, we began to kiss a little, our tongues twirling around each other, and she finally straddled me on the couch facing me. Our kisses became more deep and a little more lengthier, interrupted by another swig on our bottles and a few innocent giggles. My right hand had found her left ass cheek and I began to rub it feeling this shiny silver material in my palm. Her hands had rubbed my chest, my hair, my biceps and the longer this continued, I could feel my short stirring. I was slowly, but surely getting aroused and couldn't really hide it much longer. She looked down at me sensing the bulge in my sweats, smiled, and asked if I wanted to show her my room. Okay. I led her up the stairs and into my room, the cleanest room in the house no doubt. And I showed her my bed, my twin bed. Being a little embarrassed that I only owned a twin bed, I realized that this is a girl who owns no furniture, so my twin was probably a godsend that evening. It wasn't long before my shirt was off and I stood before Holly with my sweat shorts pitching a tent. She was very sly and smirky that whole time. She sat on the edge of my bed, holding my hand with one of hers, holding her own beer with another. She took one more swig of ale, placed the bottle down on the nightstand, and then began to kiss my stomach as I still stood in front of her. The kisses were soon replaced by some open mouth placements, and tongue drags around my belly. I could hear her breath becoming deep, and my thoughts soon became lost in what I figured was about to happen. I allowed my eyes to lose a little focus and roll back just slightly in my head as I felt the elastic band of my waist being tugged at, and then down. There it was, my penis was exposed to the air of my room, standing tall and tingly, only inches from her face when she opened her warm mouth and decided to suck me off. My balance wavered for a brief second and then I registered the warm, wet sensation of saliva and tongue wrapped around my manhood. Placing one of my hands behind her head to feel her hair between my fingers, she continued her efforts alternating between licking and sucking. I loved the feel of her giving me head with all its warmth, but then when she began to lick, I would feel the cool night air on my dick. I also liked the fact that she used her hands from time to time. Sometimes using her hands to pull me into her mouth, other times, massaging my testicles and stroking me. The whole thing must have only lasted 5-7 minutes, for that spider-sense began to tingle and I knew I was going to climax. Not sure if she would swallow or not, I didn't really want to give her the choice. I fought the sensation as long as I could, but at that critical moment where I was at the point of no return, I quickly took my right hand and grabbed my manhood out of her mouth and shot my load all over her neck and T-shirt. I guess it had really been awhile, since there was a lot of it, and it was very intense for me. I looked down at her, wondering if she was mad for what I just did, and trying to make an apologetic face, and was happy to see that not only was she okay with it, Holly seemed to like it. "Um, sorry about your shirt..." I said sheepishly. "It's okay Nathan. I'll just take the shirt off. Besides it's my turn anyway....." To be continued...

Monday, October 20, 2003

Hailing Holly Part I 

I'm pretty depressed today. The weekend started very well, and actually all was running pretty smoothly until last night. I got in a pretty major argument with a friend that could have easily been avoided, but sometimes friends feel they need to interject their thoughts into a subject where it wasn't wanted or asked for.....hence the argument. It was pretty bad, and really had me angrier than I had been in a real long time. So naturally I had trouble sleeping, and when I woke up, I was feeling depressed. Some of my co-workers have already pointed this out as I sit in my office, super quiet, sipping coffee, and listening to relaxing music. So, I decided to take my mind off things by offering up this true story about a gal I met a few years back over the Internet on a regular dating site. Her name was Holly, and I can't remember if she wrote me first or I wrote her,a nd I don't remember too much of our first few telephone conversations or correspondance via e-mail. Was probably very generic and mundane topics as they usually are at first....never wanting to rock the boat or expose too much of one self. Our first date consisted of me driving to the house where she rented a room and she was going to make me a small dinner, and then we'd go out for drinks somewhere in the area. The house was impressive from outside, and I wasn't sure what really to expect. I rang the doorbell, and Holly answered. Not exactly what I was expecting....Tall and very skinny (almost unhealthy skinny), dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, very little makeup. Her clothes were nothing fancy, sorta that tomboy look. Not exactly my type perse, but she seemed nice and I was single, and sometimes first impressions are wrong. Over the next hour or so I was in for quite a shock. Apparantly she had moved out here not too long ago from the east coast with a degree and background in computer art. She wanted to be a graphic designer and work on web sites, but works right now was contractual and she only worked a few days a week. She explained she rented a room in the house with three other people, and when she showed me her room I was speechless.... It was literally (no joke here) a matress on the floor covered with a few blankets. No pictures, no posters, no furniture, no decorations, no gadgets.....nothing!!!! I started to have second thoughts about this date.....she has no money. Dinner was very cheap and crappy taco's. You know the packets of seasoning for $0.79 that you add to ground beef. The pre-shredded iceberg lettuce, and very stale corn shells. Yup, no side of rice and beans, no fancy salsa, no dinner plates.....we ate of paper plates. I definetly knew this wasn't going to get better any time soon. Not this date, nor any dates in the forseable future. After a quick dinner, I thought it'd be better to leave her place behind and go out. This would be my time to shine I guess. If I bought a few fancy drinks for us and a nice bar, she would be easily impressed I figured. Well, in yet anotehr suprising twist I learned Holly did not like wine, nor cocktails. She liked beer. She was a microbrew and import afficiando. She knew her beer and could drink any guy to shame. Finally something that was interesting and fascinating. We spent the rest of the night talking about our favorite beers....and I learned that she loved golf. In her free time, which she seemed to have a lot of currently with her sporadic work, she played 9 holes and was pretty good. She was optimistic about getting a permanent job soon, and at least I know she tried.....she didn't sit on her duff. I guess when you have no money, and actually want furniture, you are a lot more inclined to find a job. Over the next few weeks, we went out here and there. We 'dated' for all intents and purposes, but nothing ever serious, nor did anything seriously physical happen either. We kissed here and there, but her lack of a proper room, and the fact that she never spent the night over at my apartment for one reason or another never lent the mood for something more to happen. I think we were both happy at the time to get out of the house in the evenings, someone to talk to, someone to have a beer with, and just hang-out with no expectations.... ....Until that one night she took the initiative and really suprised me.....to be coninued in Part II

Friday, October 17, 2003

Internet Guilt 

I've always frowned upon prostitution. I never understood people actually 'paying' for sex, well....that is most people. I suppose it's not too terribly un-understandable (is that a word?), if you really were socially inept, or were disfigured, or horrible to look at. But that's in extreme circumstances. Most men and women, if given the time and energy can clean-up pretty well, and with any semblance of hygiene, manners, and fashion sense should be able to 'hook-up' from time to time. And if paying for a male or female prostitute is too much and demeaning, there is always videos...which I have quite a collection of. Some I don't even watch anymore and can't even tell you what's on them, but I just can't bear to throw them out. They are like a collection, something I took great pride in over the years, picking only the cream of the crop. I proudly boast I own nothing with Ron Jeremy (he's disgusting), and only have the best looking women. I especially like amateur stuff, or the new fad 'gonzo'. No stupid storylines, no Muzak soundtracks, no outlandish scenarios....just good looking men and women who get down to business. And I have no guilt. Then there is the Internet. My boon. My achilles heal. My occasional money sink. Last night when I got home, I dropped $2.95 on a three day trial subscription, and $19.95 on a one month membership at another site. Then I sat in front of my computer and downloaded MPG's, JPG's, AVI's and more for three hours. 3 Hours!!! When I was done, I looked at the size of my downloads: both averaged 430 MB each. 430 each!!. That was me basically right-clicking and saving to HD hundreds of times, only so I can catalog them and burn them on disc for future viewing. That's right....I spent so much time downloading, I barely got to view said material. Oh, I did view some, and boy was it good. I was very horny, but that sexual feeling was muted by the fact I felt obligated to press on and download more, like a greedy schoolboy, because I was now paying for it. $22.90 was spent for roughly 860 MB of skin bliss. Finally, I watched one downloaded movie with a VERY attractive young female and her husband from one of these amateur sites. And I arrived at climax when they did. I was happy for about 30 seconds. Then guilt hit. I paid $22.90 for that. I cancelled both accounts. I still plan on burning CD's with the content...hell, I did pay for it, and I will enjoy the other movies in the future. However, I can't believe I just paid for it. I can make a call right now and set up a date with a real person, but instead I chose some elusive Penthouse quality model that I will never meet in real life, and I participated with her, neither of us swapping names or eye-contact, and separated by a 17 inch glass screen. For that brief moment in time, I was in love with the unreal...a fantasy. Even though I feel pathetic right now, we both know in the future I will probably do it again, with a new girl, on a new site. Funny how I know I can control my guilt with a simple click of a few mouse buttons, yet I do it anyway.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

The Bachelor 

Reality TV fascinates me. Plain and simple. My favorite is Survivor, and I admit I like Big Brother (too bad I hated both Jun and Allison of season 4), but I really find the ones about relationships intriguing and addictive. There's been Joe Millionaire, Cupid, Race to the Altar, Meet My Parents, etc....but I must admit The Bachelor sucks me in no matter how hard I fight it. Good thing West Wind wasn't on, because I watched Rob whittle down 10 women down to 6. The concept that a man can 'date' 24 women simultaneously and every week the field gets smaller and smaller for a grand prize of purported love and money brings the best and worst out of everyone. I like Rob. He seems very down to earth, and a sincere guy...the average Joe. Not poor, not wealthy. Not a GQ model, but not Uncle Elmer either. Seems to have a really good sense of humor, and can poke fun at himself, and seems like he truly has in interest in finding love. But the idea that this 'average' guy gets a TV studio to treat him like a king for a few weeks, paying for everything, and setting him up on lavish and romantic dates is not only over the top, but unreal. I'm envious. He's a lucky bastard. He has great charisma which brought him to the show in the 1st place, and he is surrounded by beautiful women, and has his chance to 'make-out' with each of them on a regular basis (which he does....good for him) back to back and sometimes in front of each other, and the some of the women are going ga-ga for him. I believe in true love. I believe in having a soul mate. I believe that there is someone for everyone eventually, so don't screw it up when it comes along. With that said, I find the women on The Bachelor not only ludicrous, but materialistic, and it bothers me to an extent in finding love this way. Am I saying this method is wrong? No, but unrealistic. These women claim to be falling for Rob, and falling fast. If they were not on TV with a possible prize at the end, would they still fall for him? If so, then why does it take a TV show for women to fall in love? Why did they not fall in love with him before? Why were not women throwing themselves at Rob before, and why 'if he is so great', been single this whole time? The missing ingredient: Money and TV. If Rob was not on TV, did not have these uber-dates fully funded by ABC, would these women approach him in a bar or elsewhere and want to date him? My guess is NO. So the women: admittedly, some are very hot. Some are in my book above average, but none are a real slice of people out there. They are brought onto the show for their looks.... Some are smart, some are not....but we're looking for love. So day after day, they parade in front of Rob in bikini's, elegant dresses, pajamas. Usually there is alcohol involved, and extravagant settings. Good for Rob. He's living a fantasy, and these women are willing participants. Last night he had to send 4 home. I agreed with his choices 90%. He kept Leanne. I thought she should be sent packing. She put Rob on the spot and came across whiney and selfish and a tad bitchy. Her strategy worked.....on Rob. Not me. But in the end I'm amazed that these, dare I say, 'Playboy Bunnies' actually believe they are falling in love after a few weeks. So I question this love. Again, if it weren't for TV and money, if Rob were to go out in public and meet them, I find it hard to believe that these 10 (out of the 24) would think he was marriage material or rush home and call their friends claiming "He's the one", like they are now. But I admit.....I'll continue to watch. It's interesting to see these women react when the others get slightly more attention than they are, or when Rob kisses one, knowing that another girl just kissed him. In the real world, women have a name for us: Players. And they have a name for other women :Skank. Funny how that works, no?

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Steaming Mad 

Had a not so interesting encounter with a peer employee this morning stemming from a teleconference we had yesterday. Every week, our site along with a few other local sister sites participate in a real-time discussion over a conference call about issues of the week and upcoming issues as well. Steve is one of my 'peers' who works at a sister site and we've generally gotten along very well over the past few years. Anyway, Steve, is indeed under pressure and is understaffed at his office. And Steve and Jim (who works with Steve) let us know that every week,....multiple times. "We need another person." or "We're behind in work 'cause there is not enough hands". "We may need to work overtime or this upcoming weekend" or "I worked 12 hours yesterday"...Get the picture? Good. So Gina is a temporary employee that floats from office to office on occasion, and from what I understand can be a little egotistical and difficult, but the point is, she works and gets the job done. But I guess Steve worked with Gina once (yes, 1 time) before, and didn't care for her. Anyways, the big boss suggests on the teleconference that Gina could work at Steve's office tomorrow, in which Steve quickly said "NO." This is where I come in over the phone.....: "Uh, why? You're always saying that you are understaffed and Boss man hands you Gina and you say 'NO'"? I should have kept my mouth shut... This morning I went over to our sister company and had to perform some jobs today where Steve greeted me in the hallway. I knew he was mad..... "Dude, was that you who made that comment yesterday?" "Yes", both of us knowing it was indeed me. "That was really jacked up, and uncalled for in front of the group. That was very sarcastic and smart-assed" (his face red and eyes stern) "Steve, if you want me to apologize, I'm sorry"....pause....pause... "If you have something to say to me, say it to my face, not behind my back" (sounding very angry) "Well, I didn't mean for you to take it so personally. It wasn't to be mean, however, all I hear from you is complaining that you never have enough hands, and here someone is presented in your lap, and you turn it down. It was begging for a comment, and it wasn't behind your back....we were on a teleconference and everyone heard me....." We left it that and I continued my work, and while there was still tension between us, it started to get better by the time I left. But I still have to laugh in retrospect, and now I fear, our 'freindship' is a little damaged.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Communicating with Nathan 

I urge you all who stumble across my blog to feel free and e-mail me, you might be surprised on what I may say in return. Yeah, see that link to the right margin that says Write Nathan ? That's me!! Also I added the ability for you all to add comments to my posts, with a free service provided by Haloscan. At the bottom of each post like this, click the comment link and fire away your blurb. Who knows, I may even respond to those. Since I am still learning how to blog, hopefully you'll see improvements over time, and I really do encourage you to rate me as well and include my link on your blog. Write me, and I'll include your link on my page.

Removing Recognition 

I protect my secret identity pretty well. And I protect my dual lifestyle pretty well. As a matter of fact, even my best friends really have no idea that I belong to a swing site, or that I have particpated in a few casual encounters over the years. At times, the secrecy is hard to maintain. I'm always afraid that someday I will slip up and leave behind a business card, or receipt, or some momento that may tip someone off. I scour my home computer regularly, and sanitize my e-mails. Upon meets I empty key items from my wallet, just in case, and I am always keenly alert. Sometimes too alert that I may seem odd to people. I never drink too much as to keep my wits about me, but even with all that I still fear discovery. So today, I removed myself from the swing site and my picture. Not too much of a loss I suppose as the site mainly catered to couples looking for single women. I'd say about 95% of the ads stated 'NO MEN', or 'Seeking Bi-female'....with that percentage it really is not in my favor to keep a payment plan open. Though I did meet a few single women on that site, and a few odd couples that in the end I never particpated with, the responses were slim and few and often weeks apart. I was one single, clean, drug free man, with no criminal history and in great shape amongst divorcees, cheaters, chauvinist pigs,a nd down right embarassments to mankind. Get the picture.....? A needle in the haystack. But I recognized someone on there today, that I had a casual friendship with only a few short years ago. She was the girlfriend of a woman I dated just a few years ago. She actually slept with my room mate back then as well. Well, it appears she is married now, and her new husband and herself have decided to broaden their experiences and became members of the site I was on. And guess what....? They were looking for a Bi-female. Damn!! If I only new back then Z was a player....I woudl have tried to work something out. She had and still appears to have a great body. My friend told me she gave the best head ever in his life....He would often awaken in the middle of the night finding his manhood swollen in her mouth....one of her favorite pastimes I imagine. So even though her pictures and ad was relatively tame, there she was. And if I came across her and recognized her, she would surely recognize me in due time. Since we still have friends in common, I just yanked my ad. An end to a personal era, but I guess I needed some time off from that useless site anyway. Perhaps I will return in 6 months time to look for new blood, or maybe I'll be lucky and find someone in my casual life who wishes to experiment with a 'bi-female'. But in the meantime, Nathan has left the building....

Monday, October 13, 2003

Topic Tantrums 

As my day went on today, it did get better. My car is ready at the dealership and it wasn't as bad as I first anticipated, but I still owe money. Oh well. Been busy at work for the most part today, odd loose end calls have trickled in, and I've been off here and there fixing them. When I am back at my desk, I read more sexual orientated blogs. Some are still downright boring, while others oddly turn me on. Some are classy, others sophisticated, while even more are down right raunchy or incoherent babblings. So I sit here before you all wondering what my next topic will be. Do I dare write about another true life adventure of mine, and if so, which one? Do I comment on the blogs I've read of married couples, or the single girls out on the prowl, or the fascinating ones that lesbians contribute. Speaking of lesbians, I guess it's my bad that I picture all of them mentally in my head as 'lipstick lesbians', you know the ultra-hot ones you see in porno's, however, I have never met a real life smoking hot lesbian. All the one's I know could be professional wrestlers, or have so many self worth and self esteem issues, they rebel to fashion. That is they denounce makeup, feminine haircuts, and sexy clothing and opt for mullets, tattoos, and dry skin. I also think about my blog here. I really want to entertain you with my true life stories, and not just entertain, but to really express how I feel about certain topics. I'd also like to contribute real-life pictures, but I'll admit right now I'm afraid of someone recognizing me. I also want to go home and view porn right now....or play a video game. I was reading someone elses blog today about porn, and it's true...the only worthwhile sites are pay sites and every year the price creep up, the updates are sporadic, and I am inundated with pop-ups or spam e-mail that floods my boxes with untrue tails, boasts, and brags. I really want a three-some. But with a couple I do not know. Preferably two women, but I doubt that will ever happen. A possibility with a man and a woman, as long as they know I am straight, but it seems that other couples are just seeking women. Am I sexually frustrated? Yes and no. I do have sex, more often that most average people other that married couples I suppose. But I have fantasies that have yet to be realized, or the women I date are very vanilla and just boring after the 1st few times. I only had a few exciting girls in my life, but damn, they were so screwed up in the head....they remind of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. However, they were some of the best times and memories I ever had.


You ever have a muscle spasm that you can't explain? Most muscle spasms for me are of an involuntary measure, which is generally a muscle that contracts and relaxes repeatedly and lasts a few minutes at most. I know there is some electro-chemical science of the body behind it, in which I can't explain, but it still fascinates me none the less. However, I started this Monday off on a bad note. It actually started last night. or even the night before. Seems Saturday night I had very little sleep which left me very lathargic on Sunday. The warm weather on Sunday didn't help and I couldn't take a nap during the day which I badly needed. Last night my I spoke with my mother who just goes on and on and on about mundane stuff. I don't want to be rude or disrepectful towards her, so I just listen....and listen...and keep my mouth shut....and listen...and pray it will all be over soon enough... So my sleep was restless last night too, and on top of that my car was dead this morning. Had to have it jumped and drove it down to the dealership where I am sure I will be raped later today. As I was driving to the delearship, my cell phone rang and I got more useless talk from my mother. Upon finally arriving at work, I noticed my partner did come in again today with no call or note and locked me out of my own computer which I am still awaiting for the IT group to release my password so I can log in. So needless to say, my left bicep has been twitching on and off for the past 3 hours. A personal record I may add. It's definetly stress related, and the sheer feeling of hoplessness of this day. So I just watch my arm...twitch...twitch...twitch....

Thursday, October 09, 2003


Pretty boring day today. Overcast, despite weather man claiming it will be 85 degrees. More like 68 degrees. Actually busy today at work, and because of that have yet to have lunch yet and I'm growling. 3 more hours of work today and I'm off tomorrow. Contacted a few other sexually-orientated blogs asking if they woudl include my link for more exposure, but no response yet. Can't ya help a guy out?

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Lunchtime Loafers 

Okay, I'm seriously on a blog roll today. Took a slightly late lunch and drove to one of the local burger franchises. Because I'm trying to watch my weight, I order two burgers 'protein' style, i.e. with out the bun. The burger is wrapped in lettuce to avoid those evil carbs that contribute to a mans middle girth. So, after I get my receipt I took a look around and saw this place was pretty full of teenagers of both sexes. Did I look that awkward as a geeky male at 17-19 years of age? Probably, but that was the 80's and hair styles were different. Today most of the guys have a psuedo skin head look, or about 3-4 days of stubble growth, and jeans or shorts half way down their ass. Sorry, I think I'm pretty hip still, and wear pretty nice clothes, but I don't get this jeans around the ass look and never will. A few girls were in there as well. Some 'cute', some 'trying' to be cute, and some that just are blah and plain jane. Wonder why there were all there, other than the obvious lunch statement. It was a school day. It was 1:11pm. There is no school close by...... Anyway, back to the girls. It is interesting to see young 16-18 year old girls express their sexuality through thier looks. That is to say the choice of clothes they where, what they purposely reveal, how they walk, and how clothes awkwardly hang. There was a young asian gal who was showing her flat stomach which was nice, but it was pretty obvious she was trying to be noticed, and it was amusing to watch her calculated 'stride'. I sit and wonder how many have had sex yet, or want to try, or what they fantasize about. I try to remember when I was that age and the first few 'encounters' I had with girls,...that strange feeling when we touched, or how are hands fumbled around testing the waters. I miss that at times, but glad it's over. As I was sitting outside, I did take note of one other asian girl. I can't say that I am overly attracted to asian girls. Generally I find them too petite, too pale, and no real shape to thier chest or ass. There are a few rare exceptions, but today I was blown away by a vision... She had to be early to mid 20's. She wasn't exactly asian, but a mix, like Hawaiian and Philepino. She had an incredible tan, like a Hawaiin Tropic girl, and long brunette hair with sun-streaked highlights. She wore nice sun glasses that were perched upon her button nose, and a delicious shade of frosted pink lipstick on a flawless face. She wore hot pink sweat pants that just hung on her waist, and Uggh boots. Her ass was perfect....tight, and the sweats revealed no hint of undergarments. Her top was a whitish-grey t-shirt from some college, and slightly faded, but she obviously had implants. They didn't move, but what was perfect compliment to her was her confidence. She walked straight with purpose, flinging her hair to one side, not caring if anyone was staring at her or not. I sit there just wondering what her sex life is like, what she likes and doesn't like, and I try to pretend I know her thoughts and how she 'plays'. I picture a nice tribal tattoo somewhere and even a genital piercing. She looks like she's a moaner and like to both take command one minute, and be submissive the next. Where do I come up with all this? I don't know, I could totally be way off, but that's my imagination....no?

MILF matters 

I first learned what MILF means back in about 1991 or so. I had a summer job at a well known retail fashion chain, and unfortunately I had to share a shift with a little arrogant dude who thought he was the American version of George Michael...always fixing his hair and made sure he always had no more, or no less than 1.5 days worth of stuble. His real insecurity was that he was short, but I give him credit....he was always working an angle. Anyway, a nice 'soccer mom' walks in with her pre-teen and does her kids back to school shopping. After leaving the store 'George' turns to me and says...."What a MILF, huh?", looking to me for agreement. "MILF?" I say. "I don't know the term..." "And you go to college?" he snickered. Well, he finally explained the acronym to me and I since added that term very sparingly to my vocabulary. So what does that mean today? Well, I have worked at the same company for years and have had the pleasure of working along side some attractive women, some I dated, some I did not, but the last few years it has been slim pickins on the eye candy aspect. However, I never really noticed Mindy before yesterday. Mindy has worked at this company for a few years now as an office manager and she is really good at her job, actually she is probably one of the best. I have the opportunity to work with her on a few occasions, and she is always pleasant and treated me as an equal. She can become overly frazzled at times for no reason, but I truly believe that her department takes advantage of her and doesn't give her her due credit. In the past I've always looked at Mindy as sort of the 'mousy', 'librarian' type. She is somewhat tall, and skinny, wears glasses, long blonde hair, and tends to wear sunday school type dresses. But underneath that generic facade, I always thought she may be attractive, like those shool boy fantasies where you believe your 7th grade teacher is hot. I knew Mindy was married and has a few children, but that was about it. Yesterday, my perspective of her changed quite radically, or shall I say, Mindy lifted a veil of herself and was more frank with me than ever. We were working on a project together yesterday and when I first walked into her office, I say I had to a take a secret double-take. Her glasses were still there, as was a very beautiful tan (she and her husband had gone to Hawaii a few weeks back), but a new outfit really revealed her body for the first time. As she stood to greet me, I saw black 4 inch heels, very smooth and shapely legs and nice calves. Her skirt was plain black and about 3/4 of the way down her thighs and hugged a very slim waist and trim buttocks. Her forest green cotton long sleeve shirt clung to her body as a second skin, really accentuating her well-rounded and gravity defying breasts. WOW! She led me around to different rooms for inventory purposes, and I followed a few steps behind her always staring at her backside. Was that a hint of a thong I could barely see? Were her normally hidden breasts well done implants or was she in such good shape, that they were perfect to begin with? Knowing that she was married and I would never break up any family, on top of we work for the same company I know that we would never be anything but friends. However, I couldn't help but have some indecent thoughts on the type of panties she may be wearing, and how she manicured herself down there. She opened up a little to me and revealed that she was married at 21 and that was 19 years ago. A quick mental calculation was that she was 40, but lemme tell you, age would not be an issue here. We continued to talk for a while, sharing our outlook on the company, family, hobbies, etc. The whole time she was speaking to me, I was stealing glances at her chest and waist, and it was driving me nuts. That was yesterday, and I'm still thinking about her.....I love the term MILF, for Mindy would be one of my 1st picks.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Dysfunctional functioning 

So work was very slow yesterday. Seems like half the crew is taking personal days, which in turn generates even less work for me. So in my slow times I read articles, CNN.com, other web sites, visit other co-workers, clean my office, etc. I know it sounds like I don't work, and at times I'll admit I don't. But when I do work, I work hard and long hours. So what was that lead in all about? Well, I'm slow again today, and a lot of people didn't come in yet again. So I began to peruse websites again, but I'm trying to minimize my dirty viewing habits here at work. Usually just blogs and tame girly sites...more bikini models and stuff of that nature. As I was at work yesterday, my 'friend' which I told you about yesterday called me up and wanted to make me dinner. Sure, why not? I'll never pass up when someone wants to cook for me, and I kinda figured in the back of my head that she may want a round two of the night before. So after work and a few chores about town, I came home, showered, and placed some music on in the background as I did some computer work and sifted through bills. My friend shows up with a backback which I just assume has some toiletries and cooking gear. I crack a beer and she opens a bottle of wine. A little small talk ensues and she says she is about to make dinner. She leaves my company and heads for the kitchen where she prepares a very nice mexican dish for us and calls me out for dinner. After we both eat and consume a little more wine, she clears the plates and tidies up the kitchen. I continue to sit on the couch in my shorts and tank top. She says she is going to take a shower. Okay with me,.... seems a little presumptious on her part...., but I think I know what may happen so I just continue to sip wine and listen to music. After about 20 minutes, she walks back into the living room, holding a bottle of massage oil in one hand, a blanket from my bed in the other, and is wearing this gorgeous silk or satin short kimono. She also let her hair get slightly messy, (a look I really enjoy) and looked fabulos all the way around. Her olive skin was enhanced by the new lamps I bought and the earth color walls I had recently painted....very warm. She commanded me to take off my tank top and proceeded to give me one of her best massages ever. She has given me massages before, however, I wouldn't consider them really great. She never put the 'umph' into them or used her strength, so my back and shoulders never really felt kneeded or satisfied. I brought this up to her last time, and I guess she listened because she tried a lot harder to use her strength and it showed. Anyway, after about a 10-15 minute massagem she directed me to lie on the blanket on the floor. As she stood over me towards my feet, she undid the kimono tie and revealed a very sexy see-thru mesh bra and panty set. These are clearly not functional, other than being eye candy for some sex starved guy like me. Very nice. She got down on her knees and began to kiss me on the lips, the cheek, the neck. Her hands found my zipper and button and undid them both and slowly, but efficeintly, removed my shorts and boxers and began to give me an oral exam. I stared at the ceiling as I grew in her mouth and tried my best to enjoy the wet and warm sensations. However, a little fear was creeping into me about the night before and I was starting to catch myself beginning to analyze the situation. Damn IT!! I can't let this happen to me again. She soon tried to mount me, but I encouraged her to move forward and to straddle my face instead hoping that my reciprocation of oral favors would excite me more and I wouldn't have a hard time climaxing later. I did this for about 5 minutes until she wanted to turn it around and play '69'. This was a double edged sword...generally I enjoy this very much, but tonight I wasn't sure I enjoyed it or not: I enjoyed working on her and eventually brought her to her 1st orgasm, however, I being on the receiving end was once again subjected to her un-natural rhythm when man-handling me. At times, it would take the enjoyment right out of me, and actually made me more uncomfortable than excited. There's nothing worse then being almost at the breaking point, than when tactile tactics are changed up and the body has to re-adjust to a sensation that borders on half tickle, half pain. So I quickly got out of that position after her climax, brought her to the couch, told her to ge on her knees and face the couch bent over, and I'll take care of the rest. She did as she was told, and I then proceeded to enter her from behind and try to admire my handy work as I watched my slowed down strokes. Then I had an idea.......I asked her to place her hands behind her back. When she did, I grabbed one in each hand, like I was pulling on the reigns of a horse (no she is not a horse, it's just an analogy to draw you, the reader, a picture) and then began to more forcefully inject her with myself. Worked pretty well, as within a few minutes that unmistakable feeling came, and so did I. I think she was pleased, as it seemed to erase the sort of debacle that transpired the evening before. With that said, I got up to get a warm wash cloth to clean ourselves with. One thing I don't like is gooey body fluids all over the place when there is no longer a need for it.

Monday, October 06, 2003

What a weekend....The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly 

It's nice to catch up with old friends. It seems lately I've been down in the dumps and needed to be snapped back into some old fashioned male testosterone. Met a few of my guy friends the other night for dinenr and drinks. Pretty good time by all, slight hangover on Saturday. Didn't do much on Saturday but was on Microsoft Tech Support via the phone for over an hour. See I bought a computer and it came pre-loaded with MS software, but I noticed that on some internet sites, the MS Media Player 9 will not issue sound, or will not play at all. You can imagine that this disturbes me as I used to view certain web-cams and adult sites with movies that I can no longer watch. By installing Real Player One, this helped with some sites that offer the dual option of using either player, but those that specifically use MS Media Player, I'm hosed. Not all sites mind you, but the 'good' ones I like. So they charge $35 for Tech Support and a technician tries to recreate the problem with you. I have XP home edition, and it's kinda embarassing talking to a tech support guy and he asks what site am I viewing, and I respond "uh....porn". He laughs at me, and says he can't go to those sites for employment reasons. So the end all...I am charged $35 for no help, problem still exists. I am feeling very guilty about SexyXOXO. Been over two weeks now since I contacted her and vice versa. I thinks she may be slightly mad, but I have a real reason....there was a death in my family the day before I was supposed to call her and discuss a meet. I was depressed and wanted to be left alone, so I didn't call.....and time moved on. If I tried to call now, she may just hang up on me, so I don't call for fear of retribution or rejection, though her tasty body is on my mind again. So needless to say, I've been feeling a little horny lately after think about her and adult web sites, and talking about sex with my friends, and thinking to myself that all TV is geared towards sex right now. Nip/Tuck, E! Wild On, Howard Stern, Man Show, Coupling...etc...etc...etc... It's all over. So what did I do yesterday? Went to the well if you will. Met up with a girlfriend of a few years over the weekend and I thought I really wanted sex. I know she did and was a willing participant. As we were laying down she started to massage my manhood and I was getting aroused, so I sat up and began to undo her pants and take off her panties. Within minutes she has arrived at her first orgasm with me just using my one hand. She wanted to reciprocate, but 'handling' my littel-man is an art. I see what I think may be the proper way in movies, and I know what I do to myself, but no matter how hard she tried...she couldn't replicate the right rythym and at times it was even uncomfortable. Changing tactics, she mounted me thinking this would help....All it did was get her a second cookie and me getting frustrated after 15 minutes or so. So we changed positions... Doggie, missionary, side ways....10 more minutes and I'm not even sure if I am coming close. I actually become my own worst enemy at this point, and my thoughts drift off sex in the present to thinking I may need to see a shrink to resolve my issues. I say my 'issues', because this has happened to me more than a few times, and more frequently. I get super turned on, I think about it, and when I am actually doing the act even though I am at full attention, I can't 'arrive', if you will. What's even worse is that my frustration, no matter how hard I try to hide it, still seems to give off a vibe, because I could sense my friend was strating to get down on herself for not being able for me to achieve my goal.....like she wasn't good enough...or she thought she wasn't turning me on enough. So I said I needed a few minute rest...that my legs were getting sore and tired, and the truth was they were. So we sat still for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. Maybe 5 minutes or so passed, and I decided to give it one more try. Sure enough, I came in from the side this time, and with 5 minutes I climaxed all over her rear. I can't figure it out, but I know my friend was relieved. So getting back to my shrink theory....Am I under a lot of undue stress? Lately I think I am, but only if I really think about it. I do have a lot of issues right now in my head when it comes with work, my life, my family, my friends that it can drive one to drink. I'm in great shape otherwise. So, maybe I just too conditioned on porn. Maybe I need to stop looking at the fake world and re-adjust to the 'real world' and not some fantasy. Maybe I need a partner who is just a tad but more nasty in bed....My friend is good, but she doesn't moan or scream overly loud, she doesn't do 'dirty talk', and not really into sexy lingerie or sexy strip teases, or sexy posturing. Maybe I still need a threesome....I noticed that I am overly aroused at the sight of two women togther and even more so with a man in the mix. I know my current friend, SEXY, and a few others that I 'visit' here and there will not let this be an option. They want one-on-one, and how do you ask a woman to try a lesbian act, if I am not willing to try my own bi act, which I can't even consider. Makes me a hypocrite. So what did I do this morning? Have a cup of coffee, perused a swinger personal site, came across a few ads that are too far away for me, and got utterly turned on at teh site of two girls kissing looking for a man, and wonder to myself....'Why can't I find you people here?'

Friday, October 03, 2003

Bad Day 

It's 8:30 in the morning and I have yet to have my 1st cup of coffee which may be contributing to my current mood. But I'm pissed. Do you ever have loyalty issues with your friends? That is, not that they are being malicious, or backstabbing, or two-faced, but when it comes looking for that rare time you need support, they are all conveniently busy? Well, I'm kinda going through that right now. I have (or I believe 'had') some very close friends of mine that date back to college. During college and the many years thereafter they have all requested of me at one time or another to help them out in some way. Wether it be attend a wedding, move a house, drive them home when they are drunk, smooth over things in their life when they are down, and I never asked for anything in return.....ever. That's part of the job of being a friend...it comes with the territory...through thick and thin. Anyway, I have an important event coming up that they have all been aware of for months, yes months...With three week left to go, I have had either no response from them, or the most lame-ass, stupid, selfish excuses ever. One of my 'close' friends who has not returned my voice messages (yes plural) in the last few days, e-mailed me his excuse. And he even spelled my name wrong...That's just adds insult to injury. So I sit here this morning, actually pretty sad, and mad. I have tears, but I can't decide if they are from complete frustration and anger, OR sadness, betrayal, and realizing that friendships don't always work both ways. One of my co-workers told me to calm down, take a deep breath, collect my thoughts, and then call each of them and very calmly tell each one what I really thought, and don't bother calling me again when they are in trouble or need a helping hand. Sounds good, but it really is not in my nature. The worst part of being me is being too forgiving and valuing friendships so highly, that eventually I'll forgive them as not to lose them. So who is the bigger loser? Me, for those friends that aren't attending, or Me for eventually forgiving them and going back to the status quo. I really don't need coffee right now...I need to go to a bar and drink and slough off work today I am so mad.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003


Well, you can see it's been just over a week since my last blog. I guess I just haven't been too inspired lately, and have been pretty bored with life in general. The only thing that really sticks out in my head as of late is the new fall TV season. Yup, I'm a junkie for drama's, and I always get hooked in ongoing series. So most of my nights revolve around watching one channel and taping another. Work is still there, though I am taking on more responsibilty, and my days are resulting in faster time sinks. But I'm burnt out. Some of my peers, who I fix things for are inept. I can't believe sometimes I have to hold the hands of adults and/or managers. Anyway, on to my story today, 'cause I am bored right now. I don't jnow why this story sprung into my head this morning, but I felt compelled to share it. This story takes place about 12-13 years ago when I was in my early 20's. I had met a girl in college, and we couldn't have been more opposite in our outlook in life and how the wrold revolved. She, a very feminist liberal, and me, somewhat of a staunch conservative (though my viewpoints are a little softer today) lived in the same dorm. She was about 2 years older than me, and of Argentinian descent. Very beautiful with sandy-blond hair, green eyes, and nice skin with a natural tan/olive color to it. Needless to say we eventually went out, and it was a very rocky relationship. I think from day one we fought, and we fought over the dumbest things. Being that we are both attractive people, I think we had an unsaid game of making the other one jealous my being flirtatious with others in fron of each other. But despite all this, we had a great sex life. It was agressive, fun, nasty and dirty. Not dirty as in gross kinky german crap you read about, but we had a lot of games together, and many nights were fileld with whipcream, restraints, blindfolds, music, etc. I guess it was an 'erotic' and 'sophisticated' sex life we shared. Anyway, as all good thinsg come to an end, so did we. And like most explosive couples, we got back together and broke up numerous times over a 2 year period, always with sex as the central theme. It is here I am going to share my story. One year, my 'friend' Bella (not her real name) was finally dating a person for more than a few weeks. His name was Geoff, and he was a psuedo musician...he liked to play the guitar. I actually ran into them at parties and about town (remember we were still in college and at a small campus) and he was nice. I never had anything against him, and I never shunned him. I know Bella still like to see if she could make me jealous from time to time, and would drop 'looks' at me from time to time when Geoff was around. I think Geoff kinda knew this, but was too afraid to confront Bella or he just dealt with it in his own way. Nice guy, really. I hate to see nice guys get the shaft, even by me..... Anyway, I know Geoff was out of town one weekend playing a gig with his band about an hour or so south of our campus as I had run into Bella the night before at a party. Nothing happened that night, but I guess just to see if I still had it, I decided to give her a call the next day. I think she must have thought the same thing, as when I called, Bella was a just a tad too willing to talk with me again. Long story short, Bella invited me over to her apartment for a few drinks after I hinted heavily I was doing nothing that evening as well. I showed up at her door with a six pack in hand of Coors Light, (that's what she liked to drink), and I was greeted to a candle lit studio apartment and soft music as she opened the door. There Bella stood before me wearing a long white T-shirt that went past her bottom. Barefoot, looking up at me with those green eyes and incense burning in the background. I walked in, sat down, and offered her a beer. We must have sat there making idle chat for about 30 minutes, both secretly trying to figure out if this was a mistake or who was going to make the first move. I honestly don't remember who started it, but within the next five minutes we were making out. What I do remember was that I felt great and naughty...Naughty that I was doing something forbidden (that is making out with another mans girlfriend and knowing what was about to happen) and great (for the way her body felt against mine knowing she was standing on her toes wearing only a t-shirt and panties). Side note: Lingerie has its place, and I love lingerie...especially nice sexy lace stuff that shows off a woman's body and her tan. I hate 'gimmick' lingerie, like Nurse outfits, Bunnies, or the dreaded French Maid...those are just too comical and I can't get into it if you look ridiculous, BUT there is something to be said for woman and T-Shirts. Sometimes, the best lingerie in the world is the old, plain T-Shirt a woman wears with no bra....Just the slight hint that she may or may not be wearing panties underneath... Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah...So we make out for a few minutes, and inevitably my hand slips under her shirt to feel nice silk panties. My hand slowly crawls up her body to confirm she is wearing no bra. As I continue to make out with her, I begin to kiss her neck, and what gets me so bothered is those small whimpers that are uttered from her mouth into my ear. I am so turned on at this point, my hands slip under her panties and I can feel her dampness with one hand. It;s not to much longer before she has aided me in shucking my clothing, and leads me to her bed. With me naked, on my back, and my manhood standing to attention, Bella climbs on top of me and we begin to make love for the next 15 minutes. One thing I remember about Bella was that she really always got into it, maybe that is why I found her so irresistable, even when we were fighting. She would close her eys, bite her bottom lip, and get really sweaty. A nice sheen of perspiration would always cover Bella when I was with her, and here orgasms were always audible. That would drive me insane. After we both came, we took a shower together, more of a washing off of our sex and bodily fluids than anything super romantic, but we did play a bit. That didn't last long, as Bella finally came to her senses and asked me to dress and leave soon. I looked at her and wondered why. I wasn't mad, I knew I was going to leave most likely anyway, but why the rush? I guess she looked at the clock and realized that Geoff would be here any minute. I guess he had called earlier before I arrived adn told Bella that the gig was over, he was just going to grab dinner and spend the night at her house. Then I felt bad. Not for me. Not for her. But for Geoff. He was coimng 'home' from a gig to see his Bella, who just gave herself up to me yet again. He would crawl into her bed later, and only Bella and I would know we just had sex there an hour before hand. Geoff and Bella eventually broke up, but not because of me, and it was sometime aftre our encounter. I'm sure Bella was just one of those girls who liked to play around, and it was that night on my drive back home, I realized that no matter how fun and crazy Bella was in bed, she could never be trusted.....ever. And that is no 'girlfriend' that I would ever want.

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